I'm just going to say this. I like your story a lot and I TOTALLY ship Hicstrid! And by the way, Astrid's Nadder is named "Stormfly." Thanks for writing this.

this was a short story but a good one thanks.

yea I see that hiccup have some problem in express hes feeling, but what whit the note ?

I see whatbyou mean by confusion of shot counts. As much as I live the movies and TV series, it bugs me at how Inconsistant some of the dragon facts are.

Story Concept: A basic continuation of the end of the film where Hiccup is trying to tell Astrid how he feels about her. This idea has been done a hundred times before with varying levels of success. How well did this one succeed? Well, I guess it was interesting enough. It's at least worth reading, anyway, if you like Hiccstrid.
Story Integrity: Some characters are a bit out-of-character. Astrid lets Snotlout into her house and asks him for his input on the love letters, rather than asking another girl, like Ruffnut, or a knowledgeable friend, like Fishlegs. Snotlout's acting weird too. He pushes Astrid away after she hugs him. These moments don't really break suspension of disbelief or anything though, they just seem weird. Everyone else is acting more or less the way you'd expect them to. Stoick is an awkward parent only now getting used to talking to his son, Hiccup's shy, Astrid's... well, other than that whole astrapohbia thing, she's still tough, etc.
Pacing: So far the story has done acceptably as far as story concept and story integrity go, but this is where it begins to suffer. Many chapters accomplish little and just feel like filler. Sometimes, events could just as well have never happened and it wouldn't really matter as far as the plot's concerned. It just gets tedious.
Spelling and Grammar: Ah, here's something we rarely see in fan fictions. This person knows English and bothered to proof check her writings. I found very few errors, nothing you would notice while reading (unless you're autistic or OCD or something) and I had no trouble understanding what was being said or what was going on. Very well done with that at least.

Overall, this story is mildly worth reading if you like Hiccstrid. The story is pure romance, no angst or action or anything. At first it may seem a bit slow, but it picks up slightly after Chapter 3. For an earlier writing from an author, this is a mostly acceptable quality.

For Chapter 3 because it won't let me post it there:
Chapter summary:
Toothless somehow gathers flowers for Hiccup to give to Astrid. After accomplishing this implausible task, he then brings the flowers back to Hiccup's room and covers it with fish for some reason. Hiccup decides to give the flowers to Astrid later.
Look, I'm not saying that it's bad to have things said longer than they absolutely have to be, but these last two chapters felt way too much like filler; nothing's really happened yet.

She's only now getting it? She found flowers by the rock she was sitting on just before Hiccup showed up, and it only occurs to her now?

Asking Hiccup to come over to your house isn't exactly a "ruthless plan" Astrid.

What is an "I don't think so" look supposed to look like? What's a "ready to die" look look like?

Her name was beautiful to him, almost poetic, so Hiccup focused on making the letters curvy and elaborate. Each letter written was like a thousand cheerful bells ringing in his heart.
Cheeeeeeessssy!

So Hiccup searched for a viking guidebook for love and didn't notice that all the books he looked through were guidebooks?

Why was Hiccup proud?

Toothless can read now? Really? Either that or it's a complete coincidence. Either way, it's stupid.

Snotlout is out of character; he wouldn't push Astrid away from hugging him.

What's Snotlout doing in Astrid's home anyway?

Stupid, awkward, and pointless. I can sum this chapter up in one sentence:
Stoick tells Hiccup to get Astrid flowers.
The End.

"the destination seemed farther than what it seemed" What?

"Colour" with a "U" suggests British English, but "gray" suggests American English. Hmm...

Just FYI, it's called the Red Death. I know it was mostly green, but it was still named the Red Death.

I doubt Astrid has astraphobia considering how calm she was before leaving the mead hall during the storm in the movie, but I'll give it a pass.

Just wanted to say the nadder's name is stormfly
BTW love this story

Hahaha XD Oh those pickup lines are such an epic fail! I certainly liked the "If you were a booger, I'd pick you.." line because it's hilarious! XD

that was wonderful very good i loved ever second of it
Draco122

wait are you going to tell us what happen between the Nadder and the NihtyFury

bestest chapter/book evah!