Your shit at writing, the plot is all over the place, the story is to fast it don't link together good.

This is TERRIBLE. YOU CAN'T WRITE A SIMPLE PLOT EVERYTHING IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. YOU ARE A CRAPPY WRITER I WASTED 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE ON THIS SHITTY STORY

well, i had the feeling i have to say something at the end, so -
read my later commants.
it was a nice story.
- the end -
bya!

i was right after all?
man, i was being SINIC!

*keep on reading...*

oh, c'mon!
Ur fucking kidding me, right?!
i mean - he was ABUSED!
and then, his parents are dead.
now what?
he's adopted!
next what?!
he's esme's lost child or something?
i love ur writing, but it's a bit too much, dont ya think?

YES THANK U JESUS! I WAS WAITING 4 HIM 2 DIE!

that was good keep it up

please make the sequel i really want to read it, i think the first story was really good and i cant wait for the second one...please and thankz

This doesn't seem realistic, they began a relationship to quickly, if Edward was being abused by someone that close to him he wouldn't be open to making out with some girl he just met.

:O "Edward, your dad is dead." I dropped my cupcake. I'm in shock, literally

wonderful story i am a little mad you ended it like that tho, buuuuuut all is good it was a fantastic sory, please check mine out it's called my life im not sure if it is that great yet i know some people liked it but i would love your opinion!

wow, they progressed extremely fast, nobody just starts kissing someone the first day they meet, im glad they can be friends but they moved really fast, i feel bad for edward though and its sick that charlie knew his father beat him and he never did anything about it.

im glad i came across this story, i feel sorry for edward but im glad that bella has been so nice to him. im not looking forward to reading about anymore abuse or neglect inflicted on edward but i am excited to see how their relationship develops(sp)i hope bella bella will remain a faithful friend and not give in to the petty ways of her peers.

OMG! Damon! Just wow! I don't like you. How could you end it like that! Please put the sequel up soon!

love it keep writing !