Also, what a unique way to handle Divine! This is a character I'm normally used to hating for being a manipulative P.O.S. - He's still true to that moniker, but you actually made him seem like a pretty good guy for a while there. I enjoyed how much more subtle his true motives are here versus how blatant he is about them in the actual cannon.

I can see why you're now a successful author! This was a beautifully written story. The elements you retconn'ed were done so very well and the overall progression of the new elements to your narrative were very smooth. No one was ever out of character, and I dare say your writing took my favorite parts of both Yusei and Akiza and enhanced them: That's extremely hard to do. Kudos!

There was only one potential improvement that stuck out to me: Both Yusei vs Aki duels would have really benefited from some look at the play-by-play dialogue. I do understand that jumping into all of the moments from the anime would have been a lot of work as you would have had to change a lot, but there are a few events inside of both duels that I think could have really added to your story. Examples include Aki's "hidden emotion", the Rose Tentacles assault, Aki's mask shattering, Thorn of Malice, and Aki controlling her powers for the first time. That being said, the way you wrote both duels was still great!

Overall, I think I like your story and how it developed Yusei and Akiza's characters better than the actual cannon. You've done something extremely hard to do in that all of the major events and backstory for both characters is still around; they are still who they are. However, you introduced both characters to each other much earlier than usual in a way that makes sense and allows both characters to mature and build themselves up off of each other. Chapter by chapter, you kept a consistent smile on my face.

Great work!

I wish there was more of this pairing on FF. I really enjoyed this story as I binged through it in one of my sleepless nights. Thanks for helping my pseudo insomnia be not so frustrating!

That was nicely done story!
You are quite talented!
Keep up!

EHMEGERDSOSWEET!

That was an awesome story!

love it. i was so glad when i found the story again yesterday. love the adaptation

This is beautiful...and on that note,Who the hell did Jack marry?XD hopefully secretary was only good enough for Carley was...by god she had some touching scenes.

Wow

"It's your funeral," Aki agreed darkly. and then skip it :

I just finished reading this story for a second time, partly because I hadn't read it for awhile and partly because I was trying to get some inspiration for a story of my own. This was masterfully done, and you ended up not changing that much of the Fortune Cup and Dark Signer arcs. I for one was actually glad that you skipped over some of the stuff from the anime, as it wasn't quite necessary to go over again (anyone familiar with the anime would know what was going on). I was a little bummed that you didn't cover the later part of the anime, but then that would make for a really long story. I also understand why you didn't cover the duels, as that would be a real pain to write from memory.

The ending was probably the best part of the story. I wish that the anime had ended this way (though they obviously couldn't show part of your epilogue). I also liked that you got Jack and Carly together, which is also something that should've happened in the anime. I don't understand why there have to be all the unresolved romances in the Yu-Gi-Oh! franchise. Anyway, excellent work.

wOnderful story...it'd be nice if you'd continued til the end of the anime...LOVED IT 3

this is good!

This was pure brilliance. Very romantic,too! It's very sweet so if I gave this story a flavour it will be sweetness! :)

this was good. i liked it dude.