TN/ Hello readers of this shitty fic!
We are an extremely immature pathetic idiot group of drarry haters. Out of boredom, we cracked this guy's passy for fun (and it took less than 11 minutes to do it too) and will probably get us in a shitload of trouble. Which we probably deserve 'cause we're all being trolls right now. Meh.

And I present to you OUR crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skipped over to skim a random chapter) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "fag-girls"

I the self insert American retail wearing british vampire Sue/Stu, coughed up blood.

Satan/Cedric/Edward/Robert kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Slytherin Sue/Stu."

Satan/Cedric/Edward/Robert sobbed. "I love you Self Insert/Tom Felton."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

All the bloody fag hag/feltup fangirls suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. They frowned when & realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Self Insert/Tom Felton's lifeless body, They screamed. Their faces became pale with horror. They screamed for the healers, Drumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single badboy in leather pants capable of reviving a person/self insert/vampire/actor they could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of self insert/Mr Felton. Everyone stared in shock. His/her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the mary sue/actor had became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (TN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong this fanfic is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax. On the right the battle of the Backside and the Rearenders did reach multiple climaxes!

And, because the replacement authors also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Harry then fled the scene & got married.

Troll Note/ And that dear readers of our little review is only way Draco & Harry should ever get together. Please await further copy and paste versions of this all over fics of this silly ship.
(this metatroll collaboration by hogwarts *********** chatgroup on 05/12/2020)

If you want to delete any reviews featuring constructive criticism, then don't ask for damn reviews in first place!
Suppose your one of these snowflake authors who 'praise me! adore me! love me!' 'oh no someone has said a tiny negative thing - squeeeee I'm going to have a breakdown over it!'.

Worst kind of attitude ever - particularly during current world events with good decent people dropping dead.
Get over yourself you self indulgent selfish idiotic child!

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"AARRGHH!" Malfoy woke with a start, sweat covering his whole body.
A dream - no a fucking nightmare! - like he'd never had before!
Fancying Potter! SHAGGING POTTER! He needed to owl his mother and organise a mind healer to meet him in Hogsmead this coming weekend. Fortunately it was only two days, but still.
He briefly considered if some potion or a substance had been slipped to him at dinner? Unlikely as the house elves would never allow it. He knew better than to ask Snape for any assistance. Chalk it up to experience and NEVER tell his father was best way to go.

Despite multiple sessions with various mind healers, Malfoy could not throw off the recurring dreams until end of school year.
He'd ended up a nervous wreak as even Pomfrey's dreamless sleep potions refused to work. They were vivid, detailed, varied and oh so bloody realistic!
He was listless, hardly slept and failed half his end of year exams. It had taken most of his father's influence, calling in multiple favours and a fifty thousand galleon contribution to the schools muggleborn education fund to keep him with his year mates. Having to repeat a year would mean so much loss of face, as to be fatal in Slytherin political circles.
That rage in his father's face - and him snapping his cane in half - when stood in headmaster's office as Dumbledore exceeding politely suggested that muggle fund donation, would never leave him. IF this continued next year, he'd find himself at Durmstrang before christmas.

As it was he expected extreme punishments from father during two month summer holidays. And of course Lucius Malfoy's punishments were nothing to laugh at. While nowhere near as pain inducing or sadistic as his aunt's famous rages, the prospect of facing those subtle paternal tortures made his blood run cold.
It was ALL POTTER'S FAULT! But the Gryffindor had ignored him since before that first dream. He couldn't imagine that stinking scarhead keeping silent if he had been involved? Mudblood bitch Granger wouldn't break the rules like that and Weasel was too stupid to accomplish anything so subtle.

Draco's problems disappeared during July and August at Malfoy Manor, but returned with avengeance after arriving back at Hogwarts. He was packed off to the Scandinavian school before beginning of October. Lack of rest, disorientation and nerves caused him to vomit on arrival by portkey. That had been quite an ominous start to his new placement at the institute. It didn't get terribly better.

It took a further eight months to become free of those accursed dreams of being with Potter, kissing Potter, marrying Potter, HAVING POTTER'S BABIES and afterwards he never worked out where these perverse visions came from?
He had a very mediocre academic career at Durmstrang's and left England for good after he graduated. The humiliation of bumping into any of his former Hogwart's schoolmates coloring his choice. His going bald at twenty didn't help matters - he put that down to stress of his father being chucked in Azkban and losing more than three quarters of Malfoy fortune to fines. Living in Austria he found some success as an exotic potions and powders trader. He never had any desire to marry, as any sexual contact with others made him picture Potter's face as they were in throws of passion. Those green eyes filled with potent lust! Eeep! And of course those visions were worse when he COULDN'T see Potter's face.

Voldemort's feeble attempt to return in 2041 was crushed by The Order of the Eternal Phoenix and Dumbledore's Legacy muggleborn group's Horcrux neutralizers. Harry Potter's soul fragment having been removed years earlier at St. Mungo's under supervision of Hermione Granger-Weasley and her daughter Rose Longbottom.
Harry frying the so called Dark Lord with a Muggle thermal lance was a final insult to Tom. As he turned it on Riddle's limbless body, it was rumoured the screams could be heard from outside the Shrieking Shack to other side of Hogwarts.

Draco Malfoy passed away from a particularly nasty strain of dragon pox in his ninety third year. Bald, wrinkled, bent and with sunken features, his remains could've been mistaken for a very tall house elf. Only two extremely distant relatives attended his funeral, and then that was mainly to see if he'd left any gold. It was not to be, as what little he owned was eaten up by providing him with medical care in those last few years.

(Fred and George's replacement of Draco's haircream with one of their more potent products was never detected. They smirked for weeks when the blonde ferret unknowingly packed up two full tubs when he left for Durmstrang!
It was only revealed in 2136 at reading of the late Fred's will. Their nine hundred relatives and friends filling the Brighton & Hove Quidditch stadium pissed themselves laughing for almost an hour! Harry had to be taken to New St. Mungo's for the strain on his elderly chest, but recovered in a couple of days. For generations to come wizards, witch's & even muggles would go out of their way to taunt a large portrait of Lucius and his son, which still hung in a quite corner of the Ministry atrium. Icing on cake of this would often be portrait Draco hurling insults back or breaking down in hysterical sobbing - which incited portrait Lucius to smack him across the back of the head!)

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"AARRGHH!" Malfoy woke with a start, sweat covering his whole body.
A dream - no a fucking nightmare! - like he'd never had before!
Fancying Potter! SHAGGING POTTER! He needed to owl his mother and organise a mind healer to meet him in Hogsmead this coming weekend. Fortunately it was only two days, but still.
He briefly considered if some potion or a substance had been slipped to him at dinner? Unlikely as the house elves would never allow it. He knew better than to ask Snape for any assistance. Chalk it up to experience and NEVER tell his father was best way to go.

Despite multiple sessions with various mind healers, Malfoy could not throw off the recurring dreams until end of school year.
He'd ended up a nervous wreak as even Pomfrey's dreamless sleep potions refused to work. They were vivid, detailed, varied and oh so bloody realistic!
He was listless, hardly slept and failed half his end of year exams. It had taken most of his father's influence, calling in multiple favours and a fifty thousand galleon contribution to the schools muggleborn education fund to keep him with his year mates. Having to repeat a year would mean so much loss of face, as to be fatal in Slytherin political circles.
That rage in his father's face - and him snapping his cane in half - when stood in headmaster's office as Dumbledore exceeding politely suggested that muggle fund donation, would never leave him. IF this continued next year, he'd find himself at Durmstrang before christmas.

As it was he expected extreme punishments from father during two month summer holidays. And of course Lucius Malfoy's punishments were nothing to laugh at. While nowhere near as pain inducing or sadistic as his aunt's famous rages, the prospect of facing those subtle paternal tortures made his blood run cold.
It was ALL POTTER'S FAULT! But the Gryffindor had ignored him since before that first dream. He couldn't imagine that stinking scarhead keeping silent if he had been involved? Mudblood bitch Granger wouldn't break the rules like that and Weasel was too stupid to accomplish anything so subtle.

Draco's problems disappeared during July and August at Malfoy Manor, but returned with avengeance after arriving back at Hogwarts. He was packed off to the Scandinavian school before beginning of October. Lack of rest, disorientation and nerves caused him to vomit on arrival by portkey. That had been quite an ominous start to his new placement at the institute. It didn't get terribly better.

It took a further eight months to become free of those accursed dreams of being with Potter, kissing Potter, marrying Potter, HAVING POTTER'S BABIES and afterwards he never worked out where these perverse visions came from?
He had a very mediocre academic career at Durmstrang's and left England for good after he graduated. The humiliation of bumping into any of his former Hogwart's schoolmates coloring his choice. His going bald at twenty didn't help matters - he put that down to stress of his father being chucked in Azkban and losing more than three quarters of Malfoy fortune to fines. Living in Austria he found some success as an exotic potions and powders trader. He never had any desire to marry, as any sexual contact with others made him picture Potter's face as they were in throws of passion. Those green eyes filled with potent lust! Eeep! And of course those visions were worse when he COULDN'T see Potter's face.

Voldemort's feeble attempt to return in 2041 was crushed by The Order of the Eternal Phoenix and Dumbledore's Legacy muggleborn group's Horcrux neutralizers. Harry Potter's soul fragment having been removed years earlier at St. Mungo's under supervision of Hermione Granger-Weasley and her daughter Rose Longbottom.
Harry frying the so called Dark Lord with a Muggle thermal lance was a final insult to Tom. As he turned it on Riddle's limbless body, it was rumoured the screams could be heard from outside the Shrieking Shack to other side of Hogwarts.

Draco Malfoy passed away from a particularly nasty strain of dragon pox in his ninety third year. Bald, wrinkled, bent and with sunken features, his remains could've been mistaken for a very tall house elf. Only two extremely distant relatives attended his funeral, and then that was mainly to see if he'd left any gold. It was not to be, as what little he owned was eaten up by providing him with medical care in those last few years.

(Fred and George's replacement of Draco's haircream with one of their more potent products was never detected. They smirked for weeks when the blonde ferret unknowingly packed up two full tubs when he left for Durmstrang!
It was only revealed in 2136 at reading of the late Fred's will. Their nine hundred relatives and friends filling the Brighton & Hove Quidditch stadium pissed themselves laughing for almost an hour! Harry had to be taken to New St. Mungo's for the strain on his elderly chest, but recovered in a couple of days. For generations to come wizards, witch's & even muggles would go out of their way to taunt a large portrait of Lucius and his son, which still hung in a quite corner of the Ministry atrium. Icing on cake of this would often be portrait Draco hurling insults back or breaking down in hysterical sobbing - which incited portrait Lucius to smack him across the back of the head!)

Hahah love it just perfect

LOVE IT!

LOVE IT!

LOVE IT!

Ohh this was good i enjoyed it great job

To be honest, I almost always add ice to my milk. It's just another liquid, after all, and I think that milk tastes better ice-cold. Is that weird? I'd like to think it isn't, but... meh. Not like it would stop me. :)

LOVE IT!

I LOVE IT!

LOVE IT!

LOVE IT!

LOVE IT!