Very poethic, good work!

Very very good! I enjoyed it :] Keep it up!

this was really really good..it was well written I liked it very much

The imagery of this story is amazing, and I adore you for writing this. I especially like how you used the seting as a character in itself, like LA was a personification of Rayflo's feelings.

Vassalord is a greatly under-estimated manga series and definitely one of my favorites. The relationship between Johnny and Charlie is multifaceted and you can tell that they truly have a deep bond with one another. Barry is a refereshing villain, as he truly makes you hate and loathe his existence almost as much as Rayflo does.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this and I hope you write more Vassalord stories in the future.

Ah, at first I thought 'he' refered to Chris, but I see it was Barry propeling the fic and Rayflo's thoughts. That was a nice twist at the end. And I especially liked Rayflo's thoughts about Chris. You used very good descriptions throughout, very good details in capturing Rayflo's particular take on things. The only con-crit I can come up with is the absence of a few commas. Otherwise, a very good story!

oh! I loved it! and at the "Found you" my stomach jumped a meter

Oh, that was just so very excellent! Well done, lovely angst, and just a little suspense. Nice, nice.