I want you to write another Bee/Charlotte story. i really liked this one. too cute!

This was so amazingly writtne! It had so much plot and... it was just wonderful; the fact that i love Bumblebee just adds to it. :)

It was great! Keep up the good work, my friend.

I loved it. Very funny and sweet!

this is an awsome story.

aw yay i loved it. thank you so uch its awesome, sorry it took me so long to review i am on holidays in Asia so i couldnt get on the net for a bit;D

its great i love it, you are amazing, i have nothing but i love it so yeah i love it:P

This is not as great as others think it is, I have to say. Mrs. Optimus Prime, you have a lot of grammatical errors and run-ons. Your plotline is not very stable, either. Additionally, your summary is definitely bad. Really bad. It's not one that writers should have on their story. 'Bad summary, but in a hurry' is NOT an acceptable excuse for part of a summary. Even if you are in a rush, then you should have waited until you were free again, then post the story and summary. But that is not a good summary that you have there.

Entirely disappointed.

aw! i liked it!

ooh i loved this it was so good! your always good!

lol if your not busy and maybe want to can u make one dedicated to me? lol if it doesnt burden u lol

and if u want i can make u one too

but im still trying to start out my OCxOPTIMUS fanfic and my anime one, on top of that school work :S but i definitly want to make one of u too :D

so how bout it? if u want to? :D

Oh wow! That's too cool! XD

I really loved this!

cool story

So. Freaking. Adorable.

I love it.

Charlotte and Bumbles makes such a sweet couple. Great job chica, and I like what you're doing, taking requests and stuff.

Its a great way to use the creative juices!

Anywho...Awesome job.

-The Jaxter

*squee*

Yay! Bumblebee fic :D

Super cute one shot :-)

Great job.

Additionally, there are a lot of other pieces of texts that I could have used as examples to help you correct your mistakes in here, but there is just too much to mention.

I hope you will edit and read over your work carefully from now on.

Cheers,

Ohemjee.

I suppose this is a good excuse for a oneshot.

You didn't actually develop their relationship in a story, though, and that makes it seem very...unreal, in a way. It was too rushed.

You have a lot of mistakes in mechanics and sentences, I have to say, though. You tend to switch back and forth between past tense and pretense, and it was very confusing for me to decipher. Additionally, you don't place commas where needed.

Ex: '“Bumblebee?” Charlotte whispered going into the garage.' It should be '"Bumblebee?" Charlotte whispered, going into the garage.' You have to place a comma there in order for the sentence to flow more smoothly and make sense.

Ex: 'Bee just chuckled and replied, “I go out alone a lot he won’t mind. I mean our beings are independent.”' should be 'Bee just chuckled and replied, “I go out alone a lot. He won’t mind. I mean, our beings are independent.” You should either use a comma or a period.

Switching tenses ex: 'Charlotte smiled and walked over to him and getting into the front driver’s seat. She started caressing the steering wheel and leaned back into the leather seat.' should be 'Charlotte smiled and walked over to him, getting into the front driver's seat. She caressed the steering wheel and leaned back into the leather seat.'

You have a lot of mistakes, most of which aren't careless ones, I'm sure, because they've been repeated throughout everyone of your stories. As a 19 year old writer, I'd expect you to realized where you need to start correcting already.

I am simply offering constructive criticism, I'm not flaming you. Now, I like your stories fairly well, but I just want to be helpful and help you make changes instead of praising you repeatedly and make you repeat those mistakes.

Sorry if I was too harsh or blunt.

Cheers,

Ohemjee.

How cute love it!