I almost thought Rock would had looked at it.

Very nice story. :D

I don't think this is anywhere near as corny as you think it is. Potentially it could have been way worse. It has the right degree of corn.

Pretty good story, but not too much happens. You probably could have gotten more use out of Blues, and possibly Forte. But other than that, your writing style is good, and so is your grammar and punctuation.