You never cease to amaze me, my friend. I feel sorry for Hearts, really sorry for her. I shouldn't but I can't help it. And Jon, I just imagine him holding the lifeless body of Hearts and I cry, just seeing him so helpless and lost. It may have been a lie, but he believed it and it made so real for him. The pain was real. Despite the callous of Hearts, in the end hers and Joker's were the saddest story ever told, two people who loved, lost, and yet were never the same. They turned to violence to forget their pain but were forever haunted.

Is there a time where the two of them could be happy? Only Story Teller knows, but will she talk? This was very feeling chapter, you got really emotional and it goes to show that you are a wonderful writer! You caught the emotions wonderfully and I did tear up. Keep up this awesome work, Nezzy!

I'm back to reading and how glad I am. I loved this chapter and I have to say, I keep getting more and more curious as to who will win the bet in the end.

Poor Crane, he seems to be always getting manipulated and I'm definitely shocked to see that Hearts did care for him! It seems like he's already starting to fall apart just after reading about Hearts' Maiden name. Still...as much as I love the character Joker, I want Crane and Joseph to win!

I hope to read more of your fics and any chapters I might have missed, especially with the christmas holidays coming up I'll finally have loads of free time! Keep writing and I hope to read more :)

The introduction blew me away. It really caught my attention. Story Teller is more professional that her parents...and I love her. This was amazing! Will Jon kill himself and what about Joseph? Will he too find out the truth? And if so, what will happen? O.O...the plot thickens and it's only the first chapter.

The way you write is full of suspense and mystery and you don't want to see these people fall and yet at the same time your curiosity is so piqued you can neither look away. It's the feeling of old Noir novels and yet is seeped in science-fiction and modern culture. These would make awesome movies. Keep it up! I can't wait till the next chapter!

-Amber

this is powerful

you handles everything very well

i loved this welcoming to this new story.

no echaste tanto verbo and you got got straight to the plot of this chapter. amazing. you've really got down your characters more and more from your growing muse.

i love it

love ya nezzie

3

haha ya! aqui esta el review que te prometi :3

No way no way no way did you just start a third fic without finishing the other two and darn if this one doesn't look like it will be the best of the three! I guess as time goes by we get better at things, even with writing, but even if this is the third fic on Allie, Jack, Crane and Harley, it's lost none of the originality and freshness that I've come to associate with your writing! The only analogy I can make to this is Twenty Years After concerning the Three Musketeers, now in their late forties/early fifties. Or perhaps The Count of Monte Cristo, where we begin with a young man, then make a leap forward in time nearly twenty years. Or, on a less classical yet just as applicable (how absurd!) basis, Titanic. Only no way in heck does that do this story justice.

Nothing could have prepared me to walk into this story and find Hearts already dead. Craziness. And yet, even in death, she will remain the main character, her final drama-and she's not even there to be in it. Crane and Jack as old men? It's just something we don't think about...but it's true. All people age. All people die. Storyteller is right in calling us all normal, boring mortals. We all have an expiration date. Even Queen of Hearts can't and won't deny it.

And Storyteller! She's the best narrator you've given us by far. Perhaps inexperienced, but definitely the most professional. During the 'action' of this chapter we hardly felt her interruptions at all-even the tone was largely staged by the actions of the players. There was no voice-overs by Male Narrator commenting on how boring or predictable things were getting, no FM complaining about her husband...in short, you've shown us what has to be the most non-biased view of your alternate (well, one of your MANY alternates) universe.

Hearts' letter to Jonathan was gut-wrenching. Because for a moment, for a tiny, millisecond of a moment we think perhaps she did come to love him afterall...

But no. She lived as she died: a puppeteer.

But even her mind and heart were not so far gone as to leave Jonathan without some consolation. There was a world, perhaps many worlds, we she did love him and stayed with him.

Cheers, and until next time (hopefully soon!)

Lasgalendil

Rather a promising beginning. Interestingly, in what sides forking paths of this garden? Very much interesting a branch of a reality, also it would be desirable to know, from what it has grown, what has led to to such outcome? Through what steps changing the future, this history has passed?

Story Teller nice. Yes, I find out the daughter of Narrators.:)

WHOA...Nice!

Wow...just wow. A brilliant end to the great manipulator and such irony that lung cancer would be what kill the great Queen of Hearts.

Uh-oh, poor Crane! I wonder if at the end he really will kill himself...guess I will have to wait! :)

Haha, I'm loving Cheshire Cat, a mix between Crane and Hearts must be quite crazy. I can only guess how the Notebook will impact their lives.

Lol, Joker didn't seem too upset but I wonder what he was thinking about so much...I look forwards to more! :D