lovely. you want to love and hate her friend at the same time. Though i have to say, Adrian? like Adrian Pucey? lol, probably im not the first to say this. but i absolutely love the pacing and the flashbacks, it is a beautiful one shot.

I really liked this story. It was great to see a bit of what Hermione's childhood might have been like and what wizards and the war was like for muggles.
Good job!

Argh, and I had only just recovered from 'Fancy Charm'...!

I'm sure I've said this before, but your characterisation of Hermione is flawless. You have such a great hold on her complicated personality and even when she's a secondary character as in this fic, you have her spot on.

I particularly liked Adrian's reflections on their schooldays. That bit was really well done and I just love the line with Hermione and the school safety patrol. JK doesn't give us much for Hermione's backstory, but you've done really well to fill us in with a possible explanation. It's very believable, to the point it's almost like picking up an extra secret epilogue and simply carrying on the HP books :D

I think this one is the last one of your canon pieces? I think this one is my favourite - it's just so realistic, heartwarming, saddening and amazing at the same time. Now I think I'll go and try and reassemble my shattered heart D:

Great, great work! Absolutely loved it!

Byoshi

I can completely believe these older versions of Ginny and Hermione. Great characterization, excellent dialogue. I applaud your use of OC's. Very well done there. Interesting choice in subject- what muggles thought of the mysterious happenings of that terrible seventh year. Excellent portrayal of the spell taking hold at the end.

I wouldn't mind seeing more of these OC's.

One small nitpicking detail:

"Then, there was that murder in our old neighborhood. The body was just across the street from your parents' house. Not a mark on itust dead."

should be

"Then, there was that murder in our old neighborhood. The body was just across the street from your parents' house. Not a mark on it just dead."

Very nice! You really don't see very many fics that explore Hermione's life at this point after the books. You wrote this very well and the interaction between characters was spot on. Even your OCs were lovely.

Overall, I really enjoyed this. Thanks so much for this and well done!

This was absolutely amazing! Quite unique, such an original idea, and I really love the way you handled it. The whole fic was really well written and described, a really pleasant read. I really love the way you depicted Hermione as a child, so bright, stubborn and outspoken! What a strong little character! Her confronting Adrian's father about his drinking was just hilarious. I also love the way Adrian really liked Hermione, yet as she was pushed away and disliked by all the other children, he gradually took his distance – still trying to help and support her when he got the occasion, but unwilling to actually stick up for her… You really showed the cruelty of children, Adrian was a sweet boy and he liked Hermione, but it was best – safer – for him to keep out of the way as she became basically bullied… The way you involved the magic in the whole thing was perfect. I love the scene in which the girls have Hermione cornered, it was absolutely chilling, and Hermione's desperate calling for Adrian was so heart-breaking. The stark difference, as soon as she learnt who she really was, was really striking!

I love the way you described Ginny and the children, little James was adorable, and Hermione's nervousness about the birth was very well shown. I like the part about her job! Adrian's mental picture of Ron was just hilarious, and I like the way you showed his affection to Hermione and how he finds himself drawn to her. It was really well done. I really appreciated the way you handled the whole talk about their seventh year, all the bits that we know are related to the war, and the way it slowly added up and Hermione's tense reactions, until Adrian started understanding that there was something huge he was missing… The way you described the memory curse was just perfect, especially his thoughts about the word "Obliviate". And I just love the way the end echoes the beginning, as though nothing had happened at all. Really, you handled this wonderfully. Great, great work!

This is such a neat look at what might have happened. I like it. Your OCs are very well-written; I don't see that often, so good job.

One little typo:

"Not a mark on itust dead" - should be "not a mark on it - just dead."

All in all, very enjoyable read.

This. was. AWESOME. I'm seriously floored right now. I've never, NEVER thought about Hermione's life before she got her Hogwarts letter and all that, but of course she would have gone to regular Muggle school and been the bossy, young, know-it-all Hermione we all love. This was so well written and such an excellent idea. Great, great job!

For someone who claims to think so much of the rights of others, Hermione is mighty high-handed with her memory charms. Quite consistent with her ways in canon. They're only muggles, after all. What does it matter if an intelligent witch messes with their brains? Witches and wizards know best!

This was brilliant. It was sort of sad that hermione had to wipe their memories. I liked all the flashbacks of hermione at school.

This story was OK. I liked the interaction between the characters, but that seems to come with the price of having a bunch of things happening.

I was somewhat confused at what was happening, especially at the beginning.

A good thing I found in the story was that even thought the main characters were Adrian and Olivia, most of the story was focused around Hermione.

Overall, I think this was a good story, but it could have been spaced out to be a little less confusing.

This is such an interesting story. I love your choice of narrator, and you did a great job developing he and Olivia both in such a short frame. My favorite parts were the ones that flashed back to Hermione in primary school; sadly, your interpretation of that was probably very accurate :( Really well written as well.

This is fantastic! You created two unobtrusive original characters to show a side of Hermione we don't see often. A really well done story.

You've got one small typo near the end:

"Not a mark on itust dead"

That was the only one I found, though.

I'm off to see some of your other work!

Evee

I've always had a hard time with the way obliviation is used in the HP books. There, it often comes across as easy, or even humorous. But really, memories are so much part of our lives and our relationships with others, to remove someone's memories is a terrible act of cutting off part of their lives. I think that comes across here in that a relationship (even just one of a lapsed friendship with potential...) is artificially cut off because of the way that wizards cut themselves off from the rest of the world.

Fantastic job. You really gave some depth to the OC, which most authors tend to forget. Your characterization of Hermione was fabulous, and so was Ginny's.

Great flow and the dialogue really put the story together. Very, very nicely written. :)

-ESSie