Nice piece of literature

I really love reading fanfictions about what happened after voldy n Bella left the MoM

That's really well done... I loved it... I don't think Voldie out of character at all... Well, except for the torture thing... But it doesn't stand out... It's just...perfect... Yeah...

:D

I like it. I like how you portray the characters.

he he, that was so cool! :)

i love it when everything works out great, lol

I like this! Your characterizations were very good, especially Bellatrix.

That so totally doesn't need to be M rated. I think a T would have worked just fine.

That said, I loved it :D

Huh. Interesting... (: I liked it.

OMG I love it. hehe I so want more.

This is an interesting piece. It's a little OOC on Voldemort's part, because he really doesn't care that much for any of his Death Eaters, but Bellatrix is completely in character. I can buy Voldemort having an affair with Bellatrix, if just to torture her because she would realize he doesn't love her back. I don't think this story is rubbish at all, it's well thought out and a fascinating glimpse into the very strange relationship between Voldemort and his most devoted servant.

You should be proud of this! It is great work!

You presented Voldemort's character well and the description was fantastic.

I love the line:

“I will gladly endure anything you impose upon me, my Lord. It is an honour to just be in your presence.” she breathed, and her eyes were now filled with such deep admiration, it was hard to comprehend it at all."

This shows Bellatrix's undying loyalty to the Dark Lord and it is brilliant.

Being added to faves. I love it!

xoxLewrahxox x

It WAS a little OOC on His part, allowing her any sort of pleasure or showing any concern for her, but you redeemed yourself with this line:

"It passed in a blur of frenzied brutality and sadistic pleasure, for he knew he was hurting her as much as he was pleasing her." (Which, by the way, was perfection).

Personally, I adore tragic, unrequited love stories. This is really good. Especially because most of the Post-Ministry-Fiasco "punishment" scenes are usually from Bella's POV anyway, it was nice to see what the Dark Lord thinks of her. Love.

Why aren't you proud of this? You shouldn't tell the reader that because they will automatically go into it expecting it to be rubbish. Which it wasn't, by the way.

The punctuation could use some work but apart from that it was very good. My advice is firstly to get a beta and secondly to believe in yourself, your writing will improve tremendously. I’ll beta for you if you like. PM me.

Be proud, you did well. ]