I hope you update soon. It's been a year

You're whole cash listing just doesn't add up

Must keep secret

Proceeds to spill the beans freely and easily

Time travel was really weird

I really want to see what happens next. Looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the great work!

Wow this mc is pathetically spine less this book sucks

I forgot that this story has the most indecisive plot ever. Geez

The first 8 chapters of this story were pretty solid. "Naruto meets a pokegirl" kinda made me wonder why Naruto didn't just up and leave I know you insisted that nobody jump ship after the

...so Naruto has to travel back in time for breaking quarentine and revealing the existence of pokegirls. Is then told to not reveal the future to anyone.

But past Naruto is brought out of quarentine to train in Sanctuary. And Naruto's sister, who is a pokegirl for some reason, just straight up reveals her existence and the existence of pokegirls to Shikamaru and his whole family. And goes around hinting about the future.

It's like...why? You gave your reasons, announced that it would all make sense, then after this whole "gaaaah these rules are so important we have to commit straight up genocide if you don't help us screw with the past just to fix this mess!" The secret government agents or whatever go and break all the rules that are so important to stick to, these utterly extreme measures were deemed necessary.

And now "only the Kage knew" has turned into "everyone important has a pokegirl." And "Yondaime sealed Kitsu because he didn't know anything about pokegirls" is "Yondaime knew about pokegirls, but Kitsu turned feral for some reason." And let's not forget, "we kept the 2 worlds seperate, which is why there are random fangirl pokegirls persuing dashing young ninja, secret pokegirl twin sisters, and Naruto is a pokeperson who has been under a genjutsu this whole time."

When you explained it was all the work of some dirtbag and not some grand government conspiracy, and there was forced thresholding involved it finally made sense...except for the part about time travel. If the bad guy has the ability why hasn't he used it to control everything.

Moan Two decides to just make everyone miserable because she now feeds on dark emotions. She could just keep Raiden angry and miserable for food, but then she decides "screw it, I'm just gonna do a big reveal to people who are obviously gonna try to save Raiden, putting my meal in peril unnecessarily.

This is obviously ignoring the fact that in a world where an entire species is often used as sex slaves and abused heavily, there should be plenty of misery to feed on.

Time to binge read another classic.

since you are clearly writing again, might i make a suggestion? could you possibly redo this fic in some way? to be honest this version of the fic is a colossal mess, it shifts gears and directions so many times that you cant tell what is going on from one chapter to the next. there are so many shifts in plot direction that trying to comprehend the actual underlying story goal is downright headache inducing.

the thing is, prior to introducing Tora and the timeshift, this fic was actually on a solid heading. the plot was good, the characters were believable, and the story had a genuine feeling of an epic adventure tale. then you add in Tora and them travelling back in time to Konoha, and everything starts going downhill.

so please, if you are up to it, redo this fic. maybe have Konoha survive and some of the others from later in follow naruto. but most important of all, drop the Sukebe clone and Raiden from the fic. those 2 elements and the subsequent plot twists they generate are half the problem with this fic. they over complicate the plot and make the story hard to follow.

also by eliminating the time shift, Ino can keep her name, and events are no longer as confusing.

the time travel bit is the point where the story derails, eliminate that, and rework some of the opening details, such as Konoha's destruction? and this fic could have a solid foundation. both the first iteration on the boat prior to meeting Tora, and the final version with the rebuilding of Pallet town, are the most stable, so combine them together, and you have an actual solid story to work with. just lose the whole cloning issue, the world ending plot, and Raiden. do that? and this fic could THRIVE.

That’s not how time travel works. You’re creating a horrible time paradox.

damnit. your story is amazing and you don't finish the story.

CH 21 That was intresting. Please update.

you just killed your story good job dipshit

You probably don't know this, but maybe someone has told you before. Haru does not mean sun. It means spring, as in the season spring. So Haru Tenshi would mean spring angel, not sun angel.