MurakixTsuzuki good yaoi paring

This is the first Descendants of Darkness Fan-fiction I have ever read. AND IT THE AWESOMEST EVER! I hope you dont think I'm an idiot for saying this but I love this anime so much and I just had to read a fan fiction about it. Once again, this story was awesome!

Oh my god he... is...screwed. figurativly as well a literaly

*blush blush blush*

ah classic...what? EH I FEEL ON DRUGS? what why cant I make any sence? your fanfiction blew up my MIND! ah I wish I had enough brain power left to type out a coherent message...BUT YOU BLEW IT UPP! I cant even spell things right anymoore!

The only thing i didn't like in the past two chapters is the lack of plot and detail.

I understand that Tsuzuki is sick-no indication as to what illness he had or what might have led up to it or even people other than Hisoka noticing it.

And then the lemon/rape scene you injected...We get the basics of what happened because there was slightly more detail but there needs to be more thoughts in the characters as well.

I see that you put at the beginning of the chapter "Normal POV".

But just because its a normal pov doesn't mean that the details should be almost nonexistent. Try taking it slow and letting the plot and tension build up and then the lemon will be so much better because you have more than just a visit to the doctor to build up on.

But then again you could also just want this to be a short, sweet, porn-in-the-form-of-words kinda thing..;; If thats the case then I guess you can just kinda go with the flow or something...

Well I hope my critique can help you out, it certainly isn't my intention to badmouth your writing or skills as a writer. I just wanted to share some knowledge.

I also think that this is single handedly the longest review that I have ever written. :D

ROFL, the ending was hilarious, despite the fact that Tsuzuki got deflowered. Reminds me of Frank McCourt (may God rest his soul in peace), the way he turned his tragic parts of his life into 2 golden books: Angela's Ashes and 'Tis.

Aww, poor Tsuzuki-kun... how unlucky for him, I know I would do the same thing if I found out that Orochi (from the King of Fighters '97) was my doctor, and hide myself

The story was quite short, maybe needed more talking and tension between Muraki and Tszuki. U captured the characters very well though and the ending was funny XD

Go! Hurry write more! Now do as I say!

wow. Um. So did not expect that... well, I did except for the part where the sex suddenly turned into outright rape. Cause um. Yeah. And well, the last chapter was just a bit special... very special. The dude was just raped and he jokes with Hisoka just like that. And uh, Hisoka can't read minds, he can sense other peoples emotions. Other than that there was no real characterisation of the characters, they were just there and acted out a play like puppets. I dunno, I can't say I think this was a very good story, sorry. You have plenty of potential in your writing, but the story and characterisation needs more work, even if it's just smut it's still important.

That was quite expected. This is the first Yami no Matsuei fanfic that I'll be reading so I hope it can give me what I'm expecting from a good fanfic. I'll be reading the next chapter then! :)

lol, nice, it was good...

funny end and a pretty good rape scene if I...uh...I mean, eh heh heh! Well, uh, anyways it was good!

Your story is amazing! You wrote Muraki's character perfectly! He's my fave, along wiht Tsuzuki of course! Great Job!

OMG! THAT WAS AMZING! You're a very tallented writer.

Ohohoho... that was... yummy. *drools* MuTsu forever! _