You hit it out of the park with this one.

I love the little insights into the world and its character, such as Hidan ranting about the difference between the small roadside god and his out-loud faith in Jashin or the way he falls apart and then rages at his own vulnerability after a moment of intimacy, but this story really succeeds on the prose. It feels less like a story and more like an experience. There's a dream-like quality to your words and your rhythm.

Yugito's capture and execution is such a small thing in the original manga, but you've made a fascinating character piece out of it. Stuff like this is what fanfiction is for. You made the Naruto world feel bigger and stranger than ever.

I love the way this reads more like a meditation than a traditional narrative.

In fact, the only thing I hate about this story is that it had to end.

reading on

This whole story gave me chills. I love your writing style, it fits so perfectly for these characters, Hidan especially, in my opinion. It really pulled me into the story and I felt sort of disconnected with my world once I was finished reading. I also like how lonely the story felt despite the constant proximity of the three characters. Kakuzu's death was also A well written.
I'm so glad you wrote about Yugito! She's such a beautiful and under-appreciated character.
Thank you for writing and sharing this!

Wow just wow I love this so much

So you'll probably never read this because it looks like your account is pretty inactive. But on the off-chance that you do, someday, I just want you to know how magnificent I think this piece is. I hope that wherever you are now, it involves writing, because you are damn good at it.

Your writing is so densely metaphorical, every other line could be something from a poem. I don't know if you intended it or not, but several scenes have this super cool telescopic effect, where we start zoomed in on something (Yugito's profile for example) and then zoom out to find out what's actually happening in the scene.

I searched for something with Yugito and Hidan/Kakuzu because I was thinking of writing one myself (I like weird ships), but, knowing that this amazing thing exists, I think I won't. Or, if I do, I'll have to cite this as inspiration, because wow. Your characterizations are so spot on, so dark, but so correct. There are so many lines that I loved - her being like an icicle and melting and reshaping, Kakuzu's line about how at his age everything reminds him of something else, that splendid asshole Hidan.

Seriously a great story.

Absolutely loved this.

Beautiful. One of the best pieces I've read in a while.

And. . .I'm thrilled. The devil is certainly in the details of this one. Yugito is dead before she's dead; but certainly alive. Then 'she's dead.' But in death she is alive; in pyschedelic, technicolor memories. Hidan seems frustrated; like his god has failed him, but he would sooner become dust than admit it. Kakuzu's reaction to Yugito is not-quite-like an oenophile (sp?) sipping a class of particularly good vino, enjoying it, savoring it, but knowing that the glass will be empty in the end. It's sort of wry; but bitter. He seems to take pleasure in fucking with Hidan's head about it all.

This chapter I deemed the Unraveling in my head; because at the end everyone laid bare; especially with Kakuzu. Once again: you've made me VERY interested in a character who is not as nuanced in canon.

Sorry if this review makes little sense. I have no excuse. I'm just delighted.

I'm seriously loving Kakuzu in this. Yugito, too. Hidan. . . well, he's enjoyable. But I don't like him in general, so it doesn't really matter whether I like him or not.

I love how Kakuzu's age/experience/wisdom plays an integral part in the narrative. Most people seem to gloss over that very important part of his character.

This is honestly the best character study/fic in general of Kakuzu (and Hidan). I love his musings on memory; and the fruit-choosing scene is so ripe with characterization among other things, old vs. young, man vs. nature, etc. I feel like I'm pigeon-holing it. There's a lot more to it I can't describe.

Powerful! I am in awe of the way you write these characters and the relationships with eachother and themselves... both completely in character, but also in a way that is so much more amazing. I could read this forever... I hope you post more.

god i love this

its wonderful

this deserves more love than its gotten

plz plz PLZ continue it!

I like Kakuzu's little self debate- I often do that with myself when I'm picking out fruits, too. BTW, the persimmons are perfect this time of year.

...Great Great Great. I wish this had more reveiws. Please update soon.

Great job, very beautiful. I could almost taste the fruit :)

This was so powerful. I just love how you portray Kakuzu. Somehow, it's so REAL. Raw, deep, the imagery is perfect.

It's a pity there aren't any reviews, this story has real promise. I look forward to when Yugito enters the picture.

~Jen