It started off well, but I get the feeling as if there's a chapter or few missing..? Starting from around the time Charlie was taken. If I'm wrong, nevermind.

You asked how your readers knew that it was Don that took the fall.

You didn't write it. But you didn't specifically not write it, and anyone who has watched the show knows that there will never be a time when Don would not protect Charlie. There will never be a time when Don sees a bullet or a gun and doesn't jump in front of Charlie, vest or no vest. Because Don is a protector, and more than that, he's Charlie's Big Brother, capitals absolutely intended.

You didn't say it was Charlie that got shot, and Don frantically trying to stop the bleeding while dialing 911, so we all assumed that Charlie's squished under a bleeding Don, because the default is Don protects Charlie from physical harm. And either Charlie's passed out from the pain in his back (burns hurt! even more when pressure is applied) or the bloody fingers are his, and Don's passed out from shock and or blood loss already.

I didn't see that coming at all!

you did a great job :)

Interesting story. Thanks, Beth

I just atrated reading this and it's awsome by the way, but one thing pushed this chapter to awsomeness. You used one of my favorite poems of all time. This Wordsworth poem and The Raven are my two favorites. Thank you for using it and I have a feeling I'm going to be squeling in joy the furthur I read.

Good job I'm really enjoying reading!

Cool. I can't think of anything original sounding, but I really did enjoy this.

Can't remember which chapter it was, but one of them made me go absolutely icy cold. In that it was really well written and... I can't remember exactly why, though I know it was one of your earlier chapters, but it's the exact reaction I get when I'm really into the story and something drastic happens. Not sure if you can translate that, as it's one in the morning here and I'm short of sleep, but it's a good thing.

Also, I loved "Don was doing what Don did best — sneaking". It made me laugh. It's funny because it's true. :)

Anywho. Yeah. Ahem. Good stuff!

Love this story. emotional, exciting, suspense, drama, lots of hurt and some suffering. Well let just say it has about everything. Grea story, you've got some real talent for numb3rs fic's.

Very well writen I love it it's great the structer is fantastic.

Stick with Numb3rs!

i really shouldn't be reading this... what with all the college shootings, and KU and KSTATE both having sustained extensive damage from tornados this past year, and I'm going to college in a month... i really don't think college sounds all that safe.

what the hell, at least this is a great story! But sheesh! why'd ya have to hit a college campus during the summer with students there?

well, i will say one thing, you sure know how to create cliffhangers.

gr, i hate logging in. *wagging finger* ur story started out great, so i complied with logging in, but it better continue to be fabulous! (lol).

very well written right now, I am really enjoying this, and very nice cliff hanger!

though I have one complaint, Charlie's theory on the increase of temperautre and attention span is only half right.

student's attnetion span is directly related to the absolute value of the difference of the regular temperature to the current.

in other words, at my school, attention can stray just as easily in the classes where the AC is broke as well as the ones where the heater is on the brinks again in the winter... br!

This was excellent. I love your turn of phrase, the sarcasm and witty comments was great. Just one complaint and it is not against you, I couldn't load chapter 9 where the FBI office gets shot up and Charlie taken. But even without that chapter it was wonderful. Keep going with Numb3rs please!

Howdy,

So I read from like chapter 12 to 18 in one shot, because I finally had a moment. You were right - the scenarios degenerated into a total "24" adrenaline rush - but it was still a lot of fun. Again, I have to give you props for the "well-written comic book" undertones of your descriptions, and in general, the wording of the action scenes was handled very well, with a skillful economy of language. The plot was ... convoluted. And it moved really fast. But that's okay! Keeps the brain working. I like stuff like that.

As for ER, my advice is to just do whatever you want. Adulation and reviews from your peers are great, but ultimately you must write for yourself. ;)

Kiki

Loved the story!

As to your question, combine them. Use the Numb3rs story with the ER people as necessary. (I don't really watch ER but it should work)((Don/Colby/David/Liz gets shot and are taken to the hospital where they meet all the wonderful characters from ER))