This is excellent on so many levels: Sam struggling with Ava's disappearance; Dean still rocked by John's death; Dean's disassociated violence and shocky aftermath; and Sam revealing his devastation

the big bro wardrobe assistance and cemetery surveillance;

Drugged Sam and Alerted Dean ! Lovely!

Oh Sam... I do wonder how these guys could give Sam the drug? Sam was that stressed and accept it willingly?

And…there. He stepped back to admire his handiwork. Sam didn't have to know that it was still easier for Dean to tie one of those stupid nooses on someone else than it was on himself.

"That was—" before you went into silent-running mode on me "—before you lost your cool with a tie, man.

It was empty and quiet. Not that Sam had exactly been a chatterbox the last few days, but his presence still filled the place somehow, or at least the empty spots in Dean.

But he didn't ask, and Dean was a big fan of don't ask, don't tell.

Man, it's always these humans that Sam and Dean have to watch out for. You never know when they'll do something incredibly... stupid. XP The language of loss here, though, in so many different forms, was really strong and effective.

What else can I say but awwwww? This was too cute!

I just adore Dean going apeshit to protect Sammy, clearing out half a dozen idiots, at least two of them being not-so-small. The guilt he feels (because, hey, it's Dean and when DOESN'T he) about everything, the way he sets his own everything aside to focus on Sam, I love the image of him sitting by Sam's bed with his fingers on his brother's pulse point. Being so supportive of Sam before the funeral, doing his tie up and talking all gentle. I LOVE when he does the gentle talk thing, makes me melt. I think he handled it remarkably well when Sam wasn't answering his phone after 5 hours - considering what they'd just gone through. Dean's story about learning to tie ties made me smile. I have to wonder what was going through Sam's head when he noticed Dean's wrecked up knuckles.

I think my second favourite part (behind Dean kicking ass through a haze of rage to save Sam) was Dean laying on Sam's bed smelling the shampoo on the pillowcase - Sam home. That was a gorgeous moment.

Once again, awesome stuff!

LD

Love i Poor Sam, I can definitely see him acting like this after what his father said...

Great writing! D

Good story. I liked the way you dealt with all the issues/after-effects of Ava's death. My favourite part, though, were some of the last few lines:

"Another moment, and Sam got quiet. "Or maybe he just trusted you to do the right thing."

Dean blinked. Stared at him a long few seconds, wondering if he was talking about what Dean thought he was talking about. If I couldn't save you, I'd have to kill you. That Dean would save him. That that was what Dad had always expected. That maybe even that was why he'd chosen Dean over himself."

I hadn't thought of that aspect before and I quite like it. At any rate, nice work!

Excellent job! You do a great job drawing the readers into the story; I am surprised to realize Sam's struggling with a tie. I am delighted at the image of Dean tieing his tie for him, and that he taught Sam to do so, way back in middle school. I love the idea of Sam going to Ava's fiance's funeral.

Excellent job on characterization, especially the boys' voices. It truly sounded like the characters talking. The writing's superb, as well; I love the repetitive chorus of "adjective/expletive demons", with a new word added on every time.

I love how you've portrayed Dean's protective streak and his own need for stability-curling up to the smell of Sam's shampoo, and then sleeping next to his brother when they get back.

Kudos on getting to the heart of Sam's issues. I hadn't really made the association that John might have killed Sam had it come down to it, or at least, that Sam might think he would. And great job on Dean's realization that John saved him so he might save Sam. It's given me a bit of food for thought.

Once again, great job! :)

Whew! Pissed off big brother to the rescue. Kind of felt sorry for those guys; they had no idea whose little brother they were about to do whatever it was they were going to do. Too bad for them. Wow!

Nicely done. Nice brother stuff. :)

Such a well-written story. Angsty and sweet without getting out of character, and just a great read. Awesome.

So sweet and achingly sad. Definitely a favorite for me. I love incapacitated Sammy!

**“No,” Sam spat in the exact same tone he’d just used to, Dean was pretty sure, malign the virtue of some hapless tailor’s bloodline.**

Lol!

I loved your descriptions of Sam fumbling with his tie. You seem to pick unusual words that combine perfectly to create easy visuals-I'm so envious.

I also loved the spacing and elaboration of Dean's "friggin' demons" lines. It very much sounds like something he would have going through his head as he thumps the steering wheel a few times. ;)

**“Dean.” And there was a world in that one word, the huge eyes that tried to focus on him.

Dean yanked him forward, one hand twisted in the soft hair at the nape of Sam’s neck, the other flat across his back, his chin digging into Sam’s shoulder. So close. So—his mind provided a dozen expletives—close.**

This twisted my stomach into knots. I'm hardly knowledgeable in drugs and what they do to you, but Dean's freak-out and the NFL dudes carting Sam away made it easy enough to connect the dots. Dean actually being shaken up (emotionally and literally) was what really brought this story home for me. When Sam's down and there's no one to see, the fact that his hands were actually shaking gave my heart a very solid twist. And Sam's own heartache over his father's secret was very poignant-no wonder the kid went to get drunk with a devil-may-care mentality.

It’s taken me a while to review this one, simply because the thought of putting into words everything I admired about it was daunting. Let me just say that it’s full of action, twists (never did I think when Sam was flipping out about his tie that the story would end with him being roofied), and a healthy dose of angsty, brotherly love. Just the way I like ‘em. ;)

Only Sam would go out, hurt because he thinks his dad would have killed him, and manage to get drugged by a bunch of preppy jerks. And only Dean would react the way he did, and take care of Sam, and reassure him in more-or-less straightforward terms-but without the actual heart-to-heart. :)

Good job!

Great fic! It is so nice to read/see Sam's thoughts/angst here. We know he's been through so much and you beautifully explored how it is taking its toll on our youngest Winchester. I absolutely love Dean in this piece. He is such a great big bro the way you wrote him- so aware, so wanting to help, but respecting Sam's wishes,then finally pushing past them to find out what is wrong. I love that he reassured Sam his dad loved him and how they both could agree that sometimes John was a "bastard". Loved how you explored Sam's feelings about his dad saying he might need to be killed. This so needed to be at least touched on in the series and it was wonderful you addressed it. It so had to hurt Sam. Sure he was fearful of what it meant, but also had to feel pained by his dad's words.

Also loved big bro Dean finding Sam and "taking care" of the preppies trying to take advantage of him. I miss this wonderful big bro Dean this season and hope we'll see more of him after Christmas!

Great read! Thanks for sharing your creative genius with us again! I so look forward to your writing!

Great job. And the whole "Do you know where your kids are?" remidned me of the old John Walsh commericals. Great job. Keep it up in other stories. Catch ya on the flip side.