Well, for the sake of being constructive, I'll state the stuff that might need working on.

Language is a slight issue, but I know English is not your main language, so it's understandable. Your vocabulary and list of words used really improves, so you just need to work on grammar and which words to use at which times. Not to worry, though. Your story is understandable and we can get what you mean.

It might be good to provide a little insight into each of the other supporting Jedi at the end, even if they're there for just two or three chapters. Working on providing a little depth, even if it's only for just a little while, helps the reader connect to the characters, even if you're aiming to make it a simple operation.

The ending's a little dark, but I suppose that's what you were aiming for. Although it makes sense in the end, it might help to expand and show some signs of Tahura's mental damage now and then in between the other parts to show a progression. I'd suggest adding her thoughts in-between instead of showing all the results only after the rescue.

Overall, although I was a little confused from time to time, it was an enjoyable story. You had a good idea of where you wanted to go with the plot and know how to develop the main characters well enough (I think I liked the villain's development even if it was only for a few paragraphs). It's a good sort of short criminal thriller with a tragic end. Hope to see your Clone Wars story, as that's my favourite part of the Star Wars saga!

Still like it. Can't wait to read the next chapter. _

You got someone besides me to review!

You had several mistakes. I was having a bit of trouble following it anyway because of the military discussion, so this didn't help. I won't go back and find them all, but I'll explain one thing. When one person is talking for several paragraphs, you put quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph (and not at the end until the person has stopped talking). But I understood what you did.

please continue! i really want to know what happens next!

Why am I the only person who reviews?

What happened to your quotation marks? I don't remember them being weird before.

And... changing perspective is a bit confusing.

A few things:

*Don't put a comma in front of "that."

*People grind teeth, not grip them.

*We like long chapters... but at least it was something!

*In your summary, you call her "an unknown Jedi." That makes her sound like she isn't identified in your story or something. Just put "a Jedi." There were far, far more Jedi in the galaxy than we ever hear about.

This is a good start. I didn't guess that you aren't a native speaker. Everyone has a few mistakes.

The first two paragraphs are in the present and the rest of it tells the story behind them, right? You should have a line to show that you've shifted the time. I was a bit confused. Also, the rating should be K at least, judging from the summary.