Not gonna lie. Winry is kinda getting on my nerves

this was so-...GREAT!

Oh my god this story is so great so far lol I know I'm reading this in like 2020 but still. anyway, keep up the great work!. PS: can you make another season of this fanfic?. . . . 2# PS: I really hope you read this.

*looks at the chapter title* Ah damn! -_-

Yeah...Oni-chan would mean demon-chan...

It was okay. Definitely could be better, needed some major editing though. More than for just grammar and misspelled words. There were some places that needed another sentence or paragraph, and others that were really cringe worthy. The story itself though is very good.

Ed could still work under Roy as his subordinate you know. It's not implausible.

Let me just start by saying that for not being a native speaker, your English isn't that bad. It's actually quite good, and certainly interesting. However, there are quite a lot of mistakes, like Edward holding a carpet (which confused me a lot - you probably meant paper[s]) and punctuation errors. And the Second Lieutenant's first name is Maria, not Marcia.
On another note, please don't use gratuitous Japanese. It is somewhat detracting. From what I understand, you are Spanish, and so you have no reason to insert Japanese into your writing. Also, what you use is somewhat wrong. I'm no Japanese expert, but from what I know, dad is written as tousan or otousan, if you're being formal and polite. Also, suffixes like '-san' do not need to be capitalized.
I hope you correct these mistakes, because I like this story (Parental!RoyEd is life) and it deserves to be polished to perfection.

Awwww this was an awesome fan-fiction! I'm kinda sad to see it go...

Best fanfic every! U r a genius!

you japanese is poor... Otoosan? really? Otou (father) san (honourific) people normally put a dash between the suffixes/honorifics to differentiate between the e.g -san -kun -chan -sama -dono -sempai etc and you dont need to capitalise them but please at least spell otousan right or better yet just use chichi-ue you cannot get that wrong, i stopped reading because this is quite painful, too much dialogue and where the fuck is alphonse? if he pops up in a later chapter i didn't read it but still. And before you bitch back at me for being anonymous and not writing a story i'm gonna tell you i did cos i did, it sucked but i still tried and i'm fucking fourteen but i can be a decent critic. So baka yarou, my rant is over... be glad cos i barely ever take the time to verbally lash people like this... i know i'm being harsh and don't let this discourage you from writing but please...fix up or i'll beat the black out of you which would be pointless if you're white but whatever. Later bitch!

FFN cut off that last part of my review.
"otoosan" wouldn't make any kind of sense in Japanese. Just FYI.

Honorifics in Japanese are never capitalized. And "father" is "otou-san" ”おとおさん”

Hiho,
I just wanted to tell you: Nice fic! Although there are a few... well... a few more... grammar mistakes (well, I'm also no nativ speaker, but it's kind of... flashy ') it's fun to read. I liked your plot a lot. At first it were a little strange, Ed adopted so young, Winry beeing Fuhrers doughter, but it's AU isn't it?
I enjoyed reading your fic a lot and take my hat off to you.
Greetings,
IsumiChi

yay
very good till the end XD