Cool story line. I have spotted a few errors here and there but it's nothing major, and you can easily fix it. In fact, it's probably not enough to even worry about fixing. I like where the story is going so don't go getting bored and quit on us! lol! You've done a fine job.

The only real thing that concerns me is this young girl...I'm not against bringing in new chicks into the fic for John to wanna love, but let's not make this another teen drama where he perverts his way into the heart of a kid. I've seen a lot of people make that mistake. Since this takes place before Angela comes into the story, maybe you can build on a new femine fatal that is more in his age group and maybe this teen girl can meet Chas or something...?

Anyway keep up the good work and be sure to read and review my new Constantine mini saga.

uh...she's got a 2006 nissan but it's five or seven years before the movie...right? i may be wrong but i think the film took place around the car's year model...maybe you got ahead of yourself.

i like this though...good story so far. get it finished kay?

sweet! i love this!

hope you update soon!

love much, keep writing, and may the force be with you!

Whoa, I certainly didn't expect to get an update so soon! But I'm glad you did. I still love it, and I really enjoy your writing style.

Hope another update comes just as quickly as this one!

I see it's been a while since this was posted, but I think it's a great beginning. The Bethany character is very intriguing, and I'd love to read more if you get around to writing/posting more!

this is a very good, interesting start. i'm curious to see where it'll go, especially to get a better feel for what kind of person beth is. you wrote john very well, for as short as this was. can't wait to see what happens next! UPDATE SOON!