I've always liked this. I think your writing is excellent.

Wow, this is positively brilliant - chilling, I think, would be the most fitting word, and definitely prompted me to think about Lily's character a bit more. Lily Evans is perhaps one of my all-time favourite Harry Potter characters (there are so many characters I adore in the series though so it's rather hard to be sure) and I am hugely protective of her and I almost take it personally when people write her as a complete and utter Mary-Sue, or a thoroughly boring individual, or a girl who simply blows up at James Potter all the time - and generally in these fics, James is hero-worshiped by the author and utterly glorified. I love James, but I think people forget that he had flaws which irritates me to no end. Here, however - oh god, this was such a brilliant Lily! This is honestly the first time I've ever read - or even seen - dark!Lily and it was just so original and her character was genuinely so strong throughout the entire fic. I loved the structure of it, and I think the first section was my favourite, perhaps because something similar to me happened once - I was sparring with my cousin and she accidentally stuck the stick she was using in my eye. Inevitably, I was sped off to hospital, and typically, I showed off for all I was worth and dramatized the story and hurt her horribly by telling everyone in the family about it and painting her as a total villain (I was an unbearable child).

I loved Lily's dynamic with Snape, as well - James/Lily is my ultimate pairing of all pairings, but I have such an interest in Lily/Snape, Lily/Sirius and Lily/Remus (I'll get back to those later!). Your sections which involved Lily and Severus as children were beautiful and they just really worked and stayed true to what we saw of those characters in their younger years and their friendship dynamic. You portrayed Severus perfectly - he's a hard character to balance and I think people need to remember he wasn't always the cold, sneering bully that he was in the Harry Potter books. As we saw in the chapter the Prince's Tale, Sev had quite a sweet side around Lily, and treated her quite above others. I think Snape's Worst Memory, the chapter in the fifth book, also contributed to how I see Snape as a boy and a teenager; longing to be cool and yet never quite making it; easily jealous and vindictive; weak and miserable and often expecting attack due to his parents' poor treatment of him; yearning for people to realise that he was special and clever and just as good as James Potter. I think James could've been a nice guy and Sev would've hated him for his good looks, his happy home, his confidence, his talent, the fact that everyone liked him. Although, of course, James was utterly horrible to Severus, and I see no problem in Sev hating James; I'd hate someone who hung me upside down, too.

Which brings me onto the one part of the oneshot I did not very much like - I'm sorry, I wasn't a huge fan of James hugging Lily on the train! I just felt that it wasn't very canon-compliant. I think that it was shown very clearly in the books that whilst James may have been decent underneath it all, he was a bit of a prat when he was younger and I'd have preferred it if you'd have shown him developing into a nicer, mature guy and then having that sort of scene when they were older rather than when they were only eleven. It just didn't seem fully right with me, I'm afraid. Other than that, I loved the characterization of James! Although James was arrogant, and did bully Snape, I've always loved him, and I'm not sure why (in fairness, Snape was just as bad in other ways - actually, worse - but I'm not excusing James and I'm getting off the point) and I think you created a really brilliant James Potter, and I enjoyed the fact that you made Lily the centre of the story rather than LilyandJames, and they tend to just get shoved together.

And then the Lily/Sirius and Lily/Remus dynamics - always one of my favourite parts in Marauder-esque stories! I think because we never really see Remus and Sirius interacting with Lily in any of the Pensieve moments. But they were brilliant here, and really stayed in-character, with the Lily/Sirius trumping the Lily/Remus just because I loved how you included that Sirius would see right through Lily, and James doesn't.

I thought it was super chilling but utterly brilliant, about Sev testing his spells on himself and then Lily getting carted of to St Mungo's. Wow, man, that was brilliant - I think so many writers on do exactly what everyone else does (particularly Marauder Era ones, I find) and the stories tend to follow the exact same pattern but this was brilliant and original and a fabulous take on Lily. Made my heart swell with love for her, to be honest! Please keep writing, this was great and you've obviously got a natural talent for it.

This was brilliant. Chilling. Amazing. Well I loved it.

Wow, this was just an amazing story! Every part of it was perfectly described and developed and original.

wow. amazing story

I really love this, honestly. I think it's very interesting how you portray Lily not as the perfect angel everyone else seems to see her as, but as a real person with faults. Not to mention someone who dabbles in Dark Magic :O

Tis good :) xxx

Awww...That is amazingly dark and AWESOME. :D

That's amazing!

I'm reading so much more LJ recently, it's not even funny...

oh well, it's, yet again, brilliant writing, and I can't wait to read your future works D

Amazing. I would love to read a fic written by you that goes from 1st to 7th year. You are amazing. Thank you.

It is interesting seeing Lily from an angle that shows her as dark (but still canonical). I liked the last line a lot, and the second-person narration.

Really interesting story! I love reading different characterizations than normal. Great job.

Wow, that's a really interesting view of Lily (love her "dark" side) it's so canon but also not the usual, and I love it.

i think its very intresting, and characteristic in a way, that you have lily dabbling in the dark arts... i liked it a lot

This was a nice oneshot about Lily Evans. It was a great change in Lily's character-to tell you the truth, I was getting kind of sick of reading about the same, headstrong, caring, always-on-the-right-side Lily. So this was a highly facinating read!

Interesting take. Most people portray lily as a saint to it was nice to read this. Harry's always had a fear of his potential to be dark and I think it makes more sense that he inherited that potential from Lily as James always seemd so balack and white. Your Lily has some serious grey.