| Reviews for The Dark Wars: Empire's Plight |
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Last Harper chapter 12 . 6/23 I've really enjoyed reading this, well done. As a side note take a look at the use of Buck and Ball, ammo at the Sunken Lane during the American Civil War. |
Monster King chapter 12 . 3/20/2018 Great story I really liked it good job writing the story. |
The Feisty Rogue chapter 4 . 12/22/2016 And he wonders why they don't trust him indeed. |
The Feisty Rogue chapter 2 . 12/22/2016 Dumbledore disgusts me. |
kim2012 chapter 9 . 8/7/2016 You're a real fan of the Sharpe series, huh? |
Dionysus013 chapter 2 . 12/23/2015 I read that Harry was put in charge of 15000 men and i was ready to leave. Then I should also mention that the romance novel style writing made this so boring. Neat concept, felled by foolish execution. |
BenignViewer chapter 6 . 7/23/2015 I know this story is years and years old now, and you have probably already learnt this and greatly improved, but some constructive criticism for this chapter nonetheless is: You could use more 'show' and less 'tell' story telling. When you were describing Harry's appearance previously you used the 'tell' style a lot, and it's less interesting and engaging than demonstrating these things. Don't indicate "Flashbacks" verbatim in a story. Also try to avoid using the same noun in a sentence. Instead, for example doing something like this: '...searing pain shot through his head, making him wince as he [clutched it]. He had the strangest sensation of falling even though he was now standing before a familiar scene...' [insert flashback here.] 'He shook his head of the muddled images, immediately regretting it as the pain again* returned to the fore...' *Using "again" here is optional; it's whether or not you wish to imply that Harry has had the flashbacks before/regularly or if it's his first one. It is a detail that this scene has the opportunity to show us more about Harry without it being told. All that said this is a wonderful story, and I am greatly enjoying, and very interested by, the universe you have created for your Dark Wars universe. |
biblioholic chapter 7 . 11/28/2014 Are there no women soldiers in the army? |
Sammyboy94 chapter 12 . 10/29/2014 Love it |
rlchala chapter 12 . 8/25/2014 You had me hooked by just reading the summary. The brief historical records at the beg fining of each chapter are a brilliant and fun idea. Although there wasn't much time for character development, you did wanders in creating and giving depth to your universe. I'll be starting the next installment soon |
Sirwalterbeck chapter 6 . 8/9/2014 by chance did you happen to read the Bernard Cornwell series which also happened to feature a rifleman called Sharpe? i do enjoy a good war story and a cunning general is a wonderful bonus. |
Tifah 98 chapter 6 . 7/20/2014 U r an AMAZING WRITER"! I soooooo love how u portray harry"! Plus im a BIG fan of harryxginny :) Also I love that little war song at the end I memorized it! |
Sammyboy94 chapter 5 . 4/30/2014 I understand the import the ME bullet plays in the story. But a normal 5.56mm from an M-16 or a 7.62 from an M-14 will still kill anything within 500 meters wizard or not. |
FinalGuardian chapter 3 . 12/21/2013 SHARPE! XD HAHA! My favorite fictional military character. |
sunneedee chapter 7 . 12/7/2013 Marvellous writing, wonderful battle scenes. If only the plot was better. The blind patriotism is starting to make me twitch. |