A little more detail would be nice it felt a bit choppy but overall a decent start.

Not what I expected. At least the Tok'ra will live on! A good read. Not to mention a bit different.

All well, that ends well.

There too mach going on in this chapter, it needs to be longer for all that is in it. I cannot tell how is good and who is bad. But over all not bad and the Tok'ra so need a Queen.

Ooh. Interesting. I like the original characters, and the idea of another tok'ra queen isn't exactly overused in the fanfic.

Interesting so far and I'm still following it. Glad to see Marotuf and, hopefully, Lantash, in the story as well as Jacob and Selmak. I like what you've written so far, but I'd really like to see you slow it down a little and flesh out the scenes a little more. Flesh out the characters that we don't know a little more. It is very fast-paced, and you've given your readers a LOT of new characters, but not much time to learn exactly who they are and get to know them. Feel free to send me a message through from my bio if you want to. Looking forward to the next chapter. Pagan

intresting kep going i wanna know more

much love, i was thinking that a good plot like this hasn't been used in a long while (to my knowledge0 neway, love it, its a brilliant start, can't wait for the next installments

This is really good and I want to see where you take this story line.

Okay. One, Tok'Ra don't whine. Two, to make it interesting to those of us that like the Tok'Ra, I'd bring in Malek, Martouf/Lantash, Anise, Garshaw, Jacob, etc... A Sam/Lantash/Martouf pairing is always a good idea. Your main action is going to be your hunt for Ares. You should bring a couple of the group back in, though, perhaps the ones that are just "missing". Anyway, those are the things that would keep me reading. Pagan.

a very good iddea

id love to read more

i cant think of any thiong you could add but id be intrested to see what hamond think of it or the tocra (id keep anise out of it she is a stinker )