VERY GOOD!

A nice little start to an ARC Slyrr, and I enjoyed it very much.

I'll be reading the others as I can.

ST-103

Way indeed.

ST-103

This is ok story for Kim possible. I think of team probable as bad guys that are like team possible in there own way. I like to know that back ground with them. Maybe I might learn that in other parts of your story. I know that this something that will not follow the whole series of Kim possible but something new. Nice job with team go as well. Hope you like the review. Your artwork is beyond cool! To be honest I do wish that Ron would fight those two aliens like he did in grad E.P of K.P. Maybe it might happen in series maybe it might not only you will know. Eric is always be lesson that Kim had to learn to be better person that she is in the last season of t.v series. I hope that Kim and Ron be married in future in your stories series. Keep up the good work!

So, having read this again...

I'll be blunt: As it's own story, it's good but ultimately it's not something to come back to. But I don't think that's a problem… in context of all your stories, it has one job: Introduce Team Probable. And it does that job quite well - it gives us a look at them that’s broad and basic, giving us the hook to follow up on the other stories. It’s not the story that’s supposed to make your set of fics, it’s the story that gives us the backdrop for the stuff you really want to do to work so you don’t have to spend time introducing them.

On Probable vs Possible: I do think that you misbalanced them at first. I understand what you were going for - someone who could fluster Kim to the state she is in Chapter 4 - but I think that you just didn’t give enough hints that Kim had a chance. I mean if you didn’t have Chapter 4 as it was you could just have Grimm run out the timer, but keeping it as it is… I dunno maybe just Grimm takes a hit or two when he goes on the offense. Mostly because even when Kim suffered her worst defeats as long as they didn’t gloss over the fight Kim at least got one or two hits back on whoever defeated her.

I do find it ironic that in this story, Kim’s victory over Grimm relies on playing with his head. Given later stories you’d imagine the dynamic would be reversed - Grimm has to dig into Kim’s head to disorient her so he can take the lead. Of course I do think it hurts the balance that this was a one off that in the end really all played more towards Grimm’s favor - he didn’t even go to jail, got to get a last word in against Kim, and hooked up with Rhonda. Bruised ego and dignity aside, I’d say he probably came out pretty well. Mind you also had Grimm go completely stomped there, but given he had just been disoriented, fear about Rhonda (the way he said it you’d think they had put her in a shark pool), as well as just being dogpiled by two people who can handle him.

Anyways, while doing this read I noticed some things:
First a lot of minor typos. May want to go over it again and fix them if you ever feel like doing something to remind yourself of what you had done prior and to clean it up for first time readers. Second I noticed that you mis-referenced to a lot of things - particularly in chapter two. “Celebrity Search” instead of “American Starmaker”, “Banana Republic” instead of “Club Banana”, and even called Bueno Nacho “Bueno Naco” at one point. Rather jarring given how normally you’re probably one of the most meticulous authors about handling the canon properly.

Then there’s some things that seem real odd given later stories; I know this was before you really developed Team Probable as more than just alignment (and gender flipped) versions of Team Possible, but among the things I noticed:
First, Wade getting a picture of Grimm to photoshop. Was that meant to be an actual image of him from the base security cameras, or did he just chop something together based on Kim and ron’s descriptions that was enough to surprise Rhonda but once looked at closely clearly wasn’t Grimm? If it was a camera shot, that’s rather glaring given Grimm’s later legal defenses...

Second, Team Probable’s website being easily found by Wade. Given the later deniability (esp. with Riddleton’s security), does it just not have images of them or is it run through a couple dozen filters so it doesn’t trace back. Likewise Wade being able to trace back to Jade and flat out get her IP address, though at least there maybe you could argue it was through the Safford and later Drakken’s systems.

Third, Kamp Kwitcherbeliakin not having a website. Seems a bit odd that it wouldn’t have anything turn up given that it never seemed to be secretive. Not having a site I could understand but not having it pop up at all in other things? IIRC Maze was on the ‘net as having done some stuff, so it seems a bit odd.

Fourth, Grimm having two boy scout knives on hand. I don’t remember him ever using them again, which probably helped make it a bit more jarring that he had pulled them out. Especially paired with the implication of not finishing Kim off due to not being hired for that job in his later bout with Drakken about pay. Something you had in mind early that just fell to the wayside?

Anyways, enough with the criticism and questions… what came out best?

Well first of all it did feel like it could fit into a KP episode - knives notwithstanding - and you did balance both the school and the main plots nicely. I probably had glossed over the poem the first time but given what you do in later stories, Kim’s really foreshadowed how you handled the high and mighty things that humans elevated to revere.

And while Team Probable wasn’t the fully fleshed out team they would be later, they still had enough personality not purely ripped from their inspirations to hint at more - Grimm’s biting tongue for one. Though really Grimm stood out more in this story than Rhonda and Jade in - in fact I’d say that of the humans on the team Jade got the least development or hints at being more than just gender flipped and ancestry swapped Wade.

Although the way Team Probable was beat was a one-off, it did tie into your later theme of “good guys work for it”. Team Possible hit Team Probable prepared and with a plan they put work into (even if most of it was glossed over), and won because of that work while Grimm was resting on his laurels after their last encounter (though given how well it had gone for him it’s hard to blame him). Nice to see later things having a root earlier on, even if it is stretching it a little and potentially attributing stuff that the author didn’t plan on.

Overall: a good story; on it’s own maybe a one off read, but for what it’s role is in the series of stories it does the job very well.

Oh man, i can totally see this in an episode. Well, maybe the photo and the act no, but a little talk about that yes. I'm just a little confused about how the hell Grimm learned about Tai Shing Pek Kwar, but who cares. great fanfic.

A great little introduction, while Team Probable originally come across slightly sueish [Well, Grimm.] chapter 5 makes up for it. Anyhow, I look forward to catching up.

Makes sense that Kim would lose, the enemy was prepared, but Kim is used to fighting so having multiple martial arts wouldn't be a bad thing, she knows how to use it and has tons of experiance so it shouldn't be an issue having 16 forms, heck she's a martial arts master herself... but again, in the situation where the enemy is perfectly prepared for you, it's much harder to win...

So words used by Kim are outdated? Aren't those her own words? the Kim thing? Cause other people don't really seem to do it much, its like her personal catch

you know you use '-' when you have your characters talk but it should be "-"
Ex.
'No way...' should be "No way..."

using 'No way...' signify thought rather than speech...

A passable story. The idea would have been better played if the Probable Team wasn't introduced after So The Drama. Nothing I can point to to say it was a bad story, or a good one. I think It just needed time to grow, which is what part 2 is for.

This is Amazing!

Slyrr, you're probably surprised to be receiving a review so long after the event, especially as I previously commented on AFID, but since that review (before Christmas) I have finally got around to viewing the entire set of KP episodes (thank you Youtube!) including StD (thank you some other site) and this has prompted me to revisit my favourite fanfics with a more informed eye and a reviewer profile (doubt I'll ever be able to write myself).

Until watching StD I had completely missed the resonances of Grimm and Rhonda's conversation in the police van - the only thing missing was Rueful saving the day but your way was more Grimm-like.

Many people have praised your creation of the Possible Team's alter egos and I would totally agree. Inspired and with the absolute feeling of canon, you justifiably won the Frannie for Grimm. His strengths and weaknesses were all apparent in this first story, and his ability to get under Kim's skin - though not Ron's - presages the much greater angst for Kim in future.

I know there have been concerns that Team Probable were written as too strong compared to Team Possible, and I share some of those concerns over the series, but I think that in this story they come off more or less even. While Kim cannot beat Grimm in a straight fight, she plays him masterfully in their second encounter. Although he gets away at the end, his ego is badly dented - perhaps for the first time ever - which leads him to a completely over-the-top reaction in The Return Of Zorpox - a story in which he lost my respect big-time for unleashing Zorpox on the world just because he couldn't take a defeat. The very fact that he lost it so dramatically in that story shows that - when push comes to shove - he can't hold a candle to Kim.

Fantastic! Badical, even. That was swift thinking on Rob's part. Love that goof. Okay, onward to All Things Probable II - Man, I adore Zorpox!

And this is where I say to myself, "Why haven't you been reviewing this entire time, you dolt?" This KP tale is beyond epic! You captured the characters quite easily, it seemed, so that it felt as though I could imagine the entire plot so far as one of the episodes! (Your artwork on SA was icing on the cupcake.) I was listening to "It's Just You" while reading, which always puts me in a Possible mood. Your writing style is refreshing and the wit in your OCs' dialogue is well-planned! Well done so far. With an age-old crush I've had on Ron since the show began back in Disney's cartoon Golden Days, it was instinct to favor him while he was 'battling' the adorable Rhonda. Rueful had me giggling, just as Rufus usually does. And Grimm, well, he just makes the whole thing, doesn't he? He reminds me of a Phineas and Ferb OC of my own, one Cody Bannister; the kind of slick, streetwise dude who has, as aforementioned, a witty response to everything. In fact, the wittier that boy got, the more I tended to root for KP. I mean, I like Grimm already (genius counterpart names, by the way), but he can't beat the original Kimmy, and his arrogance got on my nerves...but I'm not worried. She'll deck him! Golly, I hope she doesn't give up on her catchphrases yet. She's not that unhip! I've always loved them, anyway. But that's exactly the kind of problem she'd stress over in the show. Two enthusiastic thumbs up so far, but I hope Grimm shows some sign of non-perfection soon, or I may lose interest in Mr. Auburn all together. I tip my hat to you and continue reading! Sorry if I was late to this party. Doverstar