Good story.

nice

This is getting pretty good. (And thank you for writing one of my favorite Naruto slash pairings! I'm so glad I decided to get back into the fandom.)

Just one thing. You kinda messed up with using Onee-san and Okaa-san. I'm not the best though. there are probably mistakes I've made, so don't take this as concrete fact. It's probably mostly good, though.

Okaa-san is used to address ones own mother, and is hardly ever placed at the end of a name. One situation calling for it that springs to mind is lesbian mothers, but even than it's probably more likely that one of them would be 'mama'. You would probably address someone else's mother with the appropriate honorific. Most likely, in this case, to be '-san.' You would also, most likely, use their surname.

Onee-chan/san/sama, is used for an elder sister, and literally means such, but is also used for other older females, such as cousins, family friends, ect.. A young child might use it to address an older female stranger. If their is more than one elder sister it usually gets pinned on to the (possibly shortened) name of the sister being addressed, with the 'o' part in most cases dropped. (You can do the same thing to Okaa-san, making it less formal.) Onii-chan/san/sama follows the same pattern. At Shino's age it's much more likely he would use the correct honorific for the person he was addressing, regardless of their relationship to his teammate.

Haha everything edible is on a damn stick isn't it? XD lmfao

Well, I'm not entirely sure if this is done or not, but it's at a good stopping point all the same. If nothing else, it's not a damnable cliffhanger. I hate those...

Anyway, I really like this storyline. Your writing is a little but rushed, and now that stupid ffnet has removed the line breaks, it get a little confusing. Those are my only criticisms, though.

Even if you say the last two chapters weren't just for kicks, I will admit that they were flippin' awesome fanservice. Got to love the luvin's. :D

Your vocabulary reminds me of mine: we both use excessively lengthy words in abundance and excess. But whatever, because it sounds like Shino-speak most of the time. All's good.

On a related note, I'm curious as to the words Shino was tring to come up with when he said, "Sleep has…equivo…prevari…evaded me." Equivocate? Prevaricate? Neither of those words really has to do with evasion... I don't think. I don't actually know what prevaricate means... Ah, well.

'Til next time,

Doom

A well written, multi-chaptered ShinoKiba, created by a Kyo obsessed DEG fangirl?

I think I love you a bit. Once I've gotten my thoughts together and read the whole thing, expect a more comprehensive review

I'm pretty impressed with this fic, and well, the fic-writers of the ShinoKiba fandom in general. I really enjoyed your style of writing - you said you expressed emotions through actions, and indeed, I can feel that, especially from Shino. It is obvious he cares immensely for Kiba, even though he doesn't say it aloud. They never proclaimed their love for each other, but it is there. And I like that you gave the plot some thought, rather than it being kiss and make-out. These two will have a good future together.

OMG! I have been waiting 4ever for you too update!

hurry! Im dying to know wat happens next!

i have read all of your storys

but i love this one the most!

this story is quite good normaly i stay away from kibaXany other male but you have converted me, no not to yoai(sp?) but to the specific pairing. Here is somthing i believe: the characters are never in character when you put them into these sitiutions they are however still in character becuase you take their personality and adapt it to how that person would respond to that situituon(spelling sucks lol) you show a verey good example of this and i hope that it in some way improves your already spectacular writing

I honestly have no words to say that can describe this fic. It was so well written and thought up, that I can't help but wonder where you get your imagination from. Will you ever update again? I have read so many fics that have gone to waste because the authros refuse to update ever again! MEH! Please update!

De heh D Wow. That was AWESOME. Absolutely, positively, delicious. :] Write more for the cute little chibi ninja? She will give you marshmallows D: And if you don't update soon, SHE WILL SEND ROCK LEE AFTER YEW O! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA -coughhack- HA HA HA HA HAR~! O_o; Sorry. Please excuse my outburst. -chibi blush- :o

I can't tell you how much I love this... It would be far too easy just to sit here and sing your praises for an hour or two, but unfortunately I have coursework to finish. 0.o;

One thing I will add, however, if you get back into adding the Japanese definitions again- though you haven't put them in at all for the last two chapters- maybe it would be more convenient for you to post them before the actual bulk of the fic? As an English speaker myself, one with no clue what these words mean until I'm told, I've been skipping to the end of the chapters to find out what words I'll have to know to understand that particular part of the story...

...Okay, I've confused myself.

Well done- it's a great piece of work. :)

Ally xx

this fic was recommended to me by bugprincess15 on live journal i have to say that the was right i liked it

Ah, it's amazing how quickly life gets busy! Excellent work as always. I hope you can find the time to update more regularly. Although, your chapters are worth the wait.

THIS IS MAGNIFICENCE.

Yes, I love the fic, and you'll expect a fave from me!:P