The plot holes in this story is ridiculous. Also Harry is the worst “assassin” in history. Who the fuck walks into the middle of what they know is a trap, and much less with such a pathetic excuse of an escape plan. Also has no sense of flare. Such a bore

I’ve just finished reading this . It’s 5.36am an that’s how engrossed I was. Really fun to read N well written. Please don’t take notice of idiotic haters. I was so looking forward to reading the 2sequels. Please don’t take them down . People will be negative because They can hide behind a keyboard . Take no notice an be proud of what you have written .

- russell

Wow, I actually really enjoyed this story! I was up all night reading it! It was really dark and depressing, but it was a very good story.

My only problem with this story is the sad ending. I just wish it could have focused more on Harry's relationship with the Potters. The scene where Harry was actually smiling was amazing, and I wish this story took a happier path, because around the half way point it got really depressing. It was understandable, of course, but it still was tragic. Of course, this is a tragedy story, so you did nothing wrong! You wrote this great!

Thank you for this great story! :)

Let me start by making one thing clear: I think you have potential, both with this story and as an author in general. However, you got lazy with your planning and reviewing the logic of your plot-lines and it is really starting to show up the farther you get into the story. You really needed a beta to bounce ideas off of.

Two more issues from ch. 16: As soon as Dorian hears that his father has fallen ill - and more to the point that Snape does not - he will know that Harry has poisoned his father.
There is zero reason for him not to disclose this betrayal, so the plot hole only grows more ridiculous.

Next, what possible reason would Neville have for not taking the necklace to Dumbleore? Zero reasons did you give nor can my rather fertile imagination spawn. It's like it's just a bizarre rabbit trail you wandered down and Neville just dazedly wandered with you.
Oh, and he's been wearing this necklace that they immediately noticed when they found him, but now it's gone for over a day, but nobody - including dumbles or James - notices.

Ch 17
So... what was the point of Snapes' interrogation of Harry? He knows it's true. What does it matter if Harry confirms it? The only thing that that scene did was to weaken Snape in the eyes of voldy, a move so pathetic that it cheapens the image of Snape as a spy and casts him more as just the pathetic, sneering bully the movies mostly portrayed. Why?

batty miss sherry instructs them to record their tarot card reading every night until Friday. it is Friday. Since she passes the cards out, how are they going to read them at night?

"
Hiding behind a statue of armor, Harry wished that he could have his daggers. He always felt pleasure in using them.
"
Annnd there we have it. He takes PLEASURE in KILLING with HIS HANDS. Harry is a psychopathic killer. The reason you haven't been building towards a redemption arc is that he is beyond redemption, a soul-less husk who delights in the destruction of human life. How can you hope to turn this around after you show his true self, revealed by his unbidden thoughts!?

"
Harry rolled to his left, avoiding a fatal green light that screamed from the second Auror's wand.
"
The Aurors are using AK's? Not likely...

So, surrounded by four bodies, harry throws down a working wand and doesn't search the other three for a better match. *sigh*

Dorian gives the password to... of course he does. He didn't care that his dad was poisoned by harry, so why would he not also help him break into the headmasters office. *groans*

So, Albus announces himself before he contains his enemies. Yep, cuz reasons. *sigh*
k, it's too much, I'm done, sorry I wasted your time and mine.

Huh. I just... can't accept it. I know I have to let it go, but Dumbledore suddenly not being able to intrude upon Harry's mind when he was so desperate to keep him out and failed just stinks like the rotten gaping plot hole contrivance that it is.
*shrugs* I can only hope Harry's turnaround isn't as pathetic.

So far, so bad :(
I have to assume you have some way for Harry to turn a corner, but thus far I'm coming up blank. Voldy has done a lot to secure Harry's loyalty, as well as thoroughly indoctrinate him, to the point of suicidal loyalty. How do you overcome that?
It just occurred to me that you never had the scene with Snape (much too belatedly) conveying voldy's counter-order for him to suicide.

Wow... that was nauseating.
Scary and terrible and completely repugnant... well done.

Interesting chapter... odd that voldy would not care about the SoS.

I highly doubt that dumbles would wish voldy to 'fare well', a fond wish given at the parting of friends.

Well now, months to have his rigid controls battered and his world-view questioned may be a reasonable way to have a believable change in Harry. Nothing thus far has made more than a dent.

Quite a few grammatical errors in these last few chapters, this being the worst so far.

That said, the character development is coming along reasonably well.

The optimism of dumbles truly astonishes me... No, Harry has not killed for pleasure, but he has been raised to be a soldier, a weapon. Escaping will be his one and only objective... though I suppose it will take him some time since he will need to plan as he only has one shot before Azkaban awaits.

Wow, Snape still wants Harry dead more than anything (as long as it's not directly at his hand to inflame the life debt) and is even willing to risk voldy's rath to allow it!
Look at Your timing... Snape was instructed by voldy within minutes of Harry's capture, an hour at the most.
Harry slept the better part of a day, awoke, had the kitchen confrontation, then slept some more. Let's say 6 hours at a minimum, to be ridiculously generous.
Snape let all that time pass, and more, knowing that he had been ordered to give a message to Harry from voldy - and he's smart enough to work out the meaning of that message.
Now, take the above, can you give me any alternative to my conclusions?

Nice bridge chapter.

Huh... so, actual feelings. With his previous order to kill himself if captured, I felt it was pretty clear that voldy only saw Harry as a tool, an implement of war. What would cause this sudden change?

The lost battle indeed! I do wonder why nobody has thought to restrain the assassin though, a rather major oversight.