I can't wait to see Augustus' reaction when it is time for the ritual

a Harry with spine story. with some original plots

really interesting story so far!

Love it
Plz update it I need more it’s a great story and I would like to know what happen next
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Very good, and what a book. Harry is indeed preparing for war and of course the old saying “knowledge is power” rings true.

Well, Dumbledore is a fool here, and utter fool. He has lost and does not know it yet.

I hope you don't make it a habit to tell your story through confusing dialogues. The red bird talked to the yellow bird about the blue bird who looked smugly at red bird. The mean voice tells the nervous voice off and nervous voice doesn't like the way mean voice talks to him. It's not really THAT hard to follow, but it's still annoying :/

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

What is up with that phoenix?
It's acting very odd...

Microsoft Encarta 97?
Oh, I ADORE that version!
Have you played MindMaze?

Most stupid fucking duel ever. You spent four chapters talking about his studies, advancements and whatnot, but he gets absolutely dominated in a duel against ONE enemy WHILE he had the advantage of invisibility, when in canon he habitually went up against worse odds and won. I get you’re trying to make it more realistic, but you were building his skills off of the canon skills, so this doesn’t make any sense. I’m dropping this story by the way. Five chapters of shit that wasn’t remotely funny or necessary and now in the first ‘action’ scene, it’s just thrown any and all progress out the window. Stupid.

To be fair, you didn’t hint at it but it was obvious who the voice is and that makes it even more annoying. Actually, it would get even MORE annoying if it ends up being someone else,

Ah, I should explain why I find the voice and the phoenix annoying. Because of all the long, pointless scenes you add and the ridiculously lengthy explanations, the story is extremely slow. Having ‘mystery’ elements with zero hints as to who they are or even what they’re there for in a slow story is torture. It grates on the reader’s nerves even more than it does on the character’s and given how Harry lost his shit in the middle of the street (oddly enough, proving himself wrong when he said he had changed himself), me calling it annoying is an understatement.

Exposition should be sparse, added through dialogue and only explained as much as someone normally would in real life. You add it in the narration with a pointless backstory (the backstories were novel at first, now they’re dull and mind-numbing) and you go into detail with each and every new subject.

Again, far too much exposition. You also seem to add completely irrelevant scenes like the phoenix following him, and that’s without mentioning that the phoenix is an incredibly annoying addition to the story.