This was so funny I can't even write.

Hmmm time to check my own fics.

10. Face gets beaten / shot / raped / otherwise traumatized.
Yes/yes/NO/meh

9. Said beating / shooting / rape / other trauma brings on a flashback to Vietnam / abuse in an orphanage / abuse by a foster
parent.
Not for Face, but my HM does have flashbacks

8. Face or Murdock winds up "in a corner" during a flashback.
No

7. The team's goose is cooked except they just happen to run into a doctor / sheriff / other person who just happens to know
someone who served with the team in Vietnam or was imprisoned in the same POW camp.
Eh, no. Not yet anyway

6. Hannibal considers himself to be like Face's (usually) or Murdock's father.
No

5. Face (usually) or Murdock thinks of Hannibal as their father.
Hell no

4. A team member stops breathing or receives CPR and one day / hour / minute later is beating the bad guys to a pulp.
Haha no, but I do have one instance of Murdock getting a concussion after a knock to the head and nothing after being unconscious for two hours.

3. Maggie Sullivan, Miracle Doctor: Even though she is a rural GP, Maggie somehow manages to perform lifesaving surgery
or miraculously appear with a heart monitor and crash cart when needed (usually at some backwater motel).
No

2. The team manages to carry a dying member half-way cross country (or the world) to receive the ministrations of
Maggie Sullivan, Miracle Doctor.
This is brilliant

1. Dougie Kyle, Ubervillian
No

Since I posted the original list, the following seven devices were added:

17. You Are My Sunshine. You know the song; you know the cliche.
No

16. A "Mary Sue" joins the team.
No

15. The team members confess that they love each other (platonically). Also known as "I Love You Man" or "ILYM."
Eh... no?

14. Face or Murdock reveals slashy feelings to the other.
NOOOOOOOooooo

13. Murdock's puppy dog eyes.
I mean, come on now. Aaaaw... Not puppy eyes, but darker eyes in anger.

12. Face's eyes. What shade of blue are they
Who knows

11. Face or Murdock curl up with the other in bed to comfort the other after a nightmare or flashback. Purely platonic.
Of course... but no... I think?

This is still a brilliant piece of writing. Thanks for making me laugh yet again.

I personally did use, telepathic Murdock

I’ve achieved 5/17 possibly 6/17 if you count piss taking innuendos across my series. I promise to try harder and manage the rest of the books.
Such fun to read

Well, it only took me 17 years to read this story since it was posted, and only because someone suggested I should read it... and what a suggestion! I'm so glad she did. I was pissing myself laughing all the way.
So many LOL points, I can't name them all. For example that recurrent theme of Nick's S&M supplies always got me. And, as I am reading this into the future, that plastic tub reminded me so much of the scenes of "Breaking Bad", I had that kind of footage in my head while reading this, hahahaha. And nobody really thinks about Celine Dion in 2018 anymore , but I guess in 2001 people could hate that Titanic song as much I hate Justin Beaver's "Despacito" now, with a passion, to the point to consider it a real torture. (That would have been my choice nowadays... and also it would have been a wonderful torture theme: killing me "slowly" (despacito), with your song... (or "softly", if you like the original by Roberta Flack, but I love that song, while I hate "Despacito", in both, the Spanish and the English versions. Both hideous.)

I haven't read many A-Team stories yet, or even watched all the episodes as I got the DVD's only two months ago (I don't know that Kyle yet, for example), but I am writing a story that I have to confess (shamelessly, of course) it contains all these clichés form your list:

10 - Face always has to get tortured, and maimed. That is a must!
9 - Yeap, flashbacks of rape at the POW camp and once at the orphanage. Of course!
8- Not in a corner, they are hiding in a cellar in mine, hahahaha
7- They run into a healer who doesn't know shit about their POW camp, but knows other POWs (close enough)
6 - Not a father figure, but the "I feel responsible for your safety and I failed you, goddammit!" figure, yes
(5) No, I don't have the number 5. Yay!
4- Yeap. Face stops breathing with a blow to the solar plexus. Not "real" CPR needed, but a few blows of Hannibal's smoke-tasting second-hand air during mouth-to-mouth resus gets him gasping for air again. Nice!
3- No Maggie Sullivan. I created my own Miracle-doctor healer (see cliché number 7)
2- Not one, but 2 members are carried along the Vietnam jungle in hand-made, very uncomfortable travois.
(1) I don't know who that Kyle is. I haven't got the pleasure of meeting him yet.
17 - There is no "You are my Sunshine" song in my story, but Murdock sings lullabies instead: his own version of "All the pretty horses" (which becomes "all the pretty ladies"), and "Golden slumber".
16- I used the show's own Mary Sue: "Madam Kung Fu" Tia, General Fulbright's daughter. Really useful, reliable girl. I highly recommend her for fanfic stories.
(15) I haven't got to that yet, but, give me time. The story is still in progress.
(14) No, they haven't. But other characters are wondering about it.
13 - Absolutely. And Face's. Anybody can have puppy eyes but B.A. Those would be "bulldog/dragon eyes."
12 - Who cares about the shade? They are blue, as opposed to orange, or pink. Calling them "blue eyes" is good enough for me, no shades. I worry more about the multi-coloured shades of the bruises around them.
11- Guilty again. But the main reason for me is to warm Face up as he is hypothermic, and the only blanket they have available is rubbish. And then, to sing the lullabies, of course, to get him to sleep like a baby. Ha! (No gratuitous mention of hard members or anything engorged... that also cracked me up in your story!)

So, I got a 13/17 for the story "Back in 'Nam with no plan". Yay! Do you wanna read it? ;)

Anybody wants to score their stories against mine? LOL

Thank you for a hilarious read. And thanks Bella119 for the tip!
I hope you are still receiving the reviews after all this time.

Ok, this was hysterical. Yes I am an "original" A-Team fan, and I love reading good fanfiction. Your's has always been one of the best. How I missed this, I don't know, but was going through fanfic and ran across this parady. So true, just can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all, and yet we still love them :-)

#5 with face!

great fun reading!

didn't miss any of the important clichés ;-)

Hahahahahahaha... I think you've just killed me... my rib is probably cracked, and I can't breathe... Bhahahahaha...

THANK YOU for sharing the story. I'll go listen to some Celine Dione now...

That is just plain funny! Thank you for sharing!

Kopy Kat

Too funny

Pure genius. Absolutely. I've been ticking them off! I must have read a story for nearly every one on your list. I have to say, Dougie Kyle (Ubervillian) is my favourite, except maybe Maggie Sullivan, Miricle Doctor (TM) or BA's suspiciously blonde daughter. Anyway, I love it! and it's going straight to my favourites list!

This was funny, haha ;-), but by the way, many of those cliches were taken directly from events that actully happened on the TV show (Kyle, Maggie, Face and Murdocks friendship, Face was tortured in " a theory of revolution" , the "turning a broomstick and stuff from the kittchen into a leathal weapon, the flashbacks...), so why do you mock it when its "coppied" in fanfiction and not as a part of the show, which is full of it ? drugging B.A., the disguises, Face chasing girls...A-teams uberabilitys to make a plan come together...

Hoot? *check*

Holler? *check*

Me laughing my butt off at 4:30 in the morning? *check*

My fave moments?

"Stop it, ya crazy fool, ya usin' too many dashes." and ''. *thumbs up* ~Shady

OMW! I was laughing so hard the kids had to ask me what was going on. That description of the Pennsylvania cow...I'm still chuckling. *snerk* You. Are. Dangerous. Bwah!

This was brilliance— no, that's not a grammatical error. I absolutely agree with your A-Team clichés, (I was getting really tired of the only version of FacexMurdock slashiness that exists) although Maggie Sullivan and extra-terrestrial equipment is something I haven't found that much. (Usually it's the nurse or the client that tries to murder Face in the hospital.)

Yes, Hannibal looking at Face like a son and the other way 'round is mercilessly prevalent in 99% of fanfiction. (I swear, can’t they just respect one another without going into family ties?)

The part where Hannibal says they should let Dougie Kyle escape so that he come back and shoot *Face* in the last chapter, rather reminded me of two clichés you forgot to add.

Firstly, fanfic has deemed Face as homosexual. Not even bisexual, flat out gay. (Have you noticed how he doesn't look at a single girl in slashy stories?)

And secondly, authors *have* turned (no point denying it) everyone's favourite blond Lieutenant into a masochist— he's the *only* one that ever gets hurt. Not BA, not Hannibal, not even Murdock. (Somebody point a finger at me and scream, "BURN THE HYPOCRITE!")

There's an awesome story called "Twelve Hours One Tuesday," and once again it *has* to be Face.

Anyway, I'm rambling here, but yours was an amazing piece of work, but only it was way too short.