Well, that was tragic. Not that that's anything bad, since I happen to like tragedy. You've lovely prose: it's simple, with the syntax and more short sentences than long ones, very straight to the point but with layers of subtext and enough poetics to keep it interesting. It's very reminiscent of them really, because more than anything this couple has always struck me as very simple on the surface, but the beauty of them together holds more complexities than what can be seen at first glance.

I enjoyed the wordplay, and how there were red things sprinkled throughout the story. I don't know if it was intentional (I'm guessing it was; nothing here seems slipped in just for kicks) but it gave me the impression that everything was painted in shades of red and for me, it tied together that feeling of having someone's blood on their hands.

My favourite line has got to be "I'd like to show you the sky". You pretty much wrapped up Neji and Tenten in that one line for me. I've always felt that they have this unwavering devotion and fierce loyalty to each other, as well as a solid trust that was slipped in as subtly as they were introduced. I've always found it ironic that Neji is always grounded while Tenten gets to soar, even in the style of their techniques. And while Naruto was instrumental in "forging the key" it was Tenten and Team Gai that had to do the rest and help Neji break the cage. I think your characterisation was spot on really, especially when she tells him that she won't die for him but with him. While she does admire him (and love him, but that's probably just the fandom wish) she's still very bound to duty and the way of ninja, so it's very true to her that she, unlike Sakura or Ino, wouldn't betray the village or what she's been striving for in life.

I also love the sentiment behind that last line, of how he became a demon but with her beside him - pinned to him, their entities bound by steel - "he is more human than he ever was". She is his anchor to humanity, and I find that beautiful in a redemptive and healing sense.

Beautiful job. :)

Heartachingly sad, but touching and so very worth the time it took to read this.

This was the most beautiful story l have ever read.

You are an amazing writer.

You definitely have a future in the writing career.

Beautiful.

Great story! Keep up the awesome writing!

~~CloudGazer15

I just love the wordplay here. My favorite fanfic, ever, in the angst genre

Fanart of the last scene -

#/d2u91t8

wow...simply wow. This story is amazing, i love it so much! i especially love the ending, quite sad but i love it nevertheless. I love the way the story flow, the descriptions, the metaphors and mostly importantly, i love the emotions. wonderful job!

Wow, a good Neji Tenten story.

...this is a PIECE OF ART! I LOVE IT!

I'm perfectly disturbed. Quite nice indeed. I'm highly surprised at the complexity and the intelligence behind it, not your ever so normal NejiTen, or Naruto fic for the matter.

I'll be honest and say I was still pulling the string for some minutes after I stopped reading. Everything was so well crafted that I had to absorb everything in.

One hell of a work. Congrats!

wow

your writing is amazing!

i mean - seriously!

really amazing!

this was cute, too

nejiten lives on forever!

It's so sad. I'm really not sure what's going on for the first part. It's not really detailed on what is going on in the future part. She's leading her somewhere, but why did he kill her. It doesn't make sense to me. I guess it's that orochimaru put a curse seal on him too making him kill her. Why wouldn't she stop him. It doesn't makes sense. Can you explain better please? Over all it was a beautiful story. I quite enjoyed it.

Subtle, delicate, a thing of beauty to behold.

Evil Orochimaru...

Good story idea!

that was really sad, and kinda hard to understand, but i really liked it actually. it was good and well-written! great job! :)

...angsty.