This is hilarious.

Now that was well done! Loved the understated humor! Also love seeing that poor Harry can't get out of the marriage contract situation. Great job with the gun and disposing of Voldemort. Very original! And just the thought of being adopted by Moody... Can't go there - too scary. Loved it!

Not bad, What if Harry had a dirty relative with a 44 magnum to show him how to use it.

Bad-tempered and tantrum throwing (that was what she was doing when she attacked Harry, right?) Hedwig is SO funny. As is Harry feeding her so much bacon that Ron (what an idiot wizard the best male friend of Hedwig's human is) to get back into her good graces.
I don't think Harry's letter to Sirius asking him to get him (Harry) a gun is stupid at all.