gorgeous. just gorgeous, JMO.

Great tag to the episode! One of the first thoughts I had after watching it was actually “I wonder what aMUSEment’s perspective will be on this and what they’ll write in their customary thoughtful one shot.” XD And a thoughtful analysis it was indeed—I hadn’t even thought about how he never said “I love you” to the two loves of his life and it’s connection to his reluctance to open up to people. And I’m so glad you brought up Maeve and made those comparisons and teased apart the meanings (was low key waiting for someone to acknowledge it during the episode but they never did). Also I have to say that this line—“Have I become so accustomed to being the whipping boy of the universe, that I don't know what to do when something goes right?”—legit made me laugh out loud. Idk how you intended it but it felt very on the nose and pointed at CBS and the writers for their 15 year long campaign to ruin this poor man’s life with annual and sometimes biannual tragedies and turmoil. It’s also very accurate, though—I don’t think he is really expecting much from life anymore, if he ever did, and I can definitely see it blindsiding him. Honestly, what good things HAVE happened to him that weren’t just the reflected glow that came from orbiting around other people’s happiness/good fortune? (I.e. Derek naming his son’s middle name after him, getting to be godfather to JJ’s kids) I genuinely can’t think of anything. But anyways! Excellent writing as always (a few typos and the use of the phrase “but instinctually he knew” several times seemed a bit repetitious but other than that twas great) and I’m excited to see any more drabbles you throw out there as this final season rolls out!

Amazing. I loved every word, even though the tone was so sad.

Yes. Someday. Thank you for writing a story that makes me feel it might be possible for our, poor, emotionally beleaguered Dr. Reid.

Oh god this is so good. Especially the resolve at the end, where he thinks he may have given his mom the assurance that he could, and would, find love, that that was something she taught him, and it was true.

Oh, man. Reid. I just want to hug him so badly.

I love, LOVE how you compared his love for JJ to his love for Maeve here, and his issue of not being able to tell them just how he felt. And then later, his observation that he told Diana about JJ, knowing full well she'd forget it later, and how that seemed to be the only time he could really tell the truth. I don't blame him one bit for daring to wonder what all of that meant for his own capacity to love, but I also like how he immediately shut down all those negative inner voices trying to tell him such things, too, because indeed, he knows full well he's capable of loving people, in all kinds of ways.

But yeah, given how often things seem to fall apart for him, I think that's a very valid explanation for why it might be harder for him to tell people he loves them. One could argue that constant struggle would spur somebody to make their feelings clear as often as possible, precisely because they know how quickly the good times can end. But on the other hand, it's easy to get so burned by that kind of constant loss and pain, to where some might feel it's better to just not open up and let others in like that.

All of that being said, however, I also hope Reid can take comfort in the knowledge that people express their love in different ways. Some people are very comfortable in saying "I love you", but many others say that through their actions. And Reid has indeed shown, through his actions over the years, just how much he loves JJ. And his actions showed how much he loved Maeve, too, with all he did to try and keep her safe, and the sacrifice he was willing to make for her to live. I completely sympathize with his desire to want to actually say those three words aloud to somebody, and I hope he does eventually get that chance. But actions can speak just as loud as, if not sometimes louder than, words, and I trust Reid understands that, too, or will come to better understand that in time.

I also liked the connection between him telling JJ "It's okay" while tending to her injuries and him saying those same words to her at the wedding, and the issues with honesty that always seem to rear their ugly head between them. Ironically, in some ways, one could see them trying to protect each other from any truths that might be too painful to bear as an act of love as well. Not the best or happiest example, no, but...

The ending, though. An interesting place to find hope, but I love that that's the ultimate takeaway Reid has from his visit with Diana. Such a touching thought, and indeed, I've no doubt Diana is taking comfort in that fact. Perhaps even writing about it in one of her journals or something. And I love the image of Reid daring to hope at the end, and taking all the right lessons from everything that's happened. Reid may have a generally realistic outlook on the world, but he's also always had an optimistic streak, and it's nice to see that side of him come out again.

I also love the pinball comparison-very apt. And as always, there's some beautiful lines in this fic, my favorite perhaps being, "a miracle bestowed for no discernible reason into the life of an unbeliever".A lovely tag to this episode-as always, you capture these characters and their stories so beautifully.

Maybe...
Alas, not w/ the current writers I fear. They're just too use to denying poor Spencer any happiness.
Awesome but heart-wrenching story.

Awww! Sweet!