This is hilarious. Always avoid the polar bear animagus.

Nice one-shot. Thanks for writing!

Ha

To be fair, most of the fics like this are basically just erotica, so anyone expecting reason in them is kinda being unreasonable.

That said, this is hilarious and I, as usual, have to applaud your work.

Interesting story hope to see more from you soon.

OK - that was suitable cracked...

good chapter keep it up

The summary describes this story as "very meta." What does that even mean? Seriously, it's an expression I've never heard before. (Yes, I live in a backwater and don't get out much. And I haven't watched any TV in years.)

You know, one could defend other fanfiction authors and their plot holes, clichés and overused storylines right here.
But why bother. You certainly have some points. Lots of stories overdue the "perfec couple" thing. Lots of them are not very original. All things you so entertainingly pointed out.
Then again instead of pointing out the flaws you commonly find in "Haphne contract" fanfics, why not write one yourself. You seem to have the talent for it. Take a spin to what people expect. Make Harry a lovesick teenager, ignoring faults. Let Daphne be a stuffy pureblood princess, who seems to be the total opposite of Harry. Have them fight. Letvthem struggle to find a common ground. Point out better partners unavailable because of the contract. Make Daphne less physical perfect than she is often portrayed. Write a story that is not a romantic fairytale, but more based on reality. If something like that is possible when writing about a magic school. There is so many possibilities to explore. So instead of pointing out the flaws of other stories, even if done as good as you did here, I personally would rather have a story that shows how to do better by being better.

I think the interesting thing about harry/Daphne is, that so little about Daphne is known in canon. That giving people the freedom to play with the character. So I would ask of you to try and write a story that does not rely on overused clichés. Hopefully it can be as entertaining as your rather sarcastic take here.

Thanks for your story and reading my late night rambles.

So short... So unsatisfying...

LOL nice. This is exactly how all these unoriginal stories play out. Daphne is little more than an OC.

based and tropepilled

oh come on mate ! don't ruin the ideal scenario pairing

Sweet, but too short.

More please

Given Daphne is often portrayed as the "Ice Queen of Slytherin ", a polar bear does seem like an appropriate animal for her animagus form. Personally though, I would have used something like a snow leopard. Nonetheless, a very humorous fic. Always enjoy seeing the ferret get his comeuppance.