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Please continue this, dropping it seems like a waste

Vai publicar de novo ? Faça isso

great chapter keep it up

I have really enjoyed the story thus far and look forward to see how it progresses! Naruto/Ino is one of absolute favorite pairings in the fanfic verse. Keep it up! So far I haven't seen much that needs to be tweaked or anything like that (grammar or misspellings), if I find anything in the future I will let you know. Eagerly awaiting the next installment!

Pretty good, and interesting. Missing some words here and there, and some commas are in weird places.

like it so far and want to read more

Really nice, hope to see more

Eine interessante Variante, die du hier erstellst. Bin mal gespannt wie deine Story sich weiter entwickelt.

Was ist aus Naruto liebe zu Sakura geworden?
Hatte Naruto sich als Sasuke verkleidet und Sakura gefragt was Sie von Naruto hielt? Ich meine die Szene, wo es um Sakuras Stirn geht.
Die ganze Sache verwirrt mich etwas!
Naruto hat sich nicht langsam von seiner schwärmerei für Sakura entfernt, es wirkt eher als wäre nie etwas gewesen. Aber wenn das so ist, warum ist Sakura so abneigend Ihm gegenüber?
Und wie sollen sich zwischen Naruto und Ino romantische Gefühle entwickeln? Was wird das einschneidende Ereignisse sein?

Mach weiter so und schöne Grüße aus Deutschland

Google translation

An interesting variation that you create here. I'm curious how your story continues to develop.

What has become of Naruto love for Sakura?
Did Naruto disguise himself as Sasuke and asked Sakura what she thought of Naruto? I mean the scene where Sakura's forehead is concerned.
The whole thing confuses me a little!
Naruto has not moved away from his crush on Sakura, it seems more like nothing has ever been. But if so, why is Sakura so disrespectful to Him?
And how should romantic feelings develop between Naruto and Ino? What will be the drastic events?

Keep up the good work and best regards from Germany

pretty interesting and I do like stories like this.. keep up the good work cause so far it seems like your doing well and If you suggestions at the moment id say have naruto get Kakashi to undo the 5 prong seal messing up his Chakra flow before his match in the second stage rather then wait till he meets Jiraiya and maybe more interactions with Ino. either way i'm curious to see how it goes. good luck

The idea of the seal in the kunai pouch for important stuff is not as smart as he thinks, if he is captured, that pouch is the first thing they take away.

Nice to see him thinking about why he has so much chakra, hope he finds more about what is to be an Uzumaki. Never understood that in canon as well, if they are so important in the previous war, Konoha have there symbol in the jonnin jacket, they where allies, all Uzumaki abilities (chakra, seals, life force, chains (only in some of them), longevity.), Mito (first hokage wife) was an Uzumaki, etc.

Well, glad to see a Kakashi being a sensei for once, never understood why it never happen in canon.
But I would still hate Jiraiya even if he became a better teacher as well, the spy network is the worst excuse for not even visit his godson ONCE in all year long, and being Naruto the one searching and asking him for help (that didnt help that much in the end (the rasengan was almost self taugh if you ignore the first steps, and the sage was more the toads training him).

Interesting, even if we follow canon events with only Naruto PoV for a change.

I loved that little tip about how much that would affect him. I always hated how people dont take fuinjutsu in Narutos progress. I mean he IS an Uzumaki, its in his blood, and then he has a father that wasnt an Uzumaki but still made it to Master level, how can their son cant even made a sealing scroll or exploding tag?

Looks good so far, many times skips without telling us how his training is going except in manipulation. Wish it was more explained how he had to ask tips in nutritious food and recipes.
His adaptation of the new taijutsu and if he add something extra, like the shunshin or how to fight better in that style if you have your opponent dealing with him and a clone (I always hated how his clones never did anything in taijutsu except trying to dogpile someone and disappearing in less than 10 seconds, why not just 1-2 clones in harmony with the original and 2-3 other clones helping with range attacks?).
How fuinjutsu feels for him after just learning the basics, etc.

Looks good so far!

Okay, your third sentence is a structural mess, with too many conjugated verbs, not enough subjects, and a missing Oxford comma. That really doesn't speak well for what's to come.

Fourth paragraph: "... He wouldn't have ONE so easy."
Seriously? You have a US flag on your profile, English is most probably your first language. Even if it isn't, I really don't care. How can you write something so enormous? How?
"... He wouldn't have WON so EASILY."

There are (and not "they are", "their are", or I don't know what other monstrosities), THERE ARE several mistakes of the same kind, if not even worse. "You are" is the same as "you're" and they have nothing to do with "your".

There are also a lot of repetitions that make your prose overall not very elegant. Example: "... she was having an admittedly difficult time not doing so NOW, he actually LOOKED (and not "looks"! Stick to one tense!) good NOW."
You can remove a "now" and add an "as" as a conjunction word between the two halves of the sentence (or an Oxford comma!)

I'll pass on the clichés, you know they are here, you made a conscious choice to use them. Just, "he felt a strong connection to it (the taijutsu style) immediately." Yeah, of course, he does. That is utterly ridiculous. He felt a strong connection to a martial art while reading a fucking scroll in a library, of course. Urgh. You know, he could have simply found it cool, or really liked the name, or whatever but no, he had to feel a transcendental connection with the style of his not-so-secret father. What a load of bull.

Do you translate Naruto to Maelstrom? Iruka to Dolphin? Do you translate Karate to Empty Hand? No. Why? Because they are proper nouns. Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and every capitalized word you translated are proper nouns. So why. Do you. Translate. Them? STOP IT! It's annoying, disruptive, unnecessary.
If you think it necessary to explain to the reader what is what, you find other ways.
Example: "His Taijutsu was sub-par [blablabla]. He would need to seriously work on his martial art." There, you just gave a definition for Taijutsu. It's called a contextual clue.

Best writing to you.

Great Chapter, Continue Please.