has potential, having adults undertake the journey could be pretty fun.

Yo. This is so dope. I wanted to do something just like this albeit from a more comedic standpoint but I love this story. Especially the realness and raw violent nature of the Pokemon and battles. It's very realistic and makes me feel like this is how it would be if Pokemon existed in the real world. I've only read chapter 1 so far but I'm looking forward to the next installments. This has also inspired me to write my own.

Another enjoyable chapter. A little light on words however. I would have enjoyed this more if you showed the whole exam process.

Can't wait for more.

Very interesting story premise!
The struggle between dangers and desires, fear and joy, hope and uncertainty is very nicely done so far. I hope you‘ll continue writing the world you are imagining.
Some advice in case you are:
Around ~50 references to author notes within ~13k words reminds me of reading a thesis, which is not necessarily bad but will likely turn some readers away. If you want to tell people more about the world you are imagining, then try to do that directly through your story whenever possible - it can be part of what keeps the interest of your audience when in chapter 7 or w/e the uncovery happens of what a pokemon experiences inside its ball.
Things like the identity of a Scizor or Arcanine don‘t have to be explained in author notes when you are writing a pokemon fanfiction and that people bet money on pokemon battles becomes quickly clear from the context.
It feels like you put much thought into your world - which is great - but don‘t force yourself to put a reference to an explanation everytime you mention anything at all for the first time. Even stuff like how pokemon academies work (which is probably a bit different) can be explored later on when it becomes relevant for the protagonist. Leaving something unexplained is only bad when it‘s central to the plot, immediatly relevant and unique to the world you are building.
So in summary, use that background knowledge you have floating around in your head in order to enrich your story and make it come to feel alive instead of using references. Let it come up and flow naturally and much will become clear from the context even without explicit exposition.

Anyway, hope that was helpful and I am looking forward to new chapters :)

Excellent again. Can not wait for more

Excellent opening chapter and a different, yet very pleasant take on the Pokemon world. I especially love the detail you've gone into explaining how your world works. Thoroughly enough I am from the Scottish Highlands and I am wondering if you are too hahahaha?

Bravo

I really enjoyed this chapter as well. I like how you continue to build an interesting world that is based on the pokemon world but also still all your own. It will be interesting to see a couple traveling together as trainer partners, something you really don't see much of in the main Pokemon universe.

When you decide to make a new Pokemon you will be targetted by a group of trolls who will falsely review your story. They go by the name "St Elmo's Fire", "Farla", "Reeds of Enki, "DLPxBeAsTxSnIpE", "Talarc", "thisispingas", "Act" and BeHopeful. It's best to block them before they become a problem for you. Do not talk to them either for as they will send your PM down over at their blog.

Why they do it is rather simple. They think they know better then everyone else. Really they are the most hated users on the site for this reason. Best to block them beforehand

I'm with the other two Elmo's has zero ability to write. I have fourth stories that outstrip all of his combined. Take it from me (and any actual writer) this guy's purely dillusional.

Just ignore Elmo's. The jackass has bullied everyone in Pokemon. He's hated by everyone and beliefs in batshit theories due to never really playing Pokemon. Seriously not a single story on this site hasn''t been given the same copy paste bull crap.

Ok before I go. You where very likely warned about this guy. So please check your pms.

[Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames.]

No he doesn't he goes around giving bad advice and flames.

[Summaries should tell us more than just the genre. What’s your plot?]

Your summary told us your plot not a genre.

[You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. ]

Pokemon names are actual names and not species names. Game Freak Nintendo, and the creator himself have all stated this several times.

[While I, too, like footnotes, they're unfortunately not well-suited to a web document. ]

False they can be well written and you actually did a great job.

[However, this particular note, at least, isn't necessary. Everyone reading this is already familiar with the games and knows what a pidgey is.]

False a lot of people forgot or just straight up Don't know what Pokemon are.

[This sentence is grammatically correct (I think), but feels breathless. ]

It'd not breathless. In fact here's the thing breathless sentences are a difficult and misunderstood thing.

[This one is a lot harder to follow; it reads like a few words got eaten in the middle.]

It's not difficult to follow.

[You want "kid's", singular.]

No you want kids mural because this is more then one.

[Dropped a word here.]

No you didn't.

[Canon shows that this is very clearly not true. The manga explicitly shows us that most trainers get their pokemon through random captures]

One this is not the case. In fact canon has made it clear that everyone revived the same starter.

[As a fanfiction author you are, of course, free to discard all of this if you feel your version makes for a better story, but personally I'm not too keen when authors do this.]

He an idiot who never written Pokemon before and has the hill to complain about. To everyone. Just ignore him.

[Like, seriously, pokeballs cost what, 200 yen (or 2 dollars)? What kind of horrible dystopia is this that anyone seeing a working-class kid with a 2-dollar object automatically assumes it must have been stolen?]

And He's complaining about nonsense... yet again.

[This, likewise, makes training sound like something that can only be done by trained professionals, not a hobby that even an older teenager could get into like we see in canon. ]

In canon it's not a hobby.

[This sentence is missing punctuation.]

No it isn't.

[And this raises the question of why anyone would do this in the first place. Even if you can argue that kids really would be that dumb, why would adults go along with it? ]

And again more flames and nonsense.

[I suspected that, much like the Romans with their gladiators (28), the blood sport of battling was allowed to still carry so much danger was it made all that much more entertaining]

Gladiators where never a bloody spectacle in fact it was like Pro wrestling more staged then anything. In fact its more like Pro football. As such Pokemon battling is more of a game and a past time then blood sport. Which was never historically a thing.

[So… why are pokemon putting up with this, then? You go straight from saying pokemon would love to wipe humanity out if they could to saying they're great partners. That's a pretty massive shift! What caused it? ]

It's canon that Pokemon in the world throw them selves at you to get caught. Being a trainers Pokemon is better then being in the world and they know it.

[You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello,” She said] ]

Dialogue is correctly formated as [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello,” She said]. As such you are not formatting incorrectly.

[You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”.]

No it's it's. That's possessive.

No typo.

And Elmo's didn't even bother to read your story and just gave nonsensevlike always.

[(Also, fair warning: I have some sort of weird stalker who mobs stories I review. If you don't want that, a list of all their sockpuppets is on my profile.)]

Yeah about that He's been told and given proof that that's not a thing. As such his link is nothing but lies.

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don't have to feel like I'm making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

[A story about an adult in their mid-twenties who belatedly sets out on his very own Pokemon journey. Inspiration drawn from core games and slight anime elements. AU with a new region.]

Summaries should tell us more than just the genre. What’s your plot?

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[a Pidgey's (1) cry]

While I, too, like footnotes, they're unfortunately not well-suited to a web document. Footnotes are nice because you can quickly flick your eyes down and then go back without losing your place too much. What you have here are endnotes, which require scrolling all the way to the end of the document, potentially getting spoilers, and then having to scroll back up to find your place again. It's almost never worth it, in other words. If you crosspost this to Archive of Our Own, you can implement links and anchors, which will make this a lot easier – if you can make it so readers just have to click on the number and can then click back to their original position, the experience will be a lot smoother.

[1) Normal-type Bird Pokemon. Common all over the world. Its later Evolutions are used for package delivery as well as Battling.]

However, this particular note, at least, isn't necessary. Everyone reading this is already familiar with the games and knows what a pidgey is. If you have additional worldbuilding details you'd like to add through these, you may be better off incorporating them directly into the plot where they are relevant.

[The electric tone of a Pidgey's (1) cry blared over the crackling speakers in the middle of the ceiling of my classroom and I felt both a small sense of joy at the artificial Pokemon's cry and at the same time slightly annoyed as I was interrupted for something related to Pokemon for the millionth time today.]

This sentence is grammatically correct (I think), but feels breathless. It might be better to split this into multiple sentences. Especially for the opening of the story, it can be better to take things slow.

[but now a "Why does this matter in the slightest?" kind of irony of our world having emerged from a bigger Dark Age than the Western Europeans did after Rome's fall was completely lost on them, and I could not blame them.]

This one is a lot harder to follow; it reads like a few words got eaten in the middle.

[It was every kids' fantasy.]

You want "kid's", singular.

[and yet that was attracted us to it]

Dropped a word here.

[Not only did you have to buy an already-trained Starter Pokemon (a hefty price unless you wanted a Caterpie that would live for a total of one week unless you could figure out how to evolve it as a novice Trainer)]

Canon shows that this is very clearly not true. The manga explicitly shows us that most trainers get their pokemon through random captures, and very few trainers have the official starter pokemon. The "rich kid" class tend to be joke trainers, even; the series commits very strongly to the idea that you can't just buy your way to success, it's the bond and training that matters.

As a fanfiction author you are, of course, free to discard all of this if you feel your version makes for a better story, but personally I'm not too keen when authors do this. By saying this, you are establishing that pokemon training, the basis of the story and setting, is going to be a rare profession limited to a small and homogeneous class of people, and I don't really see the benefit in limiting your defining element that way. I find fantasy settings a lot more fun when the fantastic elements are available to everyone – and I get the impression you feel similarly, given how much the narrator talks about the ways pokemon inundate their way of life. It's one thing to say only serious trainers can do the full circuit, but to say you have to be wealthy to get a license at all? That locks you into a cast of nothing but rich guys with maybe one or two plucky normal kids whose characters will necessarily have to be wrapped up in class conflict, and I'm dubious if that will make for an enjoyable read.

[One got a Pokeball from who knows where]

Like, seriously, pokeballs cost what, 200 yen (or 2 dollars)? What kind of horrible dystopia is this that anyone seeing a working-class kid with a 2-dollar object automatically assumes it must have been stolen?

[The Rattata, untrained and not used to people, came out of the stasis from the Pokeball (17) in a panic, going from the relative tranquility of a yard of tall grass into a room filled with prepubescent giants who stared at it in amazement. It immediately leapt at its captor, tearing at him with its oversized fangs and there were a few seconds of absolute terror as we watched the kid get mauled, screaming all the while.]

This, likewise, makes training sound like something that can only be done by trained professionals, not a hobby that even an older teenager could get into like we see in canon. Once again, that feels too prohibitive to me. Having a character learn how to deal with a rowdy pokemon can be interesting, but this seems to lock off that middle ground – either trainers already know how to deal with pokemon, or they can't raise them at all, from the looks of this.

[Her parents figured that she would quit after a day, but, two weeks later, she was admitted into the Academy after days and nights in front of its gates]

This sentence is missing punctuation.

[Everyone, including myself, willfully ignored the fact that the yearly Trainer casualty rate increased as well. Routes were more well patrolled than they had been in years, but that still did not stop trainers, both young and old, from getting themselves on the wrong end of a Pokemon they were not prepared for, or even a human foe. Bandits and thieves were relatively common, and rumor has it that a myriad of ex-Team Rocket (21) members were always trying to reform across the regions, but I had never taken those claims too seriously. The town militias did what they could do protect the Routes to their cities, but it was certainly a life-risking journey to make from city to city, even in a vehicle.]

And this raises the question of why anyone would do this in the first place. Even if you can argue that kids really would be that dumb, why would adults go along with it? How did this cultural tradition start? Canon gives us a very easy explanation: it's not deadly. If you want to change that to tell a different type of story, more power to you, but you need to think about how that major change would affect the rest of the world state if you want to have solid worldbuilding.

[Flame Bearer's first Flamethrower attack that connected had warped its claws, melting the flesh and steel together and almost ending its battling career forever, despite the immediate response from the medical team and Pokemon always on staff at registered battles. There was an after-action report that stated that, within 6 months, the Scizor should regain at least 90% of its claws' function. There was always the danger that a battler Pokemon could be permanently injured or killed, even in a sanctioned battle, but that was the price to pay for the intensity of the battles humankind craved.

I suspected that, much like the Romans with their gladiators (28), the blood sport of battling was allowed to still carry so much danger was it made all that much more entertaining. Some would call it sickening, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but it certainly had helped to stop inter-regional conflict. Indeed, in the five hundred years that humanity's been clawing its way back from The Collapse, there had only been a handful of wars, the Pokemon themselves helping to dissuade extensive conflict, as they would very willingly help to wipe the rest of our race out if they could, leaving humanity unwilling to risk open war in case it caused mass movements and attacks by wild Pokemon. Pokemon could become great aids, partners, and friends, of course, and I do truly believe that Pokemon inherently have made our lives better. But they are, at their very inner, primal core, monsters.]

So… why are pokemon putting up with this, then? You go straight from saying pokemon would love to wipe humanity out if they could to saying they're great partners. That's a pretty massive shift! What caused it? Why were pokemon ever willing to not just work with humans, but work under them? Why, if pokemon love battling so much, do they fight in what must surely feel like pathetic mockeries of a true battle, in these artificial structures with artificial rules? Why do they put up with idiot trainers who can get them killed? Is this a something we will learn more about later?

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello,” She said] or [“Hello” she said] or [“Hello!” She said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

[it's sharp toes]

You want “its”. “It’s” always means “it is”.

[Do you think its serious?]

And typo here.

Otherwise, this is very good. Though I feel a lot of your explicit worldbuilding exposition is wonky, you do a good job of showing the importance of pokemon in the characters' everyday lives, and the description of the battle was very good. Unfortunately, despite the length, this feels insubstantial for a first chapter; as I mentioned with your summary, readers need an idea of where the story is headed. Remember that this isn't a published book, where people can just keep reading; in a serial medium you need to convince people to follow the story and come back for the next chapter at a later date. For that reason, it's best if you can hook your readers as early as possible so they can make an assessment on if this is the kind of story they'll like. I can tell that this is probably going to be a heavy-worldbuilding story, but worldbuilding alone doesn't carry a story. What exactly is the protagonist going to try to do, what are his goals and motivations? Knowing some shape of where the story is going will help readers a lot.

I think you might like to read the story "Gods and Demons: ad terminos terrae" (it can be found on my favorites list). It's a similarly dark, heavy-worldbuilding story, and I feel it strikes a good balance of danger versus accessibility in training.

(Also, fair warning: I have some sort of weird stalker who mobs stories I review. If you don't want that, a list of all their sockpuppets is on my profile.)

This story have so much potential, continue please.

Hey! Great job! I really love the worldbuilding you did in this chapter. I am so curious about the world's history and where you are going to go from here. Consider me a fan!