Awesome story dude

Wow a great start Im looking forward to finding out how he was used by Gary. That shuckle made me laugh, trying so hard to battle him hahaha

Wow this wss

The character name Sift is horrible. They say not to fuckle with shuckle, just like you should not fuckle with a story starring a character named Sift.

I assumed that it would all be gay shit. good thing it isn't.

So...Noivern, Mightyena, Or Talon flame.

(Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames)

Hi yeah this guy is actually a huge dick to new users and gives bad advice and destructive criticism. Allow me.

(u wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard.)

Actually capitalizing Pokemon names is proper english. It's also canon in universe.

(Wait, are you shifting from first-person to third-person here? That's really confusing to do without any scene transition or indicator. )

Actually it's not as confusing as he lets on. Secondly he's had a history of yelling at people for doing both of those.

(It seems odd that shuckle would behave this way. I don't recall any lore claiming they're aggressive, and their speed is the pit)

Yeah actually they can inflict the highest damage in the game and aggressive is a nature so...

(better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line)

Don't. The line is used for scene breaks. If you do then your author note will be mistaken for part of the story. Use bold for author note.

(.So the thing here is, pokephilia isn't the same thing as a sexual orientation or a normal fetish. It involves an extreme power dynamic. Trainers have total control over a pokemon's movement and physical needs, and in some cases raised them from when they were very young. There are good reasons why we don't allow those kinds of relationships in real life.)

Yeah this is not at all true. In universe Pokemon can and have killed their trainers for a host of reasons. The idea that Trainers have total control over their Pokemon is actually a discredited fan theory that game freak even mocked.

(Now, I see that you have taken this in the rare opposite direction where the pokemon has power over the human, but that just further establishes why this is so dangerous, if a pokemon is powerful enough to rape someone without even tryin)

That's not all that rare. To to a Hentai site and you can find hundreds like this.

Really this gut is just spewing lies.

Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don't have to feel like I'm making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like trainer or professor or gym.

[And as a result, it became my best friend very quickly.

Sift was a frail-looking young man.]

Wait, are you shifting from first-person to third-person here? That's really confusing to do without any scene transition or indicator. If the first-person bits are meant to be his journal and this transitions into narrating the actual events, you should format the journal differently. Italics are standard for this kind of thing.

It seems odd that shuckle would behave this way. I don't recall any lore claiming they're aggressive, and their speed is the pits, so Sift should have been able to dodge the attack anyway. I know fetish gets what fetish wants, but this still seems an odd setup. Maybe if you said that this was a released trainer's pokemon, that could explain its behavior (and why a shuckle was sitting right outside Pallet, at that).

It’s better if you separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. You can do this through the in-site editor.

[I'm here to tell you my story and hopefully convince some people that the taboo isn't as strange as they think.]

...So the thing here is, pokephilia isn't the same thing as a sexual orientation or a normal fetish. It involves an extreme power dynamic. Trainers have total control over a pokemon's movement and physical needs, and in some cases raised them from when they were very young. There are good reasons why we don't allow those kinds of relationships in real life.

Now, I see that you have taken this in the rare opposite direction where the pokemon has power over the human, but that just further establishes why this is so dangerous, if a pokemon is powerful enough to rape someone without even trying. (Incidentally, you should tag this as rape or at least dubcon.) I don't see how this would convince anyone in-universe that pokephillia is fine. If you just want to write fetishy stuff that's fine, but the moralizing framing narrative is really bizarre and unnecessary.

Please don't make it only yaoi

I like where this is going. Could you please do a Nidoqueen chapter?

Good story so far! Can you do eevee next? :3

Seeing how you are new to the Pokemon fanfiction section (or maybe not) it will be targeted by a group of egomaniac jerks who preach a twisted idea of how fanfiction should be. St Elmo's Fire is very likely to be this user who will post a review and not care one bit about you're story. They literally do it to everyone and never really follow or read it.

St Elmo's Fire and his friends go around being just a bunxh of jerks to users. In short I suspect he would complain about your summaey, capitalixing the name of your Pokemon, and writing the story in a way that isn't prose or some other nonsense.

Thsts not counting what he does to other users. Demanding you use a tag that doesn't really fit, yell at you for not explaining everything in the first chapter, using speach phases other then said, making aus or just as simple as having your characters say "Oh Arceus".

The guys group (Farla, Talarc, The Reeds of Enki) is best to ignore or block as they really don't help and are bettered blocked. Now with that said welcome to Pokemon