This was truly funny. Your Dumbledore was crazy as hell.

Most of the Harry Potter fanfiction in a nutshell

Normally I don't read mostly narrative stories, but this one kept me entertained. Good work. Thanks for feeding my addiction.

Why would Olivander complain about students getting supplies in the Muggle world? They certainly can't buy wands from muggle stores! :)

I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Hot Fuzz, but whenever I read a story that has "THE GREATER GOOD" as a catchphrase, I keep picturing the Neighbourhood Watch from that movie and relating it to Dumbledore and his order for fried chicken. I am so glad you've labelled this a crackfic, I was able to enjoy it without the hair-pulling and moaning that comes from a story that is so completely unbelievable. Thanks for the entertainment.

I know this story is supposed to be a cracky humorous parody, but the problem is it's not. In order to be a crack parody, it needs to be ridiculous and blow things out of proportion, but it doesn't. This reads more like a summary of a story that's playing all of the tropes straight, and I'd rather read that story at this point, because at least something interesting might happen.

Because that's the next problem with this story. It's just kind of boring. What humor there is in this story relies on the story being a cracky parody, but with that falling flat, there humor dies with it. And eventually I just couldn't bring myself to read any more because I was so bored.

Perhaps it says something sad about the state of Harry Potter fanfics that a story like this doesn't seem ridiculous at all, but that's what you've got to work with.

I see a lot of reviewers calling this an info-dump... They have good reason, sure, but I'd like to explain it a bit more. Mostly because I do see promise which should be nurtured.
You have certainly heard the adage, "show, not tell"? Sounds cliched, but it's true regardless. What we have here is your main character doing nothing but narrating, and that is a second layer of "saying" on top of the primary layer of "saying" that you as the author have presented. As a result, nothing is happening in the story. And a story is essentially whatever happens to the main character(s). This in turn leads to readers perceiving your piece as an info-dump, because the only way it would be a story is when things happen to the main character(s). And narration is always a passive technique. What you need is a more active storytelling method. One with more things happening and less being talked about.
Best

This was completely ridiculous but a lot of fun to read. Thanks!

ehehehehehe great

surprisingly enjoyable for what amounts to an infodump more than a story also the perspective being the evil manipulative incompetent Dumbledore is amazing

great great

is there an ending? this is good.

Will you later post a chapter with descriptions for each of the girls?

Stop with the insane amount of Info-dump...

FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

This is too much of an info dump to be crack. It's not fun. It's just a rant that never ends.