Now it's poor Gladio. Let me guess, Ignis is next? Gladio and Ignis are gonna join with Prompto and Noctis. Angry at Regis, prefer the dead Regis. Still waiting for the Kings and Queens of old to appear and join Noctis because they remember EVERYTHING!

So, in the past month I’ve done a 100% playthough of the game again, only this time I wore the nixperience band the entire time to keep me at level one. Surprised to find omega wasn’t really any more difficult than usual, but during the entire thing, I was searching for anything mentioning siblings to the royal family and I didn’t find a single thing so maybe I read it from another fanfic or something but I don’t know. Ether way, this fic seems to be kicking off soon and I’m looking forward to seeing it pay out.

Anyway, have you tried the new xiv dlc? I beat the boss the required 120 times to get the new weapons and I’ll say they are worth it, I think the weapons have 100% crit Chance as far as I can tell.

"Is this your way of having fun—sweet-talking innocent living beings to their doom?"

I like this fish! The poor fish, having to enter someone else's dream. I like the wild, fantastic nature of the dream, it's so grounded and yet so magical. Noct feeling like he's being scolded for not eating his vegetables just makes the whole thing feel even more absurd, yet whimsical.

Does this mean that Noct is going to stop fishing, or just stop fishing the golden fish in his dreams?

In any case, I'm left wondering what the fish is going to talk to Noct about. Possibly the reason for all the time travel shenanigans that are going on?

[It was the moment before the sun was completely ready to wake up. Only a faint line of light at the edge of the horizon hinted at the coming dawn, casting the ocean a misty purple.]

What a gorgeous opening. The whole first passage was beautifully described – and painted a very tranquil setting - but these first two lines were my favourite, along with “wherever he was headed, there was no reason to hurry”. Liked how you added in the fight with the fish on the line, bringing in a small conflict affecting the overall peacefulness of this opening introduction. The intensity of lines like “For reasons he couldn't comprehend, this was the fight of his life and he had to win” really added into this escalation and mystery of why Noctis was in this boat and why this simple act was bringing such an intense emotion from him.

Liked this description – “its wet scales glimmering an ethereal amber” and I really enjoyed how you wrote the transition from the fish bursting from the water into the setting changing.

[The sun fell out of the goddamn sky. As if its weight suddenly became too much to bear on its own, it just dropped out of its assigned place, plunging straight in the sea.
Noctis thought he must have lost it.]

This was fantastic! Especially bookmarked with Noctis thought on what he had just witnessed. The rest of this opening scene kept bringing a real sense of intrigue as to what was happening, and I particularly liked the descriptions of the sun, and then their mirrored descent.

[And why did Noctis have the nagging feeling that he was forgetting something really, really important?] – Loved the choice to have this as a standalone passage.

[So good, that for a second he had the most vivid hallucination of drowning. And of celestial bodies going for a plunge in the ocean.
Ha.] - Already really enjoying Noctis’s inner monologue – I liked the way you phrased this. The “Oh, right, Gladio” was also good.

[“Don’t ya think it’s about time we headed back? Not that I’m bored or anything watchin' you fish for hours on end,” came a voice from behind him. Gladio.] – Gladio has been a favourite of mine from your snippets from CC and this was a brilliant opening line from him. Liked the first bit of banter between the two of them, and this bit – [“Oho, someone finally learned some manners.” And why for god's sakes had he missed that guy again?] – later on.

Really liked how you showed Noctis’s confusion with the details that Gladio had supplied – it worked well for me being fandom blind, because he was also trying to piece it all together. Liked this bit – “What was the last memory that made sense, anyway?” and then the “I’m ready now.” Liked how you showed his physical reactions to remembering.

[Here—wherever this place was—the sunlight kissing the water of the lake was bright and the air was warm, hugging Noctis’s body in a welcoming embrace. But before, while he had been stuck inside the Crystal for ten fucking years, there was only the unyielding coldness of a world shrouded in darkness.]

This was a fantastic piece of writing. I loved the contrasts, and the hints as to what has shifted in his mind. The use of “a welcoming embrace” in this peaceful setting versus “the unyielding coldness of a world shrouded in darkness” was my favourite part – those bits mirrored each other beautifully. Oh, I am so intrigued to find out what has happened and why! This part – “And realizing that he wouldn’t even be able to see whether he succeeded, whether the dawn really would be restored to his friends and his people, to all people of Eos. Realizing that it was over for him.” was especially amazing. The agony of that decision came through, as did the confusion as to why he was still aware that he had made that decision.

There was some brilliant humour here amongst the confusion and panic. These bits were both so entertaining (I couldn’t pick a favourite) – “It was too…normal. Aside from watching the sun drop out of the sky, maybe.” and “In a disturbing way, being here at a random lake on a fishing trip with Gladio was fucking with his head more than the idea of going for a dip in the ocean with the sun as his swimming buddy.”

[That was when it clicked.
He jerked his eyes up to the sky. Shit.]

Once again, this was a great transition and way of showing the gears working as Noctis figured out what had happened. I presume “the Fall” refers to a fall of the Wall… I really liked the slow realisation that he remembered all these little details from when he was younger and the moment about not being able to cope with reading his Dad’s text had such a beautiful gravity and emotion to it. Loved the little exchange about using birthdays for passwords and this line was great – “Why would his afterlife make him relive that birthday?”

This was a wonderful opening chapter, and although I don’t quite understand all that is happening, it was actually very easy to follow as a fandom blind person. Noctis’s confusion added to the experience – being able to discover things as he was exploring what he knew and remembered. Really enjoyed this!

Hey, this is great! But I'm gonna like it even more when Noctis starts doing something about it. At least I know Prompto will ever be by Noctis's side.

The gods may have abandoned him, but the kings... oh the kings won’t abandon him because they have no other heir to lucii.

I love this fic so far! It's such a cool concept and I can't wait to see where you'll take it. keep up the great work!

Time travel fics are pretty hard to read fandom blind, usually because they rely on super subtle differences people would only really notice if they knew canon really well. That being said, I do enjoy your prose a lot. I think you could stand to speed the fishing scene up slightly, but besides that I think you do a good job introducing and setting up the fic.

~Allie

Hi! Good second chapter! It's so interesting reading about them so young!
I wonder who the True King will be now.

Wow, this is...quite something! Noctis getting rejected by Bahamut as the Chosen King? What will happen next? Though, Noctis' reaction to seeing familiar faces again was both very bittersweet and melancholy...so sad.

Aww. That was a little disappointing. I thought from the summary there was going to be an older version on Noctis guiding his younger self. But... this is also okay, not entirely original but well written.

I really enjoyed it. Keep it up!