Wow! I absolutely love, love, love how you expanded this scene from Episode 3. The chants at the beginning, which were used in the novel, are haunting and intense. I love the debate with the children and the frank conversations. This is just incredible!
I wish the movie had expanded this scene like you did. This is a great opening chapter and the final line is a good one. It leads us to want more and expect more, and chances are, we'll see Jinn later.

Ah, so this last chapter jumps ahead. I was a tad confused with where the boy came in. I’m curious about the escape from Red Twins space port. That sounds like an adventure. Clearly, Boba Fett is a man who will stop at nothing. The fact he’s chased Obi-Wan for this long and this hard shows he is not someone to trifle with. He is a fierce competitor and how you’ve shown that in the story is fantastic. The other bounty hunters have sort of given up after not finding him or being able to track him. Fett, on the other hand, is a dog after a bone and does the best job. The distinction between the two really shows a lovely characterization without saying anything. Just that show lets everyone know there’s a reason he’s the best bounty hunter.

The cute little banter between them about how long it will take Boba Fett to find them is adorable. It relaxes the tension in this and makes it a great little moment. I love how Obi-Wan says “A minute and a half and that is being extremely generous.” It really highlights this banter and is a moment where a version of his former self shines through. It’s nice to see that in him and shows that he does live for these moments. There’s something in Obi-Wan that loves danger. Sure, it might stress him out, but he lives for this. It’s where he’s happiest and excels. You handle it very well.

It’s slightly adorable that Trever thinks Obi-Wan and Ferus can take on Boba Fett. I mean, the battle would be fantastic, but I’m not sure who the winner would be in that. All parties involved are formidable. Certainly, the Empire would find out about such a fight, and someone if not more than one would end up dead. There’s this sort of hope in Trevor’s words though that show in spite of all the oppression the Empire is imposing it’s not the end of the galaxy. I love that there’s a flickering hope through all this.

I love how it’s Trever that saves the day. It sort of mimics Luke’s journey later on that Obi-Wan is apart of. It’s neat to see how even now things are showing that same circle even though it’s on a much smaller scale. Having the younger kid, who’s knowledgeable despite his age is a nice little thing as well. It shows that age is simply a number.

It’s nice to see that Ferus is safe and sound. I’m glad he’s out of the snow and on his way to help others. It’s a really hard hit that Obi-Wan won’t be going with him, but at least he’s got Trever. I think that’s awesome that it’s almost like a master and a padawan relationship. Again, there’s a subtle nod to the prequels and trilogy. Not everything is dead. It’s also a shadow of what will happen with Luke one day. He’ll have Obi-Wan as his mentor. Love that little touch.

There’s something nice about seeing Ferus come to accept Obi-Wan leaving. That can be a huge burden off Obi-Wan’s shoulders that his friend accepts the fact he’s leaving. It also shows a growth in both characters at the same time. They both realize their place in the galaxy as well as accepting others are called elsewhere. It’s a nice theme to see in this chapter as everything comes to a close.

It’s no surprise to see Darsha. Of course, Qui-Gon would inform her of where she needs to be. It’s nice to see how the Force really does connect everything. Simply using Qui-Gon connects the Force with everything in this story. He’s been working behind the scenes and is responsible for much of what’s going on. It’s shown here especially with Darsha showing up. It’s nice to see that as the story comes to a close. It’s a reminder that as isolated as Obi-Wan is, he’s never truly been alone. His master has never left him.

Seeing Obi-Wan wanting to play Sabacc so he can win back things he’s lost is adorable. He wants to show that he can play this game and actually win. I’m curious to know if he’ll ever win back his pods or if that’s a lost cause.

The theme comes full circle at the end when Darsha asks for Lightsaber lessons. It’s nice to see this as the next step for Obi-Wan and a bridge between now and when he trains Luke. I am curious to know if Boba Fett is permanently done hunting him, but I guess in the long run it doesn’t matter. The circle here is continuing in the best possible way.

This story overall has been such a pleasure to read. I liked watching Obi-Wan go on this journey of finding himself. There’s been a lot of ups and downs throughout, and this ends on a sweet note. He’s back where he should be, he now has a purpose not only watching Luke but also training another Jedi. There’s something satisfying about that. There’s something fantastic about watching Obi-Wan go from this horrible, dark place to having hope again himself. It allows the reader a sense of hope as well. Things might get back, but they do get better. It’s a theme often prevalent in Star Wars and I think it comes through nicely here. Fantastic job on all of this. It’s been an amazing ride from start to finish and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.

I would love for you to do a sequel to this story. I enjoyed reading this story and would like to read more Darsha and Obi-Wan's future together.

Seeing how quickly the galaxy falls into tyranny and oppression is scary. There hasn’t been a ton of time that’s past and everything the galaxy once offered has dissolved into chaos. Showing that in the Bellassa’s spaceport really sets up future events in Star Wars. It shows that things were really bad and patches the space between Episode 3 and 4.

It’s bittersweet that this is Obi-Wan’s last big mission. There’s an end to everything in that which is sad. He’s spent his life traveling and helping people across the galaxy. He’s devoted his entire existence to this and now he’s fulfilling his last mission. His whole life is about to change for good.

It’s interesting to see that the officers think Obi-Wan stole the ship. Clearly this helps set the stage for everything going on, plus it’s Tatooine so it’s not a huge surprise if someone stole something. However, it does raise the question why Obi-Wan would choose a ship that would stand out. I think the answer is necessity which show to his desperation. He needs to get to Ferus, needs to see if he’s still alive. He’s willing to take some risks and hope they pay off.

I’m not surprised that Boba Fett found him. His father taught him well. The little nod before he actually appeared was a nice tip off that he would make another entrance. I am curious how if he destroys the ship in space how he can collect on the reward. The fact he wants Obi-Wan dead so badly shows that this is more than just a bounty. It’s more of a grudge. Which isn’t surprising given all that Boba Fett has been through.

So this line “If Anakin were here, he'd be putting the ship through some crazy sort of maneuvers that I'd be sure would get us killed.” I was already thinking before Obi-Wan said it. Although, I’m not entirely sure it would end up with them dead. Anakin could keep people alive when he wanted. (Just not Padme, clearly) Regardless, he would keep Obi-Wan and himself alive while getting away from Boba.

It’s nice to see Obi-Wan have this moment where he misses Anakin. He’s been fearing and fretting and depressed, but there’s still that friendship, that brotherhood, established after all those years. Anakin is still his family after all this time and it wouldn’t seem right if he hadn’t thought of Anakin. I love that he doesn’t want to think of him as Darth Vader. To him, he’s still Anakin Skywalker, arrogant but also his padawan.

I like how Obi-Wan made a good thing out of something bad. Boba Fett was hunting him and the only place Obi-Wan could land was where he needed to be. It works out in several ways. Sure, maybe Fett now has an idea of where he’s hiding, but he’s not sure the exact place. That works out for Obi-Wan in a lot of ways. Buys him time at the very least.

What a weather shock to Obi-Wan. He went from being in this constant heat to now the freezing cold. I would much prefer the freezing cold in his shoes, but regardless, that has to be a shock. With the fact that he can see his breath immediately, that is extremely cold. Ferus chose an interesting location to hide. His enemies would probably freeze to death first before they found him. Smart on his part. And I think Obi-Wan means a snowcrawler instead of a sandcrawler.

I love that Ferus greets Obi-Wan with a fierce hug. In that little moment, you can really see all that he’s been through without being told. You can also see what kind of person Ferus just in that moment. He is a strong man, since he’s living alone, but he’s also in the same exact boat as Obi-Wan. Exile. He seems to be handling it a tad differently than Obi-Wan though. Ferus seems to acknowledge in some way that he’s in more desperate need of companionship. Although, he’s more isolated physically than Obi-Wan is. That really comes through in the hug.

There’s a bit of a sad moment on the other side of this hug. Obi-Wan has a lot of things going on with him internally. He’s got this grief and guilt thing that really controls his entire life. There is nothing else except his desire to see Luke through to adulthood. There isn’t much to his life. Rather, there isn’t much that he sees to his life. That’s a sad existence really amplified here.

So, I was wrong. Horribly wrong. Boba Fett was more than capable of finding him, even if it isn’t exactly Boba Fett. I think there’s a nice little reality underneath this. You cannot outrun your problems no matter how hard you try. Sure, Obi-Wan can hide from the Empire, but with Fett on his tail, can he ever outrun them? Boba Fett has been on his heels every step of the way. He’s going to have to confront the problem sooner or later. Now seems like just as good of a time as any.

My favorite part in this was the fact Obi-Wan immediately pulls out his lightsaber. There’s something satisfying in seeing him become that Jedi again. He’s still just as skilled and talented. He’s still perceptive to everything. I love how he leaps into the fray without a thought. That is the highlight and magic of this chapter. Seeing him come back to who he is.

I am excited to see where this goes. That cliff hanger is absolutely beautiful. Lovely job!

Hi Hi!

I love how you start this story in Present Tense; it gives the idea of a narrator talking, giving us info to get caught up into how this world came to be. Even though I've never really read/watched much of Star Wars, it reminded me of how they open their films.

I don't know Palpatine, but I like how you've introduced him both in the beginning and after you talk about how they believed that the Sith were gone, only to find out that Chancellor Palpatine was actually a "Sith Master." I assume that's something similar to being a "Force Master," and that makes him scary.

The way you describe the norm of the events around them really puts info perspective of why many would feel it is "hopeless."

Even Yoda seems exhausted from all of this.

Pregnant, she must still appear," Yoda pronounced with a heavy sigh. "Hidden, safe, her children must be kept." - I love the way you capture this little bald headed green man's dialect in his speech. Very well done.

I'm assuming this is like a prequel, which I think is awesome. I don't know much about SW besides basic things, but this story is making me want more.

I love how Bail reacted to the idea of he and the queen becoming parents to a baby girl named Leia. I didn't know that she wasn't born into a royal family... That's kinda cool. ;)

I can't wait to read more. I'll probably read more in the morning.

Until Next Time,
Neo

Very nice ending though I’d be interested in seeing more of Obi-Wan and Darsha. :)

Yay! A new chapter! I am so excited for this!

I was a little confused as to how Obi-Wan ended up in Mos Eisley but finding out that Fett had tracked them there is fantastic. The fact he made it there first seems logical. I really enjoyed that Darsha found it so amusing. In hindsight, it kind of is. Boba Fett is a bounty hunter. He would track them there. It’s his job, his mission.

I find it interesting that even here, this early on, people are not thrilled about the Empire’s take over. Why would they be is the question? No one likes huge political takeovers. People are not fans of that. And with the Emperor replacing everyone and killing the Jedi, not to mention destroying any uprisings, that can’t sit well with people at all. I do like how this subject is handled here because it shows the world around Obi-Wan is changing and adapting as well. It’s not just sitting still.

Qui-Gon making another appearance in this chapter is interesting. Obi-Wan makes a decision that he is going to stay on planet and lie low. He is going to protect Luke. Then suddenly Qui-Gon is telling him that’s not the best decision. If Obi-Wan ends up a little more irritated with Qui-Gon, I could understand why.

If only Qui-Gon had listened to Taryll. Never should have trained Anakin. So many things would have been better in the world. I really appreciate that you paint the Jedi (and Qui-Gon, by extension) as realistic. They are flawed and have issues despite trying to do everything right. It’s really well done.

Well, I am certain things would have been different. Better or worse, it really depends. I’m not entirely sure that the will of the Force determines all paths here. Sometimes people are to blame. They have free choice. The will of the Force cannot take credit for that.

I am uber curious how you’re going to tackle the Obi-Wan having no credits problem. That is a hefty issue. Maybe some Force skills will allow people to take him to where he needs to be. Or he maybe he could become a writer and Darsha could take up singing.

Ah, the classic “I have a bad feeling about it”. It would not be a Star Wars story without some version of that line. I am so glad you incorporated that into this.

I really like that Darsha knows things. She isn’t sure how others know things, but she’s wise enough to know when there are other players in the game. She also recognizes others have their ways of knowing things. Her desire to know how others gain their information is helpful for her in the long run.

I’m sad that Darsha isn’t going with him. I like how she plays against him.

It’s a good thing that Darsha stays. She can protect Luke while Obi-Wan leads Boba Fett off planet. It’s a solid reason, though it sucks. The two of them and the friendship/bond/ship they’re forming is adorable. There’s this realness about it, this life to it. I think her best asset this far is her wisdom. She has a quiet wisdom that is in no one’s face and serves the story well.
But I still want her to go.

AHHHHH! That is the best thing I’ve heard! I thought it was her mom that she had conversations with. How much better is it that it’s Qui-Gon?! He’s like Jesus in some ways. Though, again, the Anakin thing still mars him in my book. I just love that he talks to Darsha as well. Wait… Is that her dad?

Just hug her, Obi-Wan. You owe her that much.

I really liked this chapter. It was over before I knew it. It was really well put together and thought out. There were so many good little revelations in this. I’m still sad that Darsha didn’t go with Obi-Wan, but man oh man how I loved that reveal at the end. I like how she reveals the source before Obi-Wan does since they both share the same source. This was amazing. I can’t wait to see what happens to Obi-Wan on Bellassa and if he finds Ferus.

I have a feeling it’s not going to end well for Ferus though. He wasn’t in the original trilogy so I don’t know if things are going to go well for him here. Or at least, I don’t think he was in the trilogy. In any case, I’m excited to see what happens next!

Lol it occured to me someone could die in a sandstorm if they had to be locked up for days and they had no water

The little moments about the Sand People being a threat is rather curious. They’re here and there, but not seen a whole lot. People are just on edge, there are brief moments of them. It really has me wondering if there’s going to be a run in with them on the horizon. With as much as is said and hinted, I can’t imagine there wouldn’t be. They have to show up at some point. After all, they are dangerous to everyone and it seems like there should be some showing of that with them. I absolutely love how people run for cover because of them though. The sun’s going down and the settlers are gone. They want nothing to do with that threat.

All the environments Obi-Wan is unaccustomed to yet forced to be in is so interesting. Over the years he’s worked himself into a routine without even noticing it. Now, everything single thing is new and could pose a possible threat, like when he was talking to Qui-Gon last chapter. It can also bring up emotions he’s not ready to work through, like being in Darsha’s hovel. It’s really interesting to see how he reacts and what he does when the Force doesn’t exactly let him ignore his feelings. I really like watching what happens to him. So many new things amidst so much tragedy.

I am curious what Drasha sees in him. I wish that was a tad more explored. Why is she helping him? What motivates her? What drives her? Is it the Force? Is she just a nice person with great discernment? Digging into her and fleshing that out would be amazing. We know a few things about her, like she’s helping her uncle at the cantina, but who is she?

So, Obi-Wan has seen the Tuskens attack. That must have been brutal. Yes, the settlers won, but the cost was great. The desert is not an easy place to live, and it’s even worse living in an environment as hostile as Tatooine.

So, I was expecting a game of Sabacc not a broken door. At first, I thought it was a dream before I realized Boba Fett had found them. I like how this causes him to use his lightsaber again. The feeling of being himself is sure to add to the adrenaline so anything is possible in this moment for him. He could probably take down Boba Fett for the moment if he tried. I also love how Obi-Wan is still in tune with protecting those around him as well. From the lightsaber to the attack, he’s intent on saving not only himself, but Darsha.

Did none of the locals see him with his lightsaber?

The Jawas being Obi-Wan and Darsha’s taxi is really neat. It’s a nice way to bring them back into the story and make Obi-Wan’s earlier trade really count for something. Seeing that come full circle was a really nice way to tie it up nicely. It’s also a great get away. It’s not necessarily the most obvious place to check because who would travel with the Jawas? The sandcrawler seems to be the least logical of all the ways to make an escape, so in reality, it’s perfect.

Here again, is another great show of Obi-Wan using the Force. I love how it comes back to him like an old friend. It has never left him, only dwelt beneath the surface. It shows that he’s never been disconnected or abandoned by it. With everything going on in Obi-Wan’s world, he really needs to know that the Force is always with him and I’m not sure he always believes that. He tends to be concerned with so many other things and overlooks how easily it comes to him at times. There’s a lot in this rush for Obi-Wan to contemplate later. A lot of little realizations that need to be dealt with and processed through.

Oh, that’s super curious about going to Mos Espa instead. A lesser known place since Mos Eisley is seen in the movies. I would assume it’s because logically Boba Fett would travel to Mos Eisley first. Darsha said earlier that clientele from Mos Eisley brought word of him, so he must frequent that area whether in person or conversation more than Mos Espa. In any case, that’s going to be a real treat. I look forward to what happens in that part of the world.

I think there are some really neat things ahead especially with Obi-Wan using the Force in little ways, though not necessarily having to use his lightsaber. Though, finding out that he’s still got that groove after all this time is lovely. It’s nice to see that he does still have all of his gifts though they’ve been diminished for a while is fantastic. I also like that he’s not on this journey alone. He’s with Darsha and that is awesome. Obi-Wan should never be left alone for very long. He’s just a regular person who needs companionship. Shame the movies left him all alone in the end.

I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Finally! I love that Qui-Gon makes an appearance. After everything Obi-Wan’s been through, it’s nice to see that there’s finally a moment of hope. Not that Qui-Gon gives him a whole lot of information, it’s still nice to see that he’s always there and he’s helping Obi-Wan even though he’s not giving him the answers.

I love how Obi-Wan’s having a moment, so he tells Qui-Gon that he reminds him of Yoda. Instead of this being some kind of dis or something, Qui-Gon considers it the highest honor. I like how Qui-Gon is unaffected by Obi-Wan. I mean, he is dead so there’s no reason for it to affect him, but still. It’s also nice to see how peaceful he is in the afterlife. Or more like, hear since Obi-Wan looks like he’s talking to himself.

Can I say that in itself is funny? He ducks into an abandoned corner and is having a conversation with himself to any passerbyers. That would be really funny to walk up on. I know I’ve seen plenty of people talking to themselves. I’ve walked by when they’re saying the strangest things. Obi-Wan could easily be that way as well. People could think the sun or sand has gotten to him.

I love the line “When you understand why you are not ready to begin the training will be when you are ready to begin it.”. It makes me think about my own life and really self-reflect there. It is very true. Once we understand things on a certain level, the way becomes clear. Or clearer. And how many times is the issue realizing that you’re not ready and that makes you ready? So much. I’m all onboard to see why Obi-Wan isn’t ready. I feel he has a bit to go before he solves that particular bit.

The emotions Obi-Wan brings up in this chapter I can completely relate to. I know what that’s like, I’m in that moment, but I don’t think he realizes that anger is a secondary emotion. What’s the basic feeling he has for why he feels that way? What’s the deepest, simplest level for those emotions? I wonder if part of that is connected with why he’s not ready to begin training.

I really related to Obi-Wan. I know the feeling of failure. All the questions. Everything. I love how you connect him to the reader in such a simple way. There’s not a ton of overwhelming thoughts or feelings. Everything is fairly simple. It just takes an outside perspective to see those things. I like that Qui-Gon is walking him through that. He’s leading him to the answers, but still making Obi-Wan realize them on his own. It’s such a powerful thing to have the dots connected by yourself. I love that Obi-Wan doesn’t have a lot of power, but he does have the power to put all the pieces together. Shows that despite the world falling down around him, he can still survive.

The idea that Vader is desperate enough to put seventy-five thousand credits on the head of Obi-Wan is hilarious. I mean, it’s so believable since other higher figures pay enormous sums to off the people they want. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I’m surprised that Vader hasn’t traveled the universe looking for him. (Also, as a weird thing. This sort of connects Kylo Ren to him because that was another crazy who hunted like mad) I do love how the Empire has funds to spare. Honestly, with some of the stuff they have, they clearly have credits for days. Unlike the rest of the universe.

I really love how the bounty hunter issue really comes into play at the end. This is not just any bounty hunter anymore. This is Boba Fett. He is the one who could take him out. He could easily collect on the bounty, especially since we know later he is one of the most formidable foes in the galaxy later on. (Before a stupid sarlacc had a say in the matter and that was a weird story line) I love that you’re bringing him in when he is so young. It’s a great way to show that it’s not just all about Luke and Leia. So many people have been displaced. This shows so many grew up way to fast due to horrific circumstances. Every action has a reaction here.

Darsha’s quiet presence is lovely. She’s not really center stage. She’s sort of in the background like the voices in the cantina. However, when something is important, she does shine enough to say so, like the conversation about the bounty hunter. It’s really lovely to give her that almost Force trait here. Obi-Wan was talking about how he uses the Force to dim conversations at times, and it almost seems like Darsha is a physical representation of that. It’s quite lovely.

This was a fantastic chapter and super engaging from Qui-Gon to Boba Fett. I’m so curious as to what happens next. Clearly there’s going to be some conversation between Darsha and Obi-Wan. I mean, she is leading him out of harm’s way. I love it!

Ooh, I loved the conversation between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan! It was very easy to "hear" the conversation between them. The way Qui-Gon prodded him to admit what he was feeling - with the surprising admission he felt angry - was really powerful. I think it's completely in character that Obi-Wan wouldn't want to feel much at all - what purpose does it serve? But Qui-Gon does have some wisdom to what he says, too. Great stuff.

So ominous how much danger Obi-Wan seems to be in for such a remote planet. Wondering what is going to happen with Boba Fett...

Love Obi-Wan's meditations on the Jedi teachings on attachment and love. I appreciate that you do give credit to the Jedi reasoning - it was grounded in sensible concerns, and Obi-Wan can admit that, but he can still be so shaken by everything that's happened that he starts to reconsider the wisdom of avoiding all attachment. He's still a Jedi, still mature enough to realize that there is no point in dwelling on "what if"s, but admitting that he wants to start to figure out how to adapt to his new reality, is just very well conveyed.

I retain a lot of innate skepticism of OCs, but you keep winning me over with Darsha. I like how she interacts with Obi-Wan, being smart and sharp without being unrealistically so. It matches well with Obi-Wan's characteriatic humility :)

Really nice chapter. I love the little lines you can hear in Obi-Wan's voice, like "Oh, this is not good." I really felt bad for him, feeling horrified as he realized Vader survived. And good cliffhanger!

Liking what you’re doing with this, giving a glimpse into what things were like immediately after the Emperor took control.