This story was decent. Not great. You've got excellent prose... But you fell into the trap of drama for the sake of drama. I appreciated the willingness to kill anyone. The competency and Lordships were not done well though.

You've made all these changes to the timeline, but you haven't explained to us why all these things are different. You've put Harry in Ravenclaw but he's stupid. He should be angry about Hermione's death. He should be blaming the Headmaster. He should be asking how it happened, asking where the law enforcement officers are investigating the death of a student.

Snape does not have black eyes, unless he's really not a human but some kind of animal. Rowling had a bunch of mistakes in her books and that was one of them. No human has black eyes. It's impossible. Never happened, ever. Closest you can get is dark brown.

While this story is AU it stays true to canon in the sense that HP is still an idiot. I enjoyed the beginning, lost interest when the characters turned into retards.

I enjoyed reading your story, it grabbed me and held my attention.

However your action scenes were confusing at times throughout the book due to changes of perspective. A change of perspective needs to be clearly marked by formatting or made obvious in another way.

There were a few errors that a beta would've helped clear up. Harry learns Voldemort's birth name in chapter 3 yet is later surprised when daphne tells him it later.

Why the fuck are only the bad guys hyper competent, but not the good guys? Is this a joke? All this story did was give me a headache.

Thank you so much. I havent been so moved by a story in years. This was beautifully written but so sad to read simultaneously. This story felt so real and hit hard. I even had to stop reading sometimes. You should be very proud of this.

Well, this story had a great start, at least. It kept going steadily downhill and by chapter 16, I had lost most of my interest in it. I decided to skip ahead and read the ending and yeah...I would not have enjoyed this story. With all the incompetence of the good side, the only reason they won was because the author wanted them to.

Voldemort is quick enough to dodge lightning bolts but is easily trapped in a frozen puddle? The guy who can battle Harry and a basilisk at the same time is somehow unable to free himself before Harry TACKLES, I mean effing runs up to melee distance and physically tackles, him? Note that this Harry is the one who had his innards turned into outards like 5 minutes ago and is all out of healing potions as well.

You have good writing skill, though, no questions about that. I just didn't like this story.

The story is good but there are some glaring flaws, the story is not consistent. Harry knew about Daphne and here aunt but conviently forgets about this information when talking to her.

This is different. It’s well written. A very pragmatic Harry Potter and a cruel Daphne Greengrass.

This was a gut punch.

Peters nickname is worm tail not scabbers! Scabbers is the name the weasleys gave him! I don’t know how you fucked that one up lol, But besides that, amazing story so far!

You’ve left it ambiguous so I think many of us are going to hope Daphne died

Sirus dead Tonks dead Dumbledore ably just Alive harry escaping to fulfil the romance quota just as I predicted when you aced Mcgonagall

Not suppriaed ac vector she was the only real suspect from the get go.
Wasn’t expecting Mcgonagall to die, there seems no point to it really not in relation to the Draco situation to clear a vacant on the teaching staff yes but then there are less high profile targets she could have picked. So all in all it’s a shock play on the authors part but you are running out of major characters to kill off, and you can’t really buck the trend at this point. Sprout will have to go it will be suspicious if no attempt is made on Snape or herself. Dumbledore is not directly assialable but the way your writing I don’t expect him or Sirius to survive or Tonks and there’s no way harry or Daphne should either but then you wouldn’t be able to sail your ship of into the sunset