I suddenly just remembered this today for some reason and got excited to check on it, only to be sad when I got here and realized that it hasn't been updated and probably never will. Oh well, what could've been I suppose

I am beyond happy that someone agrees with me about the Laslow and Peri situation, to be honest they are the only reason I even began reading this story in the first place, so seeing them tossed aside as now side characters was really disappointing to say the least...also it has been almost a full year since the last update on this story and that worries me that I possibly wasted all that time reading and will never get an ending! So at the author, if you happen to see this, please don't leave us all in the dark and if possible, bring focus back to what started this whole thing to begin with..

I am beyond happy that someone agrees with me about the Laslow and Peri situation, to be honest they are the only reason I even began reading this story in the first place, so seeing them tossed aside as now side characters was really disappointing to say the least...also it has been almost a full year since the last update on this story and that worries me that I possibly wasted all that time reading and will never get an ending! So at the author, if you happen to see this, please don't leave us all in the dark and if possible, bring focus back to what started this whole thing to begin with.

Classic Takumi

Selena just fucked up.

I loved the Pick a God and Pray reference

I miss this. I hope you post soon :)

Just found this a few days ago and I am so glad I decided to read this. I'm not the most articulate person, so all I can say is good job really. I haven't been this engrossed in a fanfic in a while. Seriously, you got a special thing going on here. Thanks for this experience, I'll be looking forward to whatever is to come.

Okay, so now I’m caught up on the story so far and ready to give my thoughts.

This story excels in the voice you give the writing. There are so many great little phrases, nice jokes nestled within seemingly normal dialogue, etc. For example, the bit a few chapters back about Xander thinking of his father as a Wyvern that eats its young made me actually exclaim out loud how clever that was. You have a real, genuine voice in your writing, and its importance cannot be understated.

You also have a great sense of pacing. Every time I begin to grow tired of a setting, you seem to read my mind and go to the next one. As I was reading, I began to feel the story was lacking stakes, and then not even a few paragraphs later, there was that big character death. You’ve nailed just how long the story needs to hover on each main beat of the narrative.

My biggest issue is how the story has strayed away from Laslow and Peri. You did a fantastic job characterizing them, and I really have to commend you for writing Peri as well as you did; she’s not an easy character to make sympathetic. But I feel like as the story’s gone on, the focus has gone too far away from them. I do enjoy the new focus of the story, but I feel they should still have a primary role in the conflict.

I look forward to seeing where this story goes! This really is great stuff.

A bit shorter than the other chapters, but nothing wrong with that, but it makes sense with it being split off from the last chapter. You definitely captured Azura well at this stage. Sure, we don't know how she would react exactly to a situation like this, but I definitely think it would be in her character for her to blame herself. I imagine she already does, seeing what Anankos was able to do in game alone. You can really see how the secrets she keeps are just eating at her, and she knows she has to tell them the truth. At the same time, the truth is the last thing she can tell them. Not sure if you're going to incorporate the curse of Valla into this, but I assume it's still in effect, so apart from both sides hating her if they knew, if she tells them exactly what's happening, it would literally be the last thing Azura would do. I feel bad for her too, carrying the weight of her lies as you put it. Admittedly, I never really thought too much of Azura, but this definitely provides some new insight for me into her.

Well done. As always, I can't wait to see what comes next.

Short, not a whole lot to say here cept... Wait, was that old English that you titled Azura with? Dottir? Sounds like Anglo Saxon titling of daughter... If so, way to go the extra mile.

Hmm, looks like more of a single scene rather than a chapter but its a good setup for Revelations content later.

Stop the sad please

Sorry for the delay in reviewing. Between some long days at work, then me ending up with whatever bug is going around either my office or my house, well, I just didn't get around to it. But I'm making up for it now.

First off, on an overview, I really liked how this chapter had scenes that really paired off each other, with both Xander and Hinoka and Ryoma and Camilla growing a bit closer to the other, although, I'll elaborate more on that later. I just enjoyed kind of the mirror images we get to see, and you might just get me to convert to Ryoma/Camilla instead. Well, maybe not, seeing as I like her and Takumi together too much, but props for making me consider it.

I take it Effie was one of the casualties then, seeing as how Xander considers it's just Arthur now.

I thought it was an interesting show of how both Xander and Hinoka express their grief and sorrow. Both of them hide behind public faces, at least it appears that way. I really doubt Hinoka would bawl her eyes out in front of anyone. So, she tends to hide behind a face that's really more vinegar than anything else, not to say the stubborn, foul-mouthed bit isn't her real personality, but I'm saying she'd definitely save the tears for behind closed doors. Xander definitely would. But as they both explore the loss of Corrin, I like that they're growing closer to each other. I keep hoping for a kiss at some point, much like I did with Laslow and Peri, but now, I'm a bit more cautious in my hopes. Still, I like the seeds that have been planted, and it looks like they're starting to grow. That admission that neither one wants to fight the other really says a lot. I hope they don't have to.

Ryoma and Camilla's moment was also quite good. It really highlights what she must have gone through to think that he has some ulterior motive, coming to see her, and I imagine she's had quite a few who just wanted the simpler option. After all, she's been treated like an object for her childhood, so that's an outlook that won't go away. I had to smile a bit as she found tears in her eyes, just at how sweet and how sincere Ryoma's offer of friendship. As strong a woman as Camilla is, I can believe the little things like that would chip that armor of hers. And then the bomb drops. I also kind of wish the game had given us a Ryoma/Scarlet pairing because it makes so much sense. But in any case, finding out that Camilla was the one who killed her, well that certainly throws a wrench into the works. I can't wait to see how that little bit turns out later. And I have to say, talk about being saved by the bell when Xander shows up. Of course, it's going to come out sooner than later.

And now, we end on a note that's not quite a cliffhanger but definitely a good lead-in to the next chapter. I wonder what Azura is going to have to say about all this. I mean I know what she'll say, but I wonder how she'll say it, seeing the measures Anankos took to keep Valla and by extension himself a secret.

This story is always worth the wait. I hope my review was too.

Well done.

Good chapter, sets up for the next arc.