While I myself would be fine with you keeping Dartmouth, your idea does make sense more so in how another character could replace. My stance on maintaining him has more so to do with just how intense his time in the fiction has been so far. Not to mention, he’s the premiere character to me from the outrealms. Not to mention, the pure huntsman type is something I do appreciate myself. Someone of that particular skill set can be kept. Granted, I do believe making cuts are necessary. While you write your OCs well, I would implore you to make a list at some point. Possibly insteading of doing spotlight chapters, I would hype up the characters through gossip and talks between members of the rebel groups. I’ll admit, using Dartsmouth as an example, that he did not necessarily need a chapter around him. I think just a couple references by Gaius about the empire employing manhunters would be a cleaner way of going about it.

While I do believe it a common trope, I think many stories remain concise in trying to devote arcs to specific villains. The memorable villains are the ones that carry over. It’s why even though Courtney is not that remarkable of a villain, his consistency in the first act onward makes him appealing. While introducing others like those under Aversa’s command, they are easier to forget.

I fully support your stance on Chrom and the interactions with the Fates trio. If there’s anything that should be stressed hard, it is the interactions between the main cast. It’s why to both affect their character arc and flesh them out.

And just one more small opinion, I don’t mind the incoherency in some of the flashbacks. It’s good use of demonstrating Chrom’s true turmoil. To be honest, I think it almost necessary to do more for Gangrel as well. Our of every character you’ve written so far, I believe you have given him the most and least. The sort of character he is works very well, but it’s hard to really know his place in the plot.

It's fine if you need some time to rethink these things. Back when I was writing ABA, towards the end I lamented that some things felt rushed and not satisfying, but I decided just to wrap it up.
Generally I don't like to go back and edit things en masse, but that's my own process.

I do agree on the "less characters" idea. Most of the driving force ARE OCs, and while that's not a bad thing, I did feel it was a little hard to keep up on the expanding cast.

Good luck, man.

Woof. Sounds like another chapter pointing out specifically how roles and characters changed after the edit will be necessary too. Purge! Purge! Purge!

SAVE her.
SAVE them.
SAVE everyone.
I like Lucina...

10/10 Best parts: Vasto’s manliness must be preserved. Grima just has anger issues to sort out. F U Caeldori!

Not canon? Awww, seemed like there were some sketchy foreshadows and character developments that now technically didn’t occur. This...is...UNACCEPTAAAAABBBLLEEE!

Henry is best character, obviously. Anyone who argues otherwise will be killed by his rad non-canon ghost cannon. Of who is alive though, I really like Pheros. She has nice development.

The last question...what qualms do we, the readers, have... I’d probably have to read this again to remember or notice anything which means only nit picky problems which means no. If there is anything TRULY jarring later on, It’ll surely be pointed out for you.

This is way better than robin/lucina.
I've seen too much of that ship! It's everywhere, so this is something to get away from all that!

I loved the bit where Courtney punched Chrom in the face

And now we have Winter Soldier Lucina!? Man it’s just one thing after another in this work. If and when she fights Chrom...oh man, that’s gonna be something. Gonna hit me right in the feels. Great stuff again.

My. God.

I found this story last night and have been binge reading it since when possible. I love the premise - seems inspired by Logan? - and your characterizations of Ophelia, Caeldori, and Soleil feel spot on. Blind Cordelia just works for me too for some reason, and its great to see her revealing her true feelings to Chrom. All in all, I’ve been loving this work. But my God. The reveal. Just...wow. The horror, shock, and awe I felt slowly putting it all together in my head is something that just put this over the top, and I just had to say something. I don’t know if a moment in a fic has gotten me quite like that. Just, wow. I can’t wait to read on and see more of what you’ve written. Great stuff!

Good choice for a comprehensive recap! While leaving out the finer details, it does well to give a strong refresher for the next year to come.

Aaaaah, I love 15, too! ...I miss Henry. Now he’s probably with Cordelia in chanting hell...can’t wait to see where THAT goes.

It’s crazy to think about how far they’ve come, what’s changed since the beginning, and how much happens in every chapter. The constant inspiration from so many places really is what makes things like this still stand out in a world of repeating the same ideas over and over. The mass of concepts merge into a new one. Sometimes that can bomb, but thankfully you most certainly didn’t.

25 chapters within one year is a REALLY good turn-out rate. Funny how you say chapter 15 was your favorite, when seeing Nowi in such a state broke my heart in several pieces :(
I guess this leaves 25 chapters for 2018, also pretty great.

Absolutely amazing

Oh dont let this die.

I certainly expected Cynthia as Archangel. It made sense for it to be a Pegasus knight with the name in particular. I had that much already known in my mind, and had Phila as a decent runner up in case. Yet, I was not ready for her character. I appreciate her guard very much and how you’ve demonstrated Pheros Chrom relationship. However, the real focus should be characterizing on Cynthia. For the weaker of the two great factions, her intimidation and power is something that you demonstrate well. Her cunning too was another point. I will admit my hypothesis left me thinking Archangel to be uncaring, but this goes far beyond my idea. Her ruthless and bad nature mixed with the motivations and hurt, she’s perfect. With Robin as her father too, that is another interesting dimension to consider. I can’t deny.

Anyways, congratulations on reaching fifty chapters. You most certainly deserve the time to focus on other stuff. School can be hell sometimes, I wish you good luck!