Okay, I’m begging to remember why I stopped reading this years ago:

1. You had an interesting beginning, but it got boring really quick. All your characters do is whine about their past. Your plot has been lost in all of this whining, and the story seems to be meandering to nowhere.

2. Your dialogue is badly written. I often have to re-read parts to try and make sense of it.

3. Your story is infested with original characters. It seems like your plot isn’t going anywhere, so you keep adding characters in an attempt to make it interesting.

4. Your writing is sloppy

“Your” your use of the word is incorrect.

“You’re” you’re using the word incorrectly.

Think of “you’re” as a combination of the words “you” and “are”. I strongly recommend that you get a new beta reader, one who’s literate. This is a an okay story, but it has the potential to be more.

I’m enjoying your story so far, but there’s one minor issue: the dialogue of multiple characters are smashed together into single paragraphs. This makes it tricky to discern who’s saying what.

While it’s not grammatically incorrect to have multiple character’s dialogue in one paragraph, it’s not commonly done anymore in modern literature. Separating each character’s dialogue will help your work appeal to a larger and younger audience and make your work easier to enjoy.

Brilliant work :)

Hi! I realiy love this story!
I'll be waiting for the next chapter, I hope it comes soon! You are a wonderful writer!

Yeah! I was so excited to see a new chapter! I reread from the behinning. So much baggage in their pasts. They deserve to be happy. Soooo happy to read more!

In 10th paragraph of this chapter is writen that Minotaurs took Umbridge to the Forest... I advise to make it right. :)

I like your Minnie. :) I would like to see her interacting with Harry while they are alone. She helped Severus to sort (a bit) himelf out, so Harry would benefit from talking with her too. :)

All in all it’s a pretty good story so far. (I vaguely remember reading this story, or one similar to it years ago)

The only thing I’ve noticed about it is that sometimes it’s difficult to discern who the dialogue belongs to. You tend to cram multiple character’s dialogue into one paragraph. (Not something commonly done in most, of not all, modern English dialects) This makes it exceedingly difficult to read, especially since you don’t take measures to describe who’s speaking in your narrative.

Thanks for the good read.

I'm so glad you didn't abandon this great story, thank you for the long-awaited update!

You really did a great job on this chapter.

Cant wait to read more.

Great idea! I'm excited to read more

I really hope you continue this story...
but i understant we ar in for longer story and it take some time.
what i would like to know is if you re planning to cover whole sixth year and possibly more, or you re planning a sequel...?

Wow, I reread everything again and this story still just blows me away. It's so well written in its intensity that the tension is going to kill me next. They have never had someone of their own and it makes them crazy focused on each other. Possessive and obsessive. It should be unhealthy but it actually would ground them both. Thanks so much for continuing to write.