this... was a slog. i barely got through this. and i am not impressed with what i read.

there was too much focus on military jargon and too much time focused on the time prior to the star wars universe.

honestly this whole soldier angle you have going on makes this very hard to read. this is my third, or fourth attempt at reading this over the last 2 years. and thus far it is the ONLY attempt that succeeded. and that was mostly by skimming HEAVILY.

honestly this was dry and very dense reading. even the action sequences come across as very dry reading.

so, i would have to rate this fic low on my list. and it is unlikely to be one i ever come back to.

this fic... needs trimming. it needs to be leaner, less heavy on the drama and military aspect.

even my dad is who is ex-military would be hard pressed to read this all the way through.

so i am sorry, but despite how large the fic is? i would not call this a successful story.

So the song is about Hermione, Fleur, and Tonks? Poor Harry, such a cruel thing to demand he never get in a relationship.

More please

bah dumbledork and his manipulations and arrogance and why is harry even listening to the back stabbing manipulator ….

(Readers) If you think its star wars it literally is not xcept for last chapter which can be its own story u can skip first 9 chapters.

Wtafh is this

Im so confused? When fleur goes over her interactions with harry, it was literally only 3 times so how is he so head over heels with her? You should have made some personal connections with her and tonks. And he didnt keep tabs on her which is also wierd of such a badass. All in all this story while interesting was also a bit weak in detail and plot.

Oof.

soooo can nkt do tinge reading this old story of a robot in human form. really crappy...

I'm gonna have to drop it here. There is good stuff, but you keep piling and piling newer stuff on top. It's just too much. Usually if one character gets these momentous abilities they get one per arc. Not several per chapter. You keep adding all these complexities and developments one after another without even fully exploring one. It's ridiculous. It's frustrating. It makes a shit read.

If like to enjoy this story, I really would. But you've compressed what feels like a 300k word story into a fraction of its size. I understand you want to make harry powerful. But you either write out his full journey, or you you have him demonstrate his power and shroud him in mystery.

The way you've done this just feels like a hodgepodge of half baked ideas. I can't even follow his unrequited loves because you don't even expand those. How can I even begin to support his romantic efforts if you haven't written them? Oh boohoo I can't love them because it's dangerous. The best romances are the forbidden ones. This is just annoying.

All in all, if you actually fleshed this out and developed it properly it'd be fan-fucking-tastic. As it is, there's too much in too little space.

It's really tough to follow this. There's a really disjointed continuity, so while these interesting things are happening you can't really understand how it's linked to what you previously read. Also you keep adding new concepts, skills and events but you only name them. You don't actually fucking explain what they are. It's really quite annoying.

Sentences do not begin with 'am' nor do people speak like that. We have 'I'm' for a reason. Stop dropping determiners and pronouns for no reason.

Horse shit...

That is the most utterly bullshit storyline, charachters and storytelling I've read in a year.

Pity it had to end here, hopefully you will continue in future or at least put it up for adoption.