I'm enjoying the story so far I like to see may and ash open up to each other and give each other hints of there feelings for each other and maybe even go out on a date and ash should be the one to ask may out I believe may and ash should end up together Serena is a good female character but Serena is mostly only paired up with ash instead of some other boy like Paul drew Clemont or even max I just feel Serena should be with someone new instead of just ash all the time no offense

That was a good chapter with plenty of interesting things I like the idea of Serena traveling with max through hoenn there aren't that many where it's just max and Serena traveling together but as for the paring I really do hope may ends up with ash there just perfect for each other and knowing ash I know he still has his half of the terracotta ribbon with him just like may dose to show not just how important it is to him but also holds the memories of during their time together all the good bad and special moments they had together during hoenn and Kanto I really do like to see ash and may return each others feelings for each other and ever since that kiss Serena gave him he is starting to become less dense I hope he starts getting less dense then he usually is as the story progresses but there's also a part of me that wants both may and Serena to share ash as his girlfriend so both sides won't lose or feel up sad that they couldn't end up with the boy of their dreams

Let Ash be with both May and Serena.

Omg I really love this story and it only just started! I love that Ash and May have an older feel and the flirting is adorable. I really hope May can crack through to Ash so he can maybe forget about a certain other girl hehehe xD
The character dynamic between Serena and Max was amazing and so funny! You never really see that often I hope you'll update soon!

Interesting chapter it was Interesting to see max and Serena battle that's the first time I came across a fanfic where Serena and max travel and battle and as for what ash is hiding the one girl I see ash opening up to the most is may one of the reasons being is obvious he has feelings for may just like may dose for him and he feels like he can trust may on whatever it is he has on his mind so he should try opening up to may more offton just like may should do for ash if she ever wants to admit her feelings for ash

Interesting story I can tell as soon as Serena kissed ash his densnes was starting to get effected meaning it is starting to wear off but the main pair for ash should definitely be advance shipping this is a very good story looking forward to more I just feel that ash sees Serena as a sister then a girlfriend in my opinion no offense

Im more interested in seeing may end up as ashs main girlfriend but if this choice is an option I say have both may and Serena as ashs girlfriends

For once I hope may and Serena do end up as ashs main girlfriends so both advance and amour shipping win but if it has to be just one of them I will definitely be siding with advance shipping hands down

This story is already doing great! The way you write and describe the characters is beautifully done I'm amazed!

I also love, and I mean love the Advanceshipping hints you put in there. So cute! I really do wish you have Ash, Serena, and May be a couple. It'd be perfect in my opinion. But you're the writer so it's up to you who Ash ends up with. I do hope more Advancrshipping moments come soon along with some Amourshipping as well. :P

Great chapter and story! Loving it so far!

Is this going to be a Advanceshipping and Amourshipping? If so, will Ash be with both May and Serena?

This should be listed under the Anime world.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. Please direct any concerns to this thread: fanfiction {dot} net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread

You're formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as ["Hello," she said] or ["Hello!" she said], never ["Hello." She said] or ["Hello", she said] or ["Hello" she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part iis/i considered a separate sentence, so it's written as ["Hello." She grinned], never ["Hello," she grinned]. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like "laughed" or "giggled" is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's ["Hi," she said. "This is it."] not ["Hi," she said, "this is it."] or ["Hi," she said "this is it."] And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's ["Hi. This," she said, "is it."] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don't use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Since ash will mostly likely have romantic feelings towards both may and Serena and he's usually not the type to choose sides about when wants to be with the most why not make a hearm that only involves both ash may and Serena that way both sides win and aren't left out its you're choice but this is just a suggestion that's all

I think that kiss Serena gave ash had an effect on his denseness if u look at his eyes after she kissed him on the cheek something in his eyes sparked something within him and I hope that denseness leaves him so he starts understanding that the other girls that traveled had or still have feelings with him even those he met across his journey but didn't travel with him

I like what you have started here, and I'm curious to see where it goes. I especially liked Ash's thoughts at the end since the constant rambling sounds pretty accurate to what he would do in a situation like that.

I did have a couple of small issues with it though. It is well written (grammar, spelling all seem to be alright), but I think you were a little too quick to throw in the word himself/herself sometimes. It doesn't fit very well everywhere and it's distracting when you use them three times in two consecutive sentences. Also, "Flashback, hours ago" is not a good transition. Instead you could have cut the line entirely and made mention of the time that had passed afterwards. Finally, probably a little too far on the kiss. Public place, friends watching (one of which is still quite young)... it felt like it was a bit much.