Continued from Runaway Summer... With your well made sentences, the emotional knowledge that you bring forth, and the well formed characters, you honestly could be an amazing author in a professional field. Some things of note that I want you to take a look at however: Maybe I'm just greedy and want longer stories from an awesome author like yourself, but with how powerful these two stories are, I do feel like they need more fleshing out. Now I know that there were probably life situations that inturrupted you, or maybe a lack of motivation, it's perfectly understandable and you produced a great work here. I do believe that, on future stories, you flesh things out more. This was a one-shot, I get that, but I'm looking at Runaway Summer here. The beginning of your story was flawless, I adored it. The only time that things felt a little rushed was after C-137 faced YX-fucker. YX said that Summer wouldn't be fixable with what he did, but she recovered fairly quickly and she does need more medical attention, but she isn't in a critical condition. That felt like a part of the story that was missing. Yes, her life was in danger, yes Rick was terrified, but it all resolved really quickly after YX was killed. A segment that involved some emergency care where we saw how Rick panics, reacts, brings his resolve forward to solve the problem, that would have added a lot to the story. The other part that I felt was lacking was in both stories, the emotional recovery time, that is my only real issue with both stories. People need time to recover, but by the end of both stories, everything was just about settled. For the one shot, you could have left things still a little shaky, but hopeful, like a promise of pancakes in the morning. For the longer story, Summer wouldn't be ready yet, as strong as she is. The dialogue in the ship was nearly flawless, but I think if you ended the chapter with her feeling better, but needing the actions to back the conversation, it would have rounded nicely, I would also have included the last leg of their trip in a final chapter, her final recovery, some bonding, the trip back to Earth being easier than the trip started, and the welcome home where Summer might still be timid around Rick, but grateful for her family, and again, ending on a promise (of pancakes). I love and adore your work and I hope to see more of you.

Gah, the feels!

I really love the way you make Summer, and I absolutely adore the way you interpret (Which I totally agree with-by the way) Summer's perspective and her relationship with Rick. You're writing style itself is amazing and their personalities are down to pretty much a T. I would love to see more work like this. I hope you make more stories like this one or your other piece which was equally stellar.

Thanks again for not only writing this, but also sharing it. I really hope you put more of these stories out. Please keep writing more of this.
-Twisted

I really like your work! Good job on this awesome piece :)

This is so perfect! Thank you for writting this! :D

Yes.