will you keep that fucking dike hyuuga away tired of fucking faggot/dike story's should all be deleted

This Kumo I hi trains nag is very well thought out, and frankly inspirational. Thank you for writing!

-rolls eyes-

Actually Koharu at this point in time there hasn't been a female Kage in general.

With Kama's large... HUGE.. chakra reserves. She should be a tank ninjutsu fighter.

Women must also be medics. God, forbid a girl become the next God of Shinobi or anything.

Kama should realize she is being manipulated. She should hate the village. The only reason Kushina came to the Leaf was to be their vessel for Kyuubi. That is it.

Also. It wasn't Suna and Iwa. It was Iwa, Kumo, and Kiri.

Ninja training, uzumaki style. I love it, why do you think uzioshigakure produce great ninja. They turned their pranking skills and hyperactiveness into weapons. Finally, somebody gets it and was able to explained.

Interesting and very enjoyable. Thank you

I love how Koharu took and active role in Kamas upbringing!

I liked this story. A simple training regimen, reminding me of a 'Dear diary' kind of story.

I can understand if people dislike it though, since it was pretty heavy on explanations, and light on action.

Still, I personally find it refreshingly original. Plus it was short enough that it didn't feel tiring.

A great job, and I'm excited to read the sequel(s).

Keep up the good work,

Drake Darkduke.

P.S. Haven't read the sequel yet, but expect a comment on that one too.

Thoughts on the first five chapters:

I think my biggest reaction to this story is: oh wow, I had really different expectations going into this. I've normally come to expect mentor fics to be a mixture of hurt/comfort, power up, with a strong dash of authorial fix it attitude.

That said if you want to explore cooking ideas under the vuise of fanfiction, ok? That's fair? Japanese cooking is really neat, but you could also make these chapters a lot stronger.

First and easiest, I am really missing the ninjaness of this world. It would be so easy to have granny add in some demonstration of knife some while cutting veggies. Teach about poisons when seasoning the ramen and how certain poisons have flavors that are masked by the soy sauce or miso. Learn about anatomy when cleaning a fish. There are tonnes of ways to layer lessons while learning life skills. Same with exercise. The taijitsu forms are effective cardio and she learns to block a punch. Have her learn to identify plants as she runs through the forest. Etc. It makes the story more dynamic.

2. Have some character development. Maybe it's too much to ask that kama trusts granny right away. Maybe granny originally planned to teach kama fried rice or something but switched to ramen to ensure the girls attention. Maybe have kama break down and show some emotional fragility over having no one cook for her before, etc.

In that line, I loved, loved, loved the section where they were shopping and granny tells kama to look down her noses at everyone. That ties so many things in together. Kamas past. A real world lesson. Emotional growth. It was a beautiful scene.

Again, this is your story and you write how you want and what you want. These are just my opinions on how it could be stronger for relative terms of stronger.

Hey! I am really excited to see a story like this. There are not enough women training women stories in the world, much less the Naruto universe. I am also excited to see how you explore the role of kunoichi in this world.

There are two suggestions that might help the story :)

1) the recounting of namabokos history is boring. I've read the manga and know what happens. If it needs to be there, condense it further. Or find someway to spread out the history over time- maybe she learns more details about her background as rewards.

2) this may be disproved in later chapters, I know I am only at the beginning, but it feels like the main motive of traditional Naruto (his desire to be acknowledged) is wrapped up too neatly. I am all for emotionally intelligent mentors, but I wonder what personal growth Namaboko has ahead of her.

I love namabokos name btw (really hope I'm spelling it right) and the connection to Naruto and like how granny is handling her outbursts.

heh all I have to say here is, cute and that I didnt k oe Ramen was such an involved food. XD

*hug*

-Lorian

Ahahah. Oki.

Nevermind my last obus about prank. You got it right, awesome. I am learning to love Koharu, she is good with children.

And this I guess is why I loved all your work. Your character are people, well your female character are human. ;-P

Still, small chapter. Cluld have been beefed up with some description of what Kama looked like, the weather, etc. I refer to you *a voices in the wind* from *Tricksie* her world is beautiful and the way she describes the world is amazing.

Still, This is good. Keep it up. .

No beef from me this time. Isnt it great? :-P

- With love's, Lorian