Please update! I want to read more!

You forgot to add CHARACTER TAGS on! You should fix that!

Good chapter! :D

The prose is pretty good. Characterization wise she's still good. One thing to be careful of as you write is simply adding flaws to spice up a character, but making sure the flaws do have an effect on her day to day life. That's the difference between a flaw and a fatal flaw – though so far you're doing quite good having her need to communicate through an alternate manner. Her knowing Shiro doesn't bother me, as he doesn't completely have his memories, but even if he did, there would be plenty of stuff he didn't touch upon. The one thing that I'm still curious about is how another Earth person ended up as a prisoner, but I've already gone into the reason for that.

I can't wait to see how you progress this!
There are things I can't wait to learn. Like:
How does she know Shiro? (Aside from the obvious, 'they were both prisoners. He was Champion.')
Will Pidge find a way fro Shiloh to talk?
How was Shiloh captured?
Etc.

It's a great idea you have!

A pretty okay start, but watch your grammar and you need to space more. The paragraphs looks too clump together!

Is her name said like Shee-low, or Shai-low? You've also forgot to mention what happens to the sentry who fired at Keith. After Shiloh tackles him out of the way, the others are asking if he's okay, but remember that the robot's still there, so someone should take care of it. However, I like the character's personality, and your writing. I'm looking forward to more.

This seems like a great story. Please update soon :)

When I read the “tap, tap, tap”, I thought to myself, why is it that her background story regarding her escape is like Shiro's, tapping her fingers against the wall like that. That's not very original, but now that I think about it, her name's also way to similar to Shiro's as well. I'm left wondering why another human is on the ship as a prisoner, as the story indicates she is human. Why isn't she instead of another alien race? I ask, because it is rather odd for the Galra to have a human prisoner when Earth wasn't yet even on their radar, and is rather far away.

Characterization wise though, I've got to say she's not bad personality wise. Just be sure not to make her to angst ridden. Giving a character an angst ridden background is alright, but it shouldn't define them nor be used simply for the sake of drawing the readers sympathy.

Oh, and not sure why the story is supposed to be rated M yet, as so far it is quite appropriate for those thirteen and up. If it's not actually M rated, you'll likely get more readers - particularly since your OC is actually a lot more believable then the other OC stories so far. There's a good Coran/OC story though.