great job

Hi Hi!

Still utterly fandom blind!

This is such a sad and beautifully written piece. I absolutely loved it. I wasn't planning on reading anything today, but I decided against that plan.

I love it when stories connect the beginning and ending together. That ending line is so true: He glanced down at the woman sprawled out in what could almost pass for a quiet repose. "It is about breaking the living." - War is not about how many people died or how they died. The effects of wars are seen on those affected by it, themselves. The mothers and wives and fathers who lose people they love. The children who grow up without a parent. The people who didn't fight in the physical war but now have to fight an emotional war at home.

This story well illustrates that perfectly.

The mother (who I assume is an OC) protects her child but is killed by a heartless man. I love that when she's dying, she isn't thinking about herself, isn't begging to be saved, but she is only calling out for her son, wanting to know he's okay.( "Lucien..." she mumbled over and over. "Lucien.") - This was heartbreaking in so many ways.

What is impressive about that scene is how layered it is. You have this family who is simply working from their cart, obviously no part of the war, probably not even making a hassle for either side. I imagine the mother trying to quietly get by, avoid eye contact, and just make it to the next corner so that they can get home safely. The next layer includes this child who never speaks throughout this entire ordeal but is the center of it all. Protected by his mother, he is then traumatized by the death of his mother right before his eyes.

Two safe havens are gone for the boy. The cart used as protection (what was once probably how they made a living) and his mother who loved him dearly... And more than that, the boy's innocence is gone.

This line felt very cinematic for me: Pewter, he thought as he watched her eyes widen in a mixture of horrified disbelief and agony. Her eyes are like pewter. - The imagery is not only visually powerful but emotional for me. I loved this line. Its so sad and dramatic and it really shows exactly how time felt like it slowed down for Aramis.

I adored this piece. You make me want to watch Musketeers one of these days.

Thanks for writing!
Until Next Time,
Neo

interesting idea for a story

Good story, and you're right about the victims

I really liked this, great job!