*Gasp* Cliffhanger!

I have to admit, I was left a bit confused, but I think that was the aim you were going for ;) And I agree with the reviewers below, I really did feel like I was buried in the main characters scattered thoughts. The description was done in a way that the reader could pretty much /hear/ and /feel/ the chaos going on in her head! This chapter leaves the reader guessing and asking questions, which is something I definitely look for in a story ;)

Can't wait to see the next bit! Hope you continue!

-Pi 3

Ooh... this was interesting to read. I wonder what happens next...

Nice chapter! :)

I really like this so far! Please update soon!

Hmm, based on our conversation, I can guess what's going on here, but I won't say just in case I might spoil it for the other readers.

I probably shouldn't have laughed, but I found the narrators scatter brained talk hilarious. Especially the one where s/he was wondering about what the wet metal was inside his/her mouth. I'm guessing that was blood. Ouch. I wonder what happened for him/her to be bleeding inside their mouth (I'm going to guess it's inside the mouth).

I'd like to say that this was taking place in some sort of medical room, but I guess not. I'm guessing the narrator just finished getting into a fight with Alice, presumably, based on the bleeding and gun. Hmm, now I want to know the specifics. Hopefully the next chapter will answer the questions flying in my head right now.

Good luck with your story and I hope you won't leave us with too many cliffhangers (I know as a writer, we may be tempted to leave it at that, but it's torture as a reader)!

I feel so heavily cemented in her head it's terryfying. A lot of the descrprion was very well done, and you could 'read' the confusion and panic in her tone. The one gripe I have is that she backtracks a lot. Like, going back to a point that she already stated in order to speak about it again. If this was intentional I'm sorry, but it reads in a clunky way. Also the transition into the mystery person's thoughts wasn't well paced. I'm not quite sure how to fix that though.