Brilliant story. That is great fun.

You have a line that states that both of them thought they could walk away from their relationship with ease.
How do you figure that!? Luke at the least has admitted he is bound to her - and she has made similar noises.
Perhaps, and I mean at a longshot, they might conceive that they can break things off - at Great and Terrible cost - but "with ease"?

Also, and I've been meaning to mention this, but the random shifts from or to italics is very confusing. It has no rhyme nor reason half the time and in some cases covers an entire chapter. What's the point?

Very good chapter despite my grunts and groans :)
I like the atmosphere of it, it's got a good feel as the subterfuge builds.
M

*smiles* Some good stuff here, very interesting machinations combined with a (rocky) love story.
M

Some cool skullduggery going on, loving the details!

Jeez these two just can't seem to grow up! Luke especially goes from Jedi Master to "taking my ball and going home" whiner... bleh. It's getting a bit old, they don't seem to fight over anything - or at least you don't give details of what is irritating them so badly. Am I just missing something?
M

Another enjoyable read, zooming right along :)

They continue to struggle with their attraction (she does, at least) but at least they've moved past the 'acting like five year olds' stage, which was getting terribly boring :p

More details emerge - or don't - about the Enemy, and the main characters get brought together for some fun.
M

I read this so quickly I have little to comment - other than to say I'm really enjoying the way you are weaving this tale.
M

Mara: "...Much have I learned and much still to learn." 'Sith!' ... lmao!

Interesting snippets here and there, so far the bouncing around is working, I'm glad you use breaks and titles - it's much appreciated (and sadly uncommon).

I do have a question about Luke's musings: he mentions several things about Fixer that make it quite clear that the man was much more an enemy - even if only in the school-yard bully sense - than anything approaching 'friend'. Then Luke refers to him as 'friend' in his musings as well, it makes no sense.
I certainly recognize my the conflict I had with those from my childhood as juvenile, but I would not change my assessment of those who treated me ill to that of friend just because I realize we were all kids.

I'm really enjoying the way you subtly introduced the enemy - through the effects as opposed to some grandiose entrance, monologue or other overt reveal. We're still unclear on the exact nature, intent and especially identity of the villain, and that's pretty cool :)
M

Neat stuff, nice transitioning for the characters - though Luke sure does come across as a petulant teen a bit too often :(
I get that there's a ton of history, it's just that I hope he can reign in his impulsive "run away" thing or he's hopeless for any kind of relationship with Mara.
M

Quite a bit of fun, some good lines and the beginnings of character dev and shaping.
Looking forward to where this leads!
M

Wonderful story, you should be very proud.

A very very impressive story. Intertwines very well with all the different strands. There are some areas where it seems a little rushed and if a little more time was taken then it might flow a bit better.

Additionally, I don't know whether it is my browser or the formatting, but it seems that the vast majority of the fic is in italics. A trifle hard to read.

Is the original, unedited, version posted anywhere?

Hi Ash

I have been reading several of your story especially abou Luke and Mara but the shiftibg sand really really got me. Not just your descriptive and beautifully choosen the words, but the character you 'create' in here is just...perfect! I was almost tempted to slap Leia myself! In other stories, you can see. Leia's character either fully supporting or rejecting Mara in subtle way and with humour. Your story put her differently. She was always the ine scheming but never put into scheme, and this time she got it. The why you put Luke responding to her jealous sister, merely because of control over Luke, is amazing. And Han, caught in the middle is so realistic. I wish you had put more on the how Leia and Han had manage to build trust again. It is so real!

As for Luke's character, I love it! Most people put him as a shy farmboy especially considering Mara. I love how you put the hurt and sick Luke turns bitter against Mara and in Corruscant, and how he had manage to get a step ahead among everyone. I love how he genuinely defending peace and his own happiness. Your story shows how a hero image can easily used and manipulated.

For Mara, I love how she react to Luke's attention. I love how you poetically put their feelings and how you describe their intimacy. I felt almost broken to imagine what Luke and Mara's felt to each other. And I love especially when they have to do a cover as a dancer and her minder.

Please keep on writing. You have a talent on creating interesting stories and developing characters.

Great job!Well-done!

Reading this one yet again, I have to say it is probably my favorite of your longer stories ... and they are all excellent. There might be a few things to nitpick, but it's all very minor. It's quite simply a well-told, beautiful story, incorporating a lot of elements and themes that I think are central to Star Wars as I see it, but underappreciated in canon novels.

Thanks for this, and all your other works. They are among the best Star Wars entertainment out there :)

This is an amazing story and I'm glad I've finished it to the end. You do a wonderful job writing L/M and now I'm off to read the Emerald Price!