Good story :)

Ok that was a really cute ending I love it.

This was really cute. I loved it.

Not exactly romance or humor

Eeeeeeep. Ugh I absolutely loved this. Marcus is just perfect, and this had that hint of darkness, especially in the beginning. But really, I loved it. This pairing is a weakness of mine, and you really did them justice! Fabulous job! Xx

hot

Once again, you have shocked me in a good way with how many different ways you manage to write smut. You have a good way with words that makes it just the right amount of filth without making it completely tacky. Your spelling and grammar in this piece is good, and it was an interesting read.

I do have a few comments. One was that I think perhaps the length is a little too long for a oneshot, and as there is a couple of sex scenes in this story, you could maybe have done better to add it over a few chapters. It might come on a little less strong, that way.

Another thing is that you have clearly set this out as being in their third year at Hogwarts, with the fear of Sirius Black being present, and stuff. Not only is thirteen a little young to be experiencing that kind of extreme smut, but there is also a part where you have had Marcus saying that he has wanted Hermione for years, which kind of assumes several years. He has only known her for just short of three years at this point, and 11-12 is definitely too young to be lusting over someone. I think maybe it would have been better to set this story a little later on in their school lives, perhaps in the fifth or sixth year would have been a bit more appropriate.

Other than that, it was well written and I did enjoy it throughout. Good job!

I'll start off by saying that a 17-year-old and a 13-year-old having a sexual relationship is super creepy, especially since he would be legally an adult in the Wizarding world when this is taking place.

Beyond the general creep factor, you do know how to weave an interesting narrative. He kept erasing her memories of every time they were together but obviously something of imprint remained on her mind as she ended up thinking she was attracted to him, when that's not really how things went down...

The ending really caught me off-guard because I was not expecting him to actually want to marry her.

interesting to read

Best Marcus and Hermione fanfic I've ever read. Love it so much, you're amazing.

Oh my god. I was smiling goofily while I read this. This was great! I love me some Marcus ;) and him paired with Hermione? Even better! ;)