An interesting story here so far! Looking forward to reading more!

So far, this story is great. The question is? Why didn't you go any farther with it, it shows great promise for the concept behind this as well as pranks against Snape and Malfoy. The ability to tease the ladies or just catch them nude and use a pensive in the ROR with a camera for blackmail against Pansy Parkinson, Daphne, Tracy, Millicent. Or just to satisfy his curiosity about Susan Bones, Su Li, or any other lady who catches his fancy! The possibilities are endless especially with the time turner next year!?

Loved it update soon.

There are two things you must do in order to improve your writing: you must read and you must write. So, if you feel insecure in your ability to write romance scenes, you must...

1. Read decent romance, especially stories involving Harry and Hermione. And re-read them, paying close attention to the romance parts. If you're unsure, I'd be happy to supply some titles.

2. Start writing some romance. Look, this is your first fanfic and it's already pretty good - far better than many first or second fanfics I've seen. It's not perfect, but you're doing a lot of the right things and hitting a lot of good notes. You won't get any better without continuing to try and without stretching yourself by trying new things. Even if the romance portions of this story fall a little flat, it will give you practice for future stories. No one expects you to be perfect the first time you try.

Now, to some more specific and hopefully even more useful advice. It's my opinion that romance is more effective and believable when it's developed gradually and in small pieces than through large jumps that pop up here and there. That's how things are in real life: a romantic relationship develops through the small gestures and events in everyday life rather than grand gestures and events (they can play a role, but they don't create a solid foundation).

Developing this in a story can be difficult, but it will be made easier if you first have an outline of your story. If you create your plot as you go, only having a vague idea of how you will progress, you'll be more likely to simply insert grand gestures and big romantic scenes along the way - treating them like major action scenes. That's OK, but you can do better. With an outline, you can take the time to think about where you insert the little, everyday things. You decide where exactly you want to see important milestones in their relationship (admission of feelings to themselves, admission to each other, first kiss, first date, etc.), mark them, and then you can have believable "baby steps" in between.

For example, you specify in your outline that H and Hr will have a conversation about X. So add in there a note to be sure to include looks, gestures, and/or comments that are appropriate to that particular stage (e.g., they've admitted their feelings to themselves, but are still too scared to admit it openly to each other).

I admit that this all sounds very clinical and impersonal, but unless your some sort of natural-born romance writer or have tons of experience, you need to do something to help ensure you get it right. Focusing on little things that are already happening anyway as part of the plot may also help you avoid being too formulaic and using too many cliches. Creating an outline of your story to make sure it all hangs together well and advances at a proper pace is a good idea anyway, so you might as well also use it to ensure that personal relationships advance in a believable manner.

Good luck, and I look forward to reading more from you...

Fun story, looking forward to new chapters soon.

Thought for sure he would specify Hermoine, especially since the time frame he chose she was truly his only friend

Fun story so far. I'm not sure I agree with all of Harry's decisions so far, hey, he's allowed to make a mistake or two. (heh)

I do want a Harry / Hermione pairing, just make it develop instead of being random. Example "Oh you like me? I've always liked you... Now we're together!" Kinda stuff is just random and is an easy out.

The story is interesting, but a little nitpick. It's not Severus' fault that Remus didn't take his potion, that is on Remus' head, as that Severus was coming to Remus' office with said potion. Also, Severus would know if Harry was making shit up, he has the mark. In fact please remember in canon, Severus showed his mark to Fudge as proof that Riddle was back. This is one area where he wouldn't discount the boy.

I am so glad that Harry isn't foolish enough to tell Ron about Lucy. His secrets will be much safer without Ron knowing. Incredible update! Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

This story is awesome! I can't wait to see how everything unfolds.

It is interesting. Rather have Luna than hermione but it is interesting.

I like the chapter very much.

An interesting chapter for the meeting with Fudge and Dumbledore. Good the simple explanation worked and Fudge wants to free Sirius. Calling Madam Bones could have helped get all the Ministry involved. So Umbridge will be on her own to go after Harry.
Harry should have taken the opportunity to have Snape questioned about if Sirius was a Death Eater as he claimed to the Minister.
Good to have Hermione involved and return her memories. Maybe Harry can spend the summer with her and skip Durzkaban as he has not said anything about Voldemort and Dumbledore would not be able to force Harry to go there.
Nice gift of Invisibility but Harry needs transportation to stay ahead of Dumbledore and Babymort.
Thanks for sharing your story. Please update soon.

Terrific chapter! Thank you for sharing your obvious talents. Lucy is an intriguing character! I would have expected her to be more along the lines of omnipotent given her knowledge of the various time lines involved. At this point she seems to be functioning more along the lines of a genie instead of a mentor, which is what I expected. Anyway, thank you, again - I look forward to your next installment.